I get angry very easy
July 1, 2007 5:01pm CST
I don't know what to do, I get angry so easy. My kids make me angry always, but they are kids. My wife says angry is always a second emotion, always other emotion first, like sadness, rejection, I don't know. I must analyse it, I guess. But you know, sometimes it feels so GOOD to be angry. Do you think I'm bad for that?
• United Kingdom
23 Jul 07
Anger is useful emotion as well because otherwise if we suppressed it then it would make us ill, anger is a way of showing people how we feel, that we are hurting or upset or being ignored, people deal with anger in different ways, there aren't many people who can say they never get angry, it's how we deal with this raw emotion. Granted you are not going to use your anger to go out and kill someone, we need ways of helping us deal with anger, I use the gym and burning up anger and frustration by exercise. I get very angry indeed because I feel trapped and I feel that I am being prejudiced against and that makes me angry. You are certainly not bad, and you are certainly not alone. Just find a way of dealing with your anger, be it through music, a hot warm bath, relaxation, time to yourself or even an hour or two in the gym burning it up! Hope that helps!
• United States
13 Jul 07
Not bad, just mistaken. It might help to remember that the word "ANGER" is just one letter away from the word "DANGER." Although you don't say it directly, I think you are implying that because they "are kids" your children cannot possibly make you angry, because they are small and vulnerable and you are big and strong. Well, you are right! The kids don't make you angry. Something else makes you angry, and when your kids are annoying, this just gives you a good excuse to express the anger that was building up all along. I agree with your wife. In fact, I'll go a step further and say that I believe anger almost always follows fear, and that without fear there can be no anger. Nobody is perfect, but in today's world we are all faced with unrealistic expectations. We feel guilt when we cannot live up to the expectations we have of ourselves and that others have of us or that we think other people have of us. Then we fear the consequences. Then we become angry. We are angry because we have been backed into a corner and know no other way to get out. So, like any other caged animal, we eventually stop holding the anger in and lash out at someone else. Then we feel better for a little while because we've temporarily taken the blame off our own shoulders and put it onto some other person, preferably a smaller, weaker, or less powerful person. That is why we tell them, "You made me angry!" -- Right? Because we want to transfer our guilt and fear and feelings of inadequacy to someone else, because it is too heavy a burden for us to carry alone. The problem is that as soon as we get enough relief to think straight again, we realize that what we did was just a temporary feel-good kind of thing and not a solution to our problems. Furthermore, we realize we have acted badly, and that makes us feel more guilty and more afraid, and there we go again, around and around. Generally, people don't do this because they are "bad" -- they do it because they haven't figured out that it self-defeating and unnecessary.
5 Jul 07
Well I am 26 and you are 48. I am feeling alittle strange in giving you suggestions. Whenever you feel angry, try counting from 10 backwards. Another good suggestion which you must try is trying wearing a gem stone which suits your zodiac sign. It sure will make your mood alot cool. Try it, you"ll feel a difference in you.
2 Jul 07
maybe you have something in your mind which is very disturbing and you can't control yourself, i suggest you to calm down and try as hard as you could to control yourself, ok? if you get angry very often, it will do nothing good to your health, just make it a not habit.
• United States
2 Jul 07
I read somewhere that anger is used to hide fear. I have found that to be a very accurate statement. For example, if you are angry at your children, you might fear that they don't respect you, that they will make you look bad. Perhapse you fear what others will think if your children misbehave. Another example of where anger might be masking fear is when a person fears that they will be abandoned or simply not loved. I don't think a person is bad, simply because they become angry, but I do think that people need to make an effort to control their anger and to overcome it. I have a lot of personal experience with anger. I used to become angry to the point of becoming enraged. I have learned to recongize the feeling and turn away from it. I have learned not to let so meany things get to me. When something does get to me and I feel that I am getting to the poing where I might lose control I get away from the situation. I hope you can learn to control your anger better. Good luck.
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
2 Jul 07
If you're getting angry very easy, there's a solution: music. Listening to music will help, but playing it will help even more! Try to learn how to play the Guitar, get yourself a teacher and learn it. You'll relax more, you'll get calmer, adn all the stuff. Try it!
• United States
1 Jul 07
Everyone gets angry, but you need to aim your anger FAR away from your children and wife. Whenever you get angry you should jus stop whatever you are doing and go lay down, go read a book, come on mylot, take a drive or just do something you enjoy. It really isn't healthy to be angry all the time.