Are you getting attracted to another person?
July 3, 2007 2:35am CST
Let us look at a scenario. You are in love and you have progressed in relationship. Both of you are happy with each other and plan to think of the future. And a third person enters your life. You are in love with that person. You find animal magnetism in that new entrant and feel quite helpless. You wish to break up with your old flame and develop relationship with the new. You are getting confused about what you should do?This is not very unusual. Many marriages have been broken because of this. The failure to understand what is happening and the failure of right judgment may leave both the earlier partners destroyed. Let us look at this situationin detail and discuss the options. The first step would be to assess the earlier relationship. Find out whether you will be happy after breaking that. If you find that unhappiness will be more than any possible gains, you must drop the idea of developing the new relation and carry on with the earlier one. If you are getting very much attracted with the new entrant, please think about your reasons. What are the reasons of your attraction? Is it only lust or something else? Will you be more satisfied in the new relationship? Or will that be temporary as one more person enters your life. A relationship cannot be developed on sudden attraction. It has to grow slowly and both the partners contribute to make a good relationship. Before entering into a new relationship, please weigh all the options then decide. Hasty and emotional action can lead to long-term pain.
2 people like this
3 Jul 07
I did have this situation before. I chose the third party. Because he had been by my side but dare not approach me so he lost me. When he approached me as a friend and i knew it, i'm confused. But happy. Coz the old flame did not spend time and care for me so i chose the third party. I did not regret my decision. Till now, i'm still with my new flame for many years..
• South Africa
3 Jul 07
I have seen first hand how this can hurt people and it really is not always worth it. Carl's first wife left him for another man and she was married to this other man for a week when she told him that she had made the biggest mistake of her life. Now she is still with this man, but has always been unhappy and will not leave him because she does not want to be a failure again. Me on the other hand, I dated a guy that was seperated from his wife for a year. She was in Australia and he was here. He was the best man ever. But then there came a time that he had to think of his kids and his wife and it was difficult. I made the decission to leave him because of this very profound statement that I learnt many years ago. YOU CANNOT BUILD YOUR HAPPINESS ON SOMEONE ELSE'S UNHAPPINESS! I have lived by this statement for many years and things have always worked out for me.
2 Apr 08
i think its trhe reason most of the breakups are there. there may be third entry. its a well judged discvussion where you have atken all steps. may be i will think again and again before aking decision. abon=ve all other lives are aasociated with it.
• Quezon City, Philippines
27 Feb 08
I would say I had been into this kind of situation and I did chose the third party. Although I think I have chosen alright since the old relationship was on the rocks always and I found the third party more caring and concerned about me. She was there to support me all the way and we ended up getting married after that. I still remember my old flame but then I never regretted my decision. I was sad because she was hurt by my decision but I could not deny I love more than the other that is why I have chosen the third party. I following what your heart desires is more important than anything else whether how bad it may sound to most but then you shold make the decision basing on what you feel at the moment.
27 Feb 08
Yes, this happened to me before when i was in my colleges days. My girlfriend is a partimer in a restaurant and i regularly picked her up after her work. So everyday that im about to pick her up, and waiting fo r her outside the building, i noticed one of her co-worker. She's much prettier than my grilfriend. So eventually, i used to chat and hang around sometime with this girl. And there it started, we aome kind of understanding between us that made me broke up with my GF. But this something with the other girl did last. that is why I regret what happened and learned from it.
3 Jul 07
I give importance to relationship.When the relation is strong the question of third party doesn't arise.Because according to myself, You should progress in a relation only when you love each other immensenly,understand the the likes and dislikes of one another,accpet them and before moving on further think as many times as possible .Whether u can accept that person or not.When you start a relation on these grounds trust me u will never think of a third party however attactive one might be.
3 Jul 07
There is a phrase in swedish that states that the Grass is NOT always greener on the other side, and that is really true. There are so many relations that have been broken off just because of attraction to a third party. There will ALWAYS be attraction to other people and we need to learn how to separate attraction from love.. I do not belive that u can BE IN LOVE with 2 people at the same time, and I also think that attraction can cloud your judgement and if u just leave it at that u will be happy that u did not proceed.