what do you do if your husband still communicates with his EX?

Las Pinas City, Philippines
June 29, 2007 10:15am CST
.. and what if he is doing it behind your back.... what do you do? what should you tell him.
8 responses
@laydee (12809)
• Philippines
30 Jun 07
This is the very thing that pisses me off with my partner. I know he's not doing anything, but the girl just keeps on communicating with him and it infuriates me. He knows very well that this bugs me a lot and tries to avoid. Well not really try, but really DOES Avoid. But he tells me I'm overly thinking too much. What I do? I try to be as open as I can be to him. I tell him how it feels for me when something like this happens. It's ok if they just talk, but for me, I think she's trying to win him back and I tell him so. Of course, he'll just laugh but he does try to make it clear with me that he loves me. So, on my part, I try so hard to trust him completely. Sometimes I just make myself busy so as I would not think. Well, the communication thing don't really happen often. Maybe once a month. I think my partner is really trying to make me trust him more.
@maddysmommy (16232)
• United States
4 Jul 07
And they wonder why we get so overprotective of them, because they continue to do the very thing we have told them not to do because it hurts us. Why don't they just listen to us in the first place and just cut it off with the ex?. Why is there still a need for them to be in contact with them? I don't get it!! and I totally understand where you are coming from laydee, totally! It may seem innocent to them, but is sure doesn't look that way to us!!
@laydee (12809)
• Philippines
4 Jul 07
You got it right sister! Sometimes, whenever I feel evil, I'd like to go to that girl and just kick her behind. But oh well, I know that'd be too physical for me. But if she does mess around she'll get what she'd deserve. But on a lighter tone,*LOL* I did tell my partner that if ever he does something stupid. I'll never forgive him because I have already told him repeatedly and openly about it.
@prily9 (568)
• Indonesia
4 Jul 07
hi, If my husband still communicate with his ex absolitely I will be mad especially if he is doing it behind my back. but if we go somewhere and accidentally met her and he only say hi, I meant not long convesation it's ok with me. for me a husband should know how to keep his wife feeling not to hurt her if a husband done something lke that, I think he still childish or perhaps he doesn't think marriage as an important thing or just a bad habit. because I have been through that thing but I guess because my husband not growing up yet to realize that my feeling will hurt if he still communicate with her ex. luckily my husband listen and realize the mistakes that he already made ( never to communicate again with her ex ) the funny thing once he met his ex accidentally he immediately call me and told me that when he went to the mall he met her. in fact I'm not mad with him but very happy that he can be honest by doing that thing.
@kprabhu (439)
• India
30 Jun 07
if he behaves like after getting married i give one of my pair slipper in his mouth,and i beat with another slipper in his face!ok! cool just for fun!
@pinks0da (328)
• Philippines
30 Jun 07
Well, you have to ask him why. And do not just assume that he is doing it behind your back because he is cheating on you. You really have to tell him that you know and you have to ask the reason. Then after you hear him out, that's the time you decide if you want to believe him or not. And if you're not comfortable with it, you must tell him to stop it whatever his reason is. If he values your marriage he should do anything within his power to take care of it. Good luck nhea! :)
@carolscash (9498)
• United States
30 Jun 07
I would be mad and I would confront him about it. However, my husband and his ex get along okay and they do talk,but never without me around as he doesn't trust her. She used to question them getting back together even after we got married and she had been out of his life for 5 years but I never thought that it would happen. I feel that it is necessary for them to talk as they have a son together and they have to communicate about visitation,etc.
@maddysmommy (16232)
• United States
29 Jun 07
I would ask him straight up why he feels the need to keep in contact with his EX and why he didn't tell you about it. What is there to hide? unless there is more to it than just talking?!? I would most definitely question his motives and go from there!
• United States
29 Jun 07
Are you sure that he is doing it behind your back or just not telling you so that it doesnt hurt your feeeling. If they have kids he should talk to his ex.
• India
29 Jun 07
Well initially i would be real furious even at the thought of my husband talking to his ex behind my back but then i would think hard why is he doing tht .. maybe it wouldbe my fault .. am i falling short somewhere in reaching out to him .. i love him, too much to loose him for things like that .. i would talk it out with him and ask him to guide me how to build better communication btween us .. and if he thinks that i am honestly not a match then we can be free to do what is best for us than doing stuff behind our backs ..