Is it just me?

I think all kids go through this stage, I know I did. My most vivid memory reagrading it was the time my mother helped me pack. I told her that I hated her and was running away. I was 8. She very calmly asked me where I intended to go. So I told her far away and I was never coming back. She told me fine. Then she got out her red suitcase from when she was a little girl (I loved that suitcase) and took it to my room. I just watched her as she packed it for me with my clothes and favorite stuffed animal. Then she handed it to me. She walked me to the door and asked me if I had any money. I was told her I had $3. She said it wasn't really enough and gave me $5 from her purse, then opened the door, pushed me out of hte house and told me to call her when I got to where I was going. Then she shut the door. I must have stood on that porch for almost an hour. Then I started crying and knocking on the door. My mother was so mean. She opened the door and told me that she thought I was leaving, so what did I want. I wanted to come home. She then told me that if I moved back in (as if I had really moved out) that I had to obey her rules and that meant no more talk of running away or I couldn't live there anymore. It cured me. I never even hinted at wanting to move out again until way later in life. Like 20 years later. I never left home again until I got engaged to my husband. Like I said, it cured me. You could try something like that. If you think your son would actually try to go away if you did something similiar then I would just go ahead and spank him good. I don't like to spank my son, but I have used it as a last resort and it works.

I distinctly remember going through that phase, though I was older than him when I did. Does he have a private little "secret" place he can go, like a tree house, or a fort, or maybe even just a private little place in your house that he could think no one knew about? I think that might help. Especially if he is just doing it for no reason. It could also be stemming from a need to see you become distressed when he says that he will run away, or to be looked for until he is found, as a method a reassurance that you do care about him. It may sound ridiculous to you, because you love your son, but he may be feling like he is second best or something since you mentioned that he has a younger sister. Well, those are my insights on the subject, I hope it was helpful.

Who is the best negotiator here? (psst. he's winning) Actually, it's a tantrum. My mother would tell me that I would come back when I got hungry. I never got far enough to get lost.

I did that at about his age. My parents did spank me (NOT beat), but not for that. I don't remember how my mom handled it, but I can tell you at that time, all I wanted was to feel essential to the family. I wanted to know I mattered. I have no children, so I don't presume to know anything special, but have you thought about maybe taking him on a one on one activity just him and you or him and your spouse (boyfriend, ect.). He'll be exoecting punishment, but this way he could see that it really matters how he feels and what he is going through.

I had my oldest do the same thing about that age and my 9 year old is starting to try that too and I am sure that my 17 month old will eventually try it. Its a stage kids go through. Like you I went through many things to try to get the point across--explaining about bad people, point out all the good things at home, that someone could take him and he never be brought back again, time-outs, and sticker charts and nothing seemed to work except time. I honestly got to the point where where he said he was running away I was like 'uh huh....ok....right' and he would just stand there and look at me like 'whats wrong with her--she is not reacting' and it took a few times but that DID work. Its a way that kids test their limits and see how far they can go. I remember telling my oldest to 'remember to pack a bag' when he said he was leaving. Sometimes in this kind of situation, the less attention you give it, the better. What I mean is, don't let the child see that its upsetting you, bothering you, etc. This worked with my son but not everything works with every kid. Hope this helps in some way.

Relax, all kids go thru the same thing, my daughter who's now 15, wanted to run away at that age as well, I just explained to her that, there are bad people out there, who wont let you come back home, etc.... and that Mommy loves you very much and you can come to her about anything thats bothering you!!! And if he continues to get himself "lost" then I would say he's gonna have to stay at the sitter's or something like that, and the rest of the family get to go out, he'll learn his lesson Trust me! Good Luck!

I think every kids goes through wanting to run away. Here what you do make a plan to have him watched by a friend or family member. Then the next time he wantes to run away help him to pack. and maybe even take him to the bus station. Haveing a friend there to make sure he's safe. Help him by talking about where he's going and how he plans to eat and how hw plans to keep warm where he plans to sleep. Any way this sometimes helps because they are trying to control you with this idea.

I remember those days. I told one of my kids when they did it that I would help them pack. They ran away for a couple of blocks. They did not know that I was watching them the whole time. Good luck.

Hi there trasauma, well from my experience, i can tell you that neither me nor my brother have gone through the stage of "i am going to run away" which we are glad we did not! No it does not happen to everyone because it really does depend HOW you teach your children.... if you have a look at statistics, Asian families experiences MUCH less of these type of situation than western countries, because they do punish their kids if they do something wrong... i mean, a simple "go to your room, you are grounded for 10 minutes" do you really think that would teach them? If you have not spanked your child before, you really should start considering doing that NOW!

I have three childern daughter almost 12 and two sons 8 and 6 who never did this yet. I did it though. I was going through a very rough time in my childhood though. I did leave home for good at 16. Could there be something bothering him at school or friends, any new changes in the home? Maybe it is normal, but I think there might be something on his mind that makes he feel this way. I would be so worried too if it happened to me. Good Luck! :)