Do YOU pay attention to your kids?
By tanniebabe78
@tanniebabe78 (2934)
United States
July 14, 2007 7:11pm CST
I throw this discussion out here to get some thinking going on. I have been known to become addicted to the internet and ignore my son. I paid scant attention to him and now I'm paying the price.
Fortunately he is young enough that I can correct this and get off my behind and do something about it. Most of my malaise had to do with internet, but I'm fat too. Lazy comes to mind frequently and tired alot.
I have begun to change all of that. I don't spend so much time on here anymore. Having a newborn helps with that, but really it is about a deeper change. I've had a revelation about things and I want to share with all you other addicts.
When I was pregnant, things were hard for me. I was so tired and fat it just was unbelieveable. I weighed in at birth of my daughter 366.8 lbs. I made a pact with myself that if I lived through my surgery that I would change. I would lose weight and get more active.
I have gotten myself down to 322.6 in 6 weeks, I walk everyday and today I started running. Yes, its a funny sight, but I love running and I don't let size or others opinions determine what I do. I have WAY more energy. If fact there will be a seperate post concerning that, because its CRAZY.
Anyways, I got down on the floor with him and we played everything from cars to wrestling (until he kicked my still not quite healed stomach accidentally). Then we went out and played kickball and got in some batting practice. He's not on a league yet, but next year... you bet!
We went to the park and played there too. Which is where my revelation came to a head. I saw a mom there, she came after I did. As she was walking up to the park, she was talking on her cell phone, pushing a stroller with one hand.
Well, suffice it to say, she NEVER ONCE put that phone away! Even when she was done talking, she was fiddling with it. Looked like she was texting from where I sat. Then she got another call. Went to the bathroom and left her 5-6 year old son pushing his 1 year old sister in the swing. Well the boy was doing underdogs, and that would be fine and dandy, but he was pushing it in such a way, that if she leaned back in that chair, she would have flipped back and fell out.
On top of this obviously neglegent behavior, she didn't pay attention to the kids. Her youngest son, 3-4 years, was trying to get her to watch him jumping and swinging on the monkey bars. She barely even LOOKED at him.
I'm the type of person, that I may come in and do the computer thing, but when my son is outside, my eyes are CONSTANTLY on him. I don't trust most people and he tends to like to talk to strangers too much. Even if that weren't so, I'd watch him. If he says "look at me mommy" I DO it. Even when I wasn't so attentive, I watched him and let him know that he was important enough to watch his tricks and silliness....
I'm glad that today has brought forth a new day and that I now know what I WAS doing and that a new wind of change can come about.
Do YOU pay attention to your kids? Or are you more into your computers, cell phones, tv programs (my mom), etc...
Its time to stop putting the kids last and start making them priority one. I know I will forever make the effort to entertain and spend time with my kids. I love them and they are worth all the time away from technology as it takes to make them feel they count!
7 people like this
10 responses
@34momma (13882)
• United States
15 Jul 07
that is a great story. i am glad to see that you are taking an active role in losing the weight and spending more time with your son. i think as parents we do sometimes forget that we should spend more time with our children. i think we get caught up in the day to day things and forget how important just a hour or so hanging with our littles can make an impact on their young lives. so congrats to you. now let me get my a$$ up and go play with my baby girl. Thanks
@tanniebabe78 (2934)
• United States
15 Jul 07
Good on you for going to spend time with yours! I agree that day to day life gets hectic, but it really must become a priority. I suppose it helps if you have at least a couple of kids close in age. Son is 4 and daughter is 6 weeks, so thats quite and age difference and I know he gets lonely.
I found myself becoming on of those commercials I HATE! The bariatric ones where the lady says "I WANTED to spend time with the kids, but I couldn't get down on the floor!" That always irritated me, because I got down on the floor lots with Dylan when he was 1 or so. And I was heavy then too! Today I even got down on the floor. I weigh in at 322.6. And I still was able to get on the floor and play with him. As I said, I don't let much get in the way of what I want to do.
I know alot of it is in attitudes. DS is at that age where he is annoying and doesn't listen and acts up. I hate it and used the computer to escape him. I dunno... this change can only be a good thing though. :)
2 people like this
@simplyshawn (650)
• United States
15 Jul 07
Thanks for sharing! I am guilty of this as well. Spending way too much time on the computer for sure. I have 2 boys ages 5 and 2 and I really do need to play with them more. My oldest is going to kindergarten in just over a month. They are only little once and that's it! We really should enjoy it more.
I have been doing some thinking on this anyway before I read your discussion. There is more to life than the computer and trying like the dickens to make money. Some extra income would be nice, and it seems getting started does take some time. I will get there when I get there I guess because family and God have to come first.
I look forward to following your exercising habits! I'm rooting for you girl! Just think what it will be like when you loose another 40 lbs! You're going to blow your kids out of the water with all the energy you have! Keep it up!
I currently lift weights once or twice a week and wish I walked more. It does make you feel tons better. And I"m so glad I'm not such a wimp anymore.
Thanks so much for posting!
@tanniebabe78 (2934)
• United States
16 Jul 07
Thanks, I feel much better just with the pounds I have shed so far. I'm actually up to running sometimes. Not fast and I look ridiculous, but I love running and I'm going to do it. lol.
Yes, making money online is hard work and time consuming. Not really idea for someone with small kids. Takes too much time out of THEIR day.
I already blow them out the water with my energy. lol.... I'm still raring right now and they are both snoozing along. lol.
I have been using it to my advantage and cleaning late at night. I need to add weight training to my regimine, but just not ready for that yet. That and tae bo are next in line for being added as exercise. :)
1 person likes this
@simplyshawn (650)
• United States
16 Jul 07
Your enthusiasm is awesome! And it's great you have up and coming plans for your exercise routine, or at least different things to do so you don't get bored.
Good for you, for doing extra stuff like cleaning. Getting in shape really proves to affect every aspect of your life!
I'm so happy for you! Keep it up girl!
@Stiletto (4579)
•
15 Jul 07
You know you've touched on a subject that I've been increasingly wondering about lately. I spend a lot of time online either working or on myLot but I also gamble online too. It amazes me the number of mothers I speak to (particularly on the gambling sites) who have young children but literally spend hours on there! I often feel like asking them "do you actually spend ANY time with your kids??" My daughter is an adult but when she was pre-school there is just no way I would have had the time to spend even a couple of hours online through the day. I mean even when she was taking a nap then that was the time when I was rushing round doing housework or whatever. I frequently look after my grandaughter who is 16 months old and the only time the pc is on when I have her is at night once she's sleeping. I suspect a lot of these mothers will rue the day they decided it was more important to sit in front of a pc rather than playing with their kids. I think with children you very much reap what you sow.
Good for you for having the self-awareness to realise you needed to make a change. Congratulations also on your weight loss - keep up the good work!
@tanniebabe78 (2934)
• United States
15 Jul 07
I don't gamble. Never really have gotten into that sort of thing. I watch Oprah and 20/20. lol. I spend a fair amount of time online still. An hour or so in the morning. I try to get to it before he wakes up, but if not, I still do what needs done. Then I log off when I'm done checking in and don't come back until after they are asleep.
Its a nice balance and I get more exercise that way. Thanks on the grats, its not hard when you eat right and get exercise... GEEZ, who'da thunk it huh? lol
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
15 Jul 07
Wow-- this is nicely written- I hope people do read it and realize that their kids are the most important thing to them- I'm sitting here on mylot for a few minutes- My daughter is at the elderly neighbors house visiting- (across the street) I think it does them both good- We just got back from a weekend of camping- No cell phone reception- no tv, no computers- We go with 3 other families- they all took portable dvd players- Not us- At night when those kids were watching movies to fall asleep- I was telling my daughter and her friend stories- laying in the tent with them- It was so much fun! I came out about the time the other parents had finished with their first card game-
I have to admit at times- I don't pay as much attention to my daughter as I could- It's a busy world- But I certainly try to-
Great discussion!
Glad to hear that you are taking the right steps to lose weight- to a healthier you! Keep it up!
@Calais (10893)
• Australia
15 Jul 07
Most definantly, my children come first all the time..I would never ignore them or be selfish..I am on the computer a lot but thats when they are at school or having a nap, the computer is on all the time and sometimes I might pop in on the computer for a minute but that usually only when bub is preoccupied with a toy for a minute. But definantly I try and spend every precious second that we have together.
@tanniebabe78 (2934)
• United States
15 Jul 07
I am striving for that as well. Thanks for the reply.
@Zorrogirl (1502)
• South Africa
15 Jul 07
oh i know exactly how you feel. i try to spend every waking moment with my daughter. she is my life. she must never be unloved,ever. i do spend time on the net,but thats mostly 3 hours at work and after she has gone to bed i spend about 2 hours. never interfering with the attention she deserves.
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
15 Jul 07
I found myself in a similar situation not too long ago. I was just spending too much time on the computer or on the couch and not enough with my son. I was preggers myself about 10 months ago.. and was miserable, and I really couldn't do much.. every time i would move i'd throw up.. and the medicine they had me on made me so sleepy, i fell asleep on the toilett a couple of times!! It was ridiculous.. after I had the little guy, he monopolized so much of my time.. and then I started wasting it on here. Now I have a rule.. I can get online before he wakes up, during his nap and after he goes to bed, otherwise.. I'm off. It works pretty well, and it gives me enough time online.. and I don't have to rush around and get the house clean either. We take more walks and bike rides.. and I have time to do things.. like work out! (:
I gained quite a bit of weight with both of my boys too.. about 60 or so pounds.. and i'm losing slower than I would like (i'm sure we all are eh?) But, i'm glad to see someone else out there with the same convictions and understandings!
@tanniebabe78 (2934)
• United States
15 Jul 07
Its amazing how caught up in this fake online world we get. No wonder we are all gaining weight.
I'm glad that you too have seen the light. I hope that mother I saw on the phone figures it out soon. Poor kids.
@Jennifer21 (2476)
• United States
15 Jul 07
I do tend to spend alot of time on the computer, but I always keep an eye on my children.
And when my son oldest son wants me to watch something he is doing, I always watch and comment.
I will always place my children as my first priority.
It is such as shame when parents overlook them and worry of other things, such as cell phones.
@tanniebabe78 (2934)
• United States
15 Jul 07
Even as a computer addict I too, keep an eye on my kids, but its different than actually getting off it to go play games and get into THEIR world. That is my thoughts on the matter and the heart of my post. Anyone can keep an eye on their kids, its getting down and playing with them a good majority of the day is what makes the difference in parenting.
@Gemmygirl1 (2867)
• Australia
15 Jul 07
I usually get online in the afternoons when my daughter's having her lunch & watching her movie :) That way she gets my attention for the other parts of the day.
So i don't think my daughter ever has to worry that she doesn't have my attention, i can see what you're saying though, if you're going to have children then they need to come before everything else, no matter what!
I have a SIL with 4 kids now & she barely gets off her fat ar*e to do anything, the oldest is 4, then the twins are 2 & the youngest is just a couple months old. I don't see a point in having children if you're never going to find the time to play with them & interact with them.
It's not like she has anything else to do with her time!
I vowed to do my best with my daughter & although i'm sure some days she doesn't get the attention she'd like, i do try my best to give her the majority of my attention, in between the housework & such. I think i do ok coz she's a happy little thing!
@tanniebabe78 (2934)
• United States
15 Jul 07
It's good to know that you are like that. As with your SIL, some don't. I was like that during my pregnancy and boy it sucked. I hated not being able to do things with him.
My baby is 6 weeks now and I'm back to doing all sorts of things with him. Its a good thing.
@tanniebabe78 (2934)
• United States
15 Jul 07
That is true, but think of how much more effective they could be if they did pay more attention.
