sexually fanasty

United States
July 8, 2007 6:23pm CST
For those of my friends I posted my problems this one is way off the other discussion and problems. But here goes...I would like to fulfill my husbands fantasy. Hes talked about me and him and another girl? hes 44 years old? we have discussed it before but we dont acted because we dont know what will happen with our feelings the next day or our marriage?We think we will feel guilty afterwards. He says he loves me to much to follow through the fantasy. But i want to give him this as a token of my love. I would give anything to fill his fantasty and to be honest i might like it myself? hmmm im wondering? What have you done? Your experiences or advise? please
8 people like this
10 responses
• Canada
10 Jul 07
Just to add another perspective to some of the other responses...I think you are treading on thin ice here. I am all for consenting adults making their own choices...as long as they know what they are getting into and are willing to 'deal' with the consequences. You say you want to fullfill your husband's fantasy...for him. But what about you? What do you REALLY think and feel about his request? If you are clear that it is something you want to try...just remember there is a third person being brought into the dynamics of your marriage. What will she feel like...what happens afterwards...what if hubby likes it and you didn't...or visa versa? What if he developed an interest in her...apart from you? What if she is upset, hurt, turns into a needy person calling you both all the time? What if he wants to fullfill his fantasy again...and again...hmmmm....something to think about. There is a lot to consider and there is a ripple effect to every chcice we make. There are no right or wrong answers...but choices have a cause and effect...I hope you will think it through carefully. For your sake, your hubby's sake, the third party in the fantasy...and for the long term effect on your marriage.
@edx111 (21)
• Jamaica
27 May 08
a big amen to this
@barehugs (8985)
• Canada
9 Jul 07
Sounds like fun to me! As long as nobody gets hurt theres nothing wrong with a threesome. I can imagine that you do have feelings that match your husbands, and so, it will be fun for you too. Be sure to check that the girl is Healthy. Good idea to have her checked out by a DR. If you can find a match, she may become very dear to your both. Many people don't realise this but True love is not limited to one or two persons. Its possible to Love many people equally! Go for it and Have Fun!
• United States
9 Jul 07
we dont want love just a one time deal.Thanks for your honesty.
1 person likes this
@Stiletto (4584)
9 Jul 07
Well I definitely wouldn't be doing it just to please him. If you're going to do it make sure it's what you really want. I have been in that situation once but I was the third person - I certainly wouldn't mess with one of my own relationships like that lol! Personally it did very little for me, mainly I think because I'm not sexually attracted to other women, and to be honest I found it all a bit seedy. Having said that I'm friends with a couple who do that sort of thing on a regular basis and it works fine for them but by the same token I've known others who have tried it and it's wrecked their relationship. I suppose it just depends on the individuals involved really. The trouble with trying to fulfil a fantasy is that sometimes what you think you want isn't really what you want at all. I mean I fantasise about all sorts of things but it doesn't necessarily mean I would actually want to do them in reality. If I were you I would give it a lot of serious thought before you do anything to make it happen.
1 person likes this
@beyonce03 (2331)
• Canada
9 Jul 07
Don,t do something only for him. And also, don't fulfill his fantasy if he will not do the same for you also. Be sure you really want to do that. We did a threesome, but the thing is, I'm bi. So I had really not any problem with it. And I'm not the kind of girl who is jealous. It was ok for that experience. The girl wasnt has bi as i am. But you doesnt have to be bi to do somethiong like that. It can only both of the woman having fun with your man :) I also did a 4 times a threesome with another man with my ex boyfriend. Only the first time was good. After that he was the one who asked me if I would do it again. The three other time it was with his best friend. he wasnt really good in bed :( If you are ready go for it :)
1 person likes this
@MGarcia (331)
• United States
9 Jul 07
If you trust him, and he trusts you. GO FOR IT! There are a lot of people I know on cafemom that have done this same thing and as long as you understand where each other stands it works for them. It would be a fantasic experience for you as well. Either way, good luck in what you choose and have fun doing it. :)
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18299)
9 Jul 07
well i think you both have to have a rick solid relationship and be very mature before you go for a 3 in a bed thing. Most relationshipas cant stand it blessed be
1 person likes this
@GINAGINA (12)
• United States
9 Jul 07
I'm curious to know if it's JUST his fantasy or yours as well? I honestly don't see a straight female compromising this sort of deal BUT there's plenty of people who will disagree and say it's FUN and their relationship is totally safe. I do remember, however, Dr. Drew (sp?) a very known psychologist who said that this whole 3-some deal is just asking for trouble. I honestly don't know what the stats are as far as how well relationships last in the long-run, but this may be something you may want to research yourself. Granted, everyone is different and you must find your bliss. BUT, will you be prepared if your husband decided to take upon a extra-marital affair JUST because you ok'd this little thing? I mean, who's to say if another female came around (who didn't want a 3some) and your husband obliged by her command that it's wrong? There's alot of thin lines, and if you're not 100% sure, I say skip it. If you are 100% stable and certain of your relationship then by all means enjoy yourselves- but this is a very sticky situation that can either be nothing or the end to something. Good luck on your decision!!
1 person likes this
@vicki2876 (5640)
• Canada
9 Jul 07
My man asked this of me too and I said yes. I know that if he is with someone else he would for sure be back with me the next day. So I found a very pretty woman who was willing to do it and I told him. He say fine but a week later he said "remember what we talked about well forget it. You and me that's it" I said fine... That was that. I had tried to do it for another guy years ago so close we were all in the same room and he took me out of there and didn't like it. I am okay with a "one night" but it seems that the fantasy for them is better than realty. Tip don't get a friend to do it! That would be a whole nother can of worms
1 person likes this
@saierchok (1294)
• United States
9 Jul 07
hi, I only want to say, that if you like it too, then do it! but if you don't like it and you're just doing it for him.. then I don't know if it's gonna be a good idea for neither of you!! be aware of jealousy, of side love, of being hurted.. at any moment you feel hesitating then don't do it.. it'll do more bad to you thn good.. wish you wise choices!
1 person likes this
@edx111 (21)
• Jamaica
27 May 08
I'd think about this one REALLLLLY hard, were I you. Thinking about it and doing it are two different things. I thought about it when I had just gotten married, but it was realy, on reflection, my own insecurity and wondering if I could be happy settling down with one woman. Dont push it, act out the FANTASY between the two of you, be imaginative, it will inject some fun into the relationship, but, if you value what you have, is it worth screwing around with an act that could screw it up?