How to survive in a break up?

Philippines
July 13, 2007 8:42am CST
I always hear people say " love means never having to say you are sorry". But when lovers break up, why is it that the usual phrases you will hear is " I'm sorry I tried my best but this will never work out anymore". Love hurts when it's time to go and leave the person behind and it hurts like a knife. You can do nothing even if you still wish to stay if the other party already say no to the relationship. Even though you still believe that the relationship is still worth fighting for, it is useless to go on if the other person is no longer willing to help. So, if it is the case how can you start all over again?
3 people like this
26 responses
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
The feelings and emotions you experience during a break up can become intense that you may feel that they could last forever. There may be anger, resentment, fear and self-blame, etc. These emotions are natural and crying may help a lot. Allowing yourself to feel these emotions will help you in accepting and understanding the break up and you will learn to move on with your life.
• Philippines
14 Jul 07
hi single mom. nice advice. what you said is very true. when i am feeling low, i always tell myself that the bad feeling can't last forever. i always remind myself that this too shal pass.
@jen_n514 (218)
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
it's really hard to let go of a person that you still love..but if that person is not willing to fight for the relationship and wants to end it already...we really cant do anything about it. moving on is also hard... give yourself time to grieve...bec you're still in pain, but dont grieve forever ok...:D talk to your friends/family...family/friends are always there to give you comfort... ACCEPTANCE - yes accept that IT'S ALL OVER...just think that maybe you're not really meant for each other... make yourself busy - focus on different things..like work, sports etc.. and lastly...say to yourself...HE'S NOT WORTHY OF MY LOVE...:D oh well - easier said than done!:D LOL
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
i agree lolz :)D
@subha12 (18452)
• India
10 Oct 07
it is really hard to keep calm after a breakup. sometimes the breakups make you fall, it makes you torn up. You lose your trust from all persons in the world. But time is a great healer. It will help yopu to forget all. Also try to tink may be that person was not worth of you. Its not your loss, its the lose of that person who have lost a soul like you. Cheer up!
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
I'm in the process of moving on and I can say that it's really difficult to wake up each morning feeling the pain inside me. Each passing day I've realized I have to continue my life. I believe that everything is happening for a reason, whatever it is I just have to accept it. I'm hoping that time would come as fast as it can for me to heal the wound. My faith really helps me a lot. I know God loves me and that's all I need.
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
18 Sep 07
Move on, but never forget the hurt. If it was the other person's fault, be sure never to forget the hurt and you have the right, no the DUTY to vilify them. It also helps your heart and soul let the excess go. Go ahead and try it. Post about how disgusting they were/are, and in real life when you have a chance yell out in anger about them. Focus in on yourself as well. You can look in and see if the break up was your fault, and if it was some changes are needed. If its not your fault, live your life the way you want. Its your time and your life, so don't feel obligated that you need another.
@cheodej (102)
• Germany
12 Sep 07
yes, break up hurts. if u want to start all over yourself, you must first accept the fact that all happen to your past is finished and no turning back. refresh your mind and make something new. search for your self and don't stay alone at home. go often with your friends and open your heart again.
@jackxav (660)
• Philippines
12 Sep 07
Her are some tips of surviving a break up. 1.]Get all it out.Cry,scream and feel sorry for yourself.Wallow in self pity,however,one day while you are wallowing you will suddenly say,het i dont feel like wallowing anymore today.I feel better and the next day you will feel better and each day after that you will feel even better. Soon something amazing happend you rediscover your smmile and actually laugh at who you were back then.Suddenly you will thankful for what the experience taught you. 2.}Focus on today: Taking things one step at a time,one day a a time.If you start looking toward or thinking about next week,next month,next year,you will feel overwhelmed.Dont look at the broad a picture yet,temporarily limit you view,so to speak. 3.}Think positively :If you think you are beaten.You are.If you think you dare not,you dont.Sucess begins with you own will.Its all in your state of mind.Lifes bottle are not always won,by those who are stronger and faster.Sooner or later the person who win is the person who thinks he can. 4.}Have no fear:Dont let you fear cripple you.Most of the time what we fear never comes to pass,Many times our fears are exaggerated.The more we worry,the bigger and fear or hurdle seems... Hope this tips will help people a lot who wants to survive the break up..god bless you....
• Philippines
16 Jul 07
Well if that's the case then i'll stop thinking about the guy. Get over it and go on with my life. Im absolutely sure that somebody will like and love me again just the way i wanted.
• Philippines
14 Jul 07
Don't worry one morning you'll wake up and find everything just a part of memories. No more pain. Meanhwhile while you are still in pain whatever you do, do not be mesirable. Make yourself busy. Go out with friends. Meet new people. Do things you have neglected to do when you and that person were still together.
• Philippines
14 Jul 07
I experience for that situation reign, its really hard to recover. My life is also like that. We are the same feelings. My husband left me. He left me alone without saying something. Not even say I'm sorry, or just leave a message to say I wouldnt love you anymore. He left me without word not even saying goodbye. I keep on searching were he is but until now I don't know where.Sometimes I may wish that I wish I could not wake up tomorrow because I don't want to see more problems, and then sometimes I ask God why He always wakes me up in the morning cause I dont want to see the world anymore. As I saw the rising sun, I realize that how wonderful the world is..and when there is life, there is hope. Life without pain is tasteless. Pains and trials make us strong.Now, I'm ready to face the world..All I have to do is to accept and then move on...God didn't give us trials that we can't solve.. Reign, just a few advices..."Let go the hands of the one you love but don't let go God's hands for in His hands, He will be holding the hand of the person you love to let you hold each other again... Always remember this that God always want the best for us..Listen the word of God JEREMIAH 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS, FACE THE WORLD WITH PRAYER IN YOUR POCKET...GOD BLESS...
@wendy805 (261)
• China
14 Jul 07
i once had such experience.i now i come through it.those days,i will never forget.the only thing that i can remember is my sorrow,my tears,my desperation. i even dont want to live on when i heard him saying"sorry,but i am in love with ..."he cried.but i ran away.i didn't want to hear anymore.i just ran away as fast as i can, and he didn't chase me up.i knew he didn'tlove me any more. for the days since then, i everyday cried whenever,even at the class,i still wept or when i had meals.days passed, and i kept reminding me"dont give up myself,find a better life.." with those self-encouragement,i came through it.that was the most difficult time in my life. after several mouths,i stoppted crying.i can feelthe happiness of life again.so please dont giveup yourself.try to cheer up yourself.bright up the hope of life, and good times will surely come.
@braylor (10)
• Philippines
14 Jul 07
i know it's not easy to cope on break up thingy but the best thing to do are: first Pray that you'll easily recover that dilemma and hopefully found the right man for you, second you have to socialize with friends and have some party and enoy, third reminisce all the bad moments you had with him/her and then definitely you'll forget that person.
@Adey957 (26)
13 Jul 07
Well the best way i think i relationship can be sustained or let me put it this way can be resolved back between the two lovers when the other is trying to part by divorcing his partner is by puting the whole suitation to prayer there is nothing the power of prayercan not do. Not just prayer but by total commitment through faith that stir you enthuasim to believe that the relationship can still be rejoined and back to it state of love between the two involved. You have love that is alright towards the person, the next thing you must considered is faith which sustain your relationship with that persons through prayer that mentioned earlier on, and the last thing for you to do is to be calm by hoping in God to work on your behalf. Because the my Bible tells me that there is FAITH, HOPE LOVE, the word did not mention Love first and he knows that without the first two which is faiht and hope there is no love, and then it further mention that LOVE IS THE GREATEST OF ALL although the other is indespensable to LOVE it self. So if you have all these i have mentioned, the solution to the problem of surviving in break up is totally solved.
@Rittings (673)
13 Jul 07
Of course starting all over again is the answer. It can feel like your whole world has crashed in.. that your computer system has failed and you lost all of your precious data that you have kept for sooo many years... but if you can see the blank canvas that life has thrown you... maybe you can see the positive in starting again. It's hard, that's true (I know I have done it many many times! haha) but we can come through this... we are pretty tough creatures afterall.. and believe me, it doesn't get easier with experience... haha. Love and light.
@clocks123 (1227)
• United States
13 Jul 07
i'm sorry it appears that those words will sort of soften the hurt of course it dosen't it is best to know now that if the other person dosen't want the relationship to go on-- there is not much we can do as much as it hurts-- but it is good to find out now before we waste our time and emotions any longer .you can and will start over with someone else who is better suited for you --remember haste makes waste don't be hasty in choosing your future partner-- best to you
@Aussies2007 (5339)
• Australia
13 Jul 07
People break up because they enter too fast into a relationship. For most people... relationships are founded on lust which quickly become "love"... because people have great difficulties separating love from lust. However... relationships have very little to do with love or lust. It is about being compatible and wanting the same things. It is about understanding each other and making compromises when your partenaire wants to do something which does not really interest you. Making compromises is what love is all about. And if you think that "love means never having to say you are sorry"... You are very wrong. It is quite the opposite. Not saying that you are sorry... shows a total lack of respect for your partenaire. You are taking him/her for granted. Having a whole lot of expectations from the person you love is also a big killer. Just because you love someone... does not mean you own him/her. You have to respect their individuality and not steal their freedom. Don't try to turn your partenaire into your servant. You have to pull your own weight and try to do as much for your partenaire as he/she does for you. Relationships are nothing more than a partenaireship. Ideally each one contribute fifty per cent to make it a cent per cent relationship. How do you survive a break up? Start to think about what went wrong and learn from it.
@gldnopps (284)
13 Jul 07
I feel you :( i broke up with my ex-girl friend 2 years ago and eveytime i think about her, I am still sorrow, we were back and forth within that them and keep hurting each other in a way that I gave up that relationship, I know i still love her and I do miss her alot. I forced myself to hang out with friends, concertrated with works, but still, I was able to get away with it, that feeling, Ugg, you don't wanna know...
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
first thing as i always told my friends in this situation... ACCEPTANCE... accept the truth that you lost each other hands. REALIZE/INTERNALIZE... answer the question what makes it wrong? and learn the lesson and nver do it again.. RECOVER/MOVE ON... life doesnt stop there... there a lot of reason to live... there a lot jst appreciate the things around you... GET A LIFE... dont stock yourself in the corner... go and and have fun, meet new people....
@tuffy999 (794)
• Philippines
13 Jul 07
it takes two to tango. if the other person does not want the relationship to go on there is no business for you to be pushing for something that you know deep inside you is impossible and by doing this you will be hurting yourself more. sit down and sort out things then move on.
• United States
13 Jul 07
As others have noted, the first step is acceptance. The line about "love means never having to say you are sorry" comes from a movie and like other fairy tales meant to keep people pining in bad relationships, is a bunch of muck, unrealistic, and unhealthy. As to how to move on, the answer is within you. Look to what you have learned in this relationship, especially what you have learned about yourself, good and bad. Take that knowledge with you, step by step, day by day, knowing that you are stronger and better. Love yourself. Give yourself what you want in a relationship with someone else and you will find that you will enter future relationships from a point of strength and not need.