Do you still keep the stuff from your ex?
July 10, 2007 12:30pm CST
When you were together, I assume you've got letters and gifts from you ex. So, are you still keeping those or not? I was wondering, since I don't know how to break up with my current boyfriend and I consider him as an ex eventhough he don't have any idea what's going on. I love him and I really need to move on. He's such a mess. I mean, he's been a cheater many times before and now that we're in a long distance relationship, it's really hard to trust him. There are lots of changes I noticed lately. We don't chat that long anymore. I don't want to break up with him yet because I don't have any evidence to prove that he's cheating.
7 people like this
21 Jul 07
i do keep stuff from my ex..but it's in a box and i stash it away in my cupboard. i don't look at those things though, sometimes it just brings back good and bad memories. i just don't have the heart to throw them all, i'm rather sentimental lol. it's up to you whether you wanna keep it or not :)
15 Jul 07
Why not? Afterall, I can still use it right? hehehe.. kidding aside, it depends as to how did your ex broke up. If you were in really bad terms and you would not want to remember him anymore, then keeping the stuffs he gave before will just remind you of him. However, if the breakup was civil, then I guess it won't hurt to keep those stuffs.. =)
10 Jul 07
yeah.. i do.. There's nothing wrong with that. My current bf knows it and laugh at it. It's a gift given to me and I treasure all of it. Not because I still love the one that gave it to me, but because everything that's in my possession are my treasured gifts. I wouldn't expect others to the same, we have different ideas and views.=)
20 Jul 07
The moment my ex dumped me for another girl, I threw all his love letters, pictures, and gifts. If I would keep them, those would only remind me of his unfaithfulness..and I have had enough of pain. As for your problem, I'd say, trust your instincts and what your heart says. Give him the benefit of the doubt. If you really love him, tell him what bothers you. That way, you could move on with mothing to think of.
4 Apr 08
I'm quite sentimental, so I really keep things that are close to my heart. These things remind me of what has been, and it's nice to reminisce every now and then. But if you're trying to forget a bad memory, I suggest that you get rid of the things that remind you of that. Until at least, you have recovered. That will help you a lot. If you don't trust him anymore, then it's best to take a breather. Anyways, if you are really meant for each other, no matter how far you are from each other, it will still be you and him in the end. But for now, it's best to assess the situation thoroughly so as not to give you more problems in the future.
• United States
4 Apr 08
Once a cheater, always a cheater..........trust is very hard to earn back so be very sure before you keep him!! Especially since you said "he's been a cheater MANY times before". Why would you want him back? Didn't it hurt when you found out all those times? Why give him a chance to hurt you again like that?? No I haven't kept anything from my exes.
4 Apr 08
oh poor boy!! what are you doing?? you should be telling him how you feel not stringing him along while you chat on mylot... but anyways i usually keep the really cool stuff and chuck out or give back the things that were mostly sentimental to me. The little special presents that you got just to show you he loves you, yeah i think your supposed to chuck them out. It's not worth keeping them because you will probably hardly read them or use them and it will always cause problems between new lovers. I say out with the old in with the new.
4 Apr 08
Well, practically there is nothing wrong in keeping stuff that your ex gave you. For me, it depends on the situation and what kind of things you want to keep or not. Through the years, I have found that for certain painful breakups and for relationships that are not too deep, its easy to dispose of things you have shared or given to you since sometimes this only makes the memories be painful. So for me for those kinds of break up, I would rather dispose of them if it will only bring pain and hurt to me. But I will dispose of it to other people who might have use for them. For those relationships gone bad but are worthwhile and deep, I would tend to hold on to those wonderful memories as that person have shared wonderful loving moments with me. It may hurt at times in the start but keeping them at the start and let yourself heal, one day when you look back at those things, you will just come to smile and laugh at those precious memories you have shared. For relationships that are very precious that you broke up or separated out of your control, well yes it is worth a lifetime to keep the memories of that person. Why not?
4 Apr 08
I have the watch/bracelet set i was given by one ex...because he wouldnt take it back. I dont wear them but i do still have them. I dont feel right about keeping jewelry after the relationship is over. I didnt keep any of the letters or small stuffed animals from him I moved and i ran out of space to fit it all into my car so some items were donated to the salvation army..letters were shredded..
4 Apr 08
My answer: No though I love keeping old stuff especially when it was given to me by someone I really love but there will be a point in our life that you get really hurt by someone you really trust and you want to move on... There could be a lot of ways to move on or mend a broken heart... well.. I guess mine is to get rid of the old letters and stuff :). Hey, it helped me a lot! Mah next step... enjoy life without him... :)
21 Jul 07
My ex-fling (can't really say boyfriend because we were more like friends and the relationship really didn't have a foundation anyway) gave me a few gifts (nothing personal like an engraved picture fram with our names on it) and I kept them. My fiance agrees with my decision.
• United States
4 Apr 08
it is ok if you don't get a new beau who is super jealous and insecure..i used to be like this but i grew up. my wife has stuff like a jewelery box given by a guy in the marines in Tokyo and she keeps it at the head of her bed..... i know his name and my wife went with a few military guys in Japan and it really don't bother me..as I am the one she married..but sometimes we get in a fight and she said she should have married so and so..I just say "hmmm lets get his phone number and address..as he does live in California..."hey there is still chance you guys could hook up!" and she just says nothing..and if I say more she will say.."aww shut up will you? don't be stupid!" but i am honest..as if that is what would make her happy ...it would solve both our problems..lol..but now..keeping things is ok..i got a picture of my ex wife..and she posed on the internet..and the picture is xxx rated..i showed my wife this and she could not believe this was her but it don't bother her...and i just keep it not for sentimental reasons or any love interest but I look at it from time to time to remind me and by the way she has been married six times and divorced six times..that I know about..so far my wife and i have been married almost 23 years and I met her 25 years ago...but keep the stuff..but forget this type of guy..you can do much better..good luck
3 Apr 08
As you move on with life especially in a different relationship, the stuff your ex has given and shared will also move on. No, I do not keep the stuff given to me by my ex. I think of the how my present special person will feel knowing that I still have things from my previous relationship.