2 year old and a newborn with company

United States
July 5, 2007 1:21pm CST
When people come to visit they pay more attention to the newborn then my 2 year old. How do you get company to pay attention to your two year old so she doesn't feel pushed aside? I try my best to give her alot of attention but she sees everyone coming over and not worrying about her. How do you nicely tell people to give her some attention?
3 people like this
5 responses
@psyche49f (2511)
• Philippines
7 Jul 07
You just have to be the ones to compensate for it..everytime people fuss over your newborn, you give your 2 year old your attention in whatever way you can...you can cuddle her, talk to her, hug her, let her kiss the baby newborn...that's what I did or we did when my son was born...that time my daughter was almost 3 years old, and everytime people pay more attention to my newborn, I asked my husband to also hug and hold our daughter , so that the attention is not wholly on the newborn...As I observed, my daughter did not show any sign of resentment with the coming of the new baby. She was for me secure that she even volunteers to keep watch over her baby brother, which up to now is true even when they are both grown ups.
@sunshine4 (8707)
• United States
5 Jul 07
That is a very tough situation. I always bring a gift for the newborn and the siblings so no one feels left out. Maybe you could buy a couple of little gifts for your 2 yr old and when you get company you can give your child something for being such a good big brother/sister. Unfortunately, I don't think that there is a way to tell visitors to pay attention to the 2 yr old.
• United States
5 Jul 07
I would give them a little time with the baby, then start directing their attention towards your older child with discussions about her accomplishments etc... something along the lines of "we're so proud of (insert name here). She learned three new words this week! Didn't you sweetie?" This will subtly remind your guests to pay attention to your older child, while also drawing her into the conversation. If you still feel she isn't getting enough attention, repeat this as needed until stubborn guests get the hint.
@cher913 (25865)
• Canada
5 Jul 07
yes this happens to most older siblings when a new baby arrives. What you could do is if they bring a present for baby and not for your 2 year old, you could have little gifts wrapped up for them. perhaps you could mention to your guests about some of the accomplishments that your 2 year old has done lately as to get the focus on both of them, not just the baby.
• United States
5 Jul 07
My son was 2 when my daughter was born. Fortunately, we had great friends that brought him small gifts when they came to meet his new little sister. That helped tremendously and he enjoyed the attention. For the few who didn't bring him anything, I would let the guest hold the baby and have him sit on my lap and talk to him about his day, how he is such a good helper with the baby etc. It is hard, but I think if you include the older child in the conversations then the guest will also.