How do you deal with aggressive people?

I usually try to kill them with kindness and get them away from me as soon as possible. I feel the same as you do. I am much more likely to want to help someone resolve a complaint if they are not aggressive about it. Sometimes, aggressive people are really hard to deal with. When I was a hairdresser, I had a guy sit in my chair and tell me how horrible everyone else who had cut his hair had been. None of them had taken his fade up high enough. So I cut his hair, taking his fade up a bit higher than usual to try to make him happy. He looked in the mirror about halfway through, and started complaining that I took it up too high! He told me that I had cut his hair twice before and had messed it up both times then. Now I had NEVER seen this guy before in my life! Then he got up out of his chair and started coming at me, calling me every name in the book! Luckily the guy I was working with that day was about 6'6" and very built. He stepped in between me and the customer and told him that if he wanted, HE could finish his hair, but that he would NOT talk to me that way or touch me in any way! He made it quite clear the guy wouldn't walk out in one piece if he continued his behavior, but he was STILL nice. The guy let him finish his hair, but refused to pay for his cut. I think the whole reason he acted like that was to avoid paying for his haircut. I ended up checking the computer just to see if maybe I HAD done his hair and forgotten about it. Sure enough, I had never done it at all. He certainly made an impression with his aggressiveness, but thats not the kind of impression I would want to make.

Well... I am exactly like you... "But personally, when someone is getting agressive and copping attitude with me, I get LESS helpful. I will jump through hoops and go 100 miles for someone who is nice." It took me 50 years to learn this... which is sad. But my attitude now is... that I won't have anything to do with agressive people. A better word for them is "bullies". I have wiped them out of my life. My very best friend became one of them. The funny part is that they don't understand why I won't talk to them anymore. They are persuaded that I am wrong and that they are right. Because a bully is never wrong and does not know how to say "sorry". However... if you encounter that sort of problems in the work place... the only thing you can do is to provide the very best service possible to reduce the possibilities of aggressiveness. There will always be one who will give you a hard time. Your choice is between putting up with him and taking his money... or refuse your service to him and lose the money. The only consolation you can take... is that angry aggressive people are not happy people. So whatever they do to you... always remember that your life is better than theirs... no matter how much money they have. People are usually angry because their life sucks. Remember also that getting angry with an angry person is a waste of time. They will win everytime because they are angrier than you. They have huge reserves of anger inside them... and are very likely to use physical violence in order to win an argument.

I think I'm like you a little. I will be nice and polite, but if you get in my face, my opinion of you goes downhill, and so does my desire to be helpful. Doing the type of job you do involves customer complaints, so biting your tongue and using a sweet voice are your tools of the trade. I don't guess I can help you in knowing how far to go in accepting the abusive complaints until you lash back. You just have to remember you are representing the hotel...not yourself, and you have to be careful with the sarcasm or the complaint could fall back on you. Even if it was warranted, the hotel probably won't accept a desk clerk who is sarcastic and snaps back at the customer if they complain. The hotel will protect themselves and their reputation before they will protect you...there is a fine line. Sounds like you did all you could for the man ranting about his bathroom. Sounds like trusting in your instincts has been good so far, so keep it up.