have you lost friendships?

@milfea (519)
Philippines
July 17, 2007 12:15am CST
Someone has hurt me really bad. I can't figure out why he made me feel so down. But I have realized that being angry and settling on that bad feeling does not help at all. So, I gave up that bad feeling and decided to forgive. I reached out to him, and told him that I will always be his friend no matter what happens. After I did that, I have never known and experienced peace as I have. If someone has hurt you really BIG time, do still make it a point that you will preserve the friendship that you have with that person?
2 people like this
10 responses
• Philippines
18 Jul 07
i've chosen to let go of a friendship about 10 yrs ago. she's even a godmother to my daughter. but after what she did i wasn't able to frogive her and forget about it. i know that for eternal peace one should forgive. but for me i won't be able to forgive her. because of what she did, a major problem was created in my family. though her family is close to me, i'm like a member of their family and vice versa. but everything changed when that horrible thing happened (i won't elaborate). and since then i haven't spoken to her. never learned how she was and her family. it's just that with what she did, i've learned what kind of person and firnd she is. and it's not worth keeping.
@milfea (519)
• Philippines
18 Jul 07
Hello Jeanne94668. :). I think I understand how you feel because something also happened in the past that outcasted our family from our circle of friends because of a certain "friend" of my father's. My parents were not the only one's who suffered from that catastrophe, but we, their children also had our share of suffering. As I was growing up, I was confused why everything turned so different all of a sudden. And when I finally understood what happened, and why it had. I have learned to forgive. I commend my mother's patience over the people who has hurt her through all those years. She has grown to love those people instead of hating them. She told me that she would have never grown in character had that didn't happen at all. After hearing my Mom's story, I decided to forgive those people, and I have felt freedom, it was something so wonderful. It was like breaking free from a very heavy, tight and painful chain for the longest time. It was so liberating. I am hoping that you'll still gain what you had. I pray that you and that friend of your's will still meet someday without any hurt anymore. God bless you. :)
2 people like this
• Philippines
18 Jul 07
thank you. i hope that would happen. i don't want to have enemies when i die. maybe time would heal the wound. and make me forgive and forget as well.
2 people like this
@ssh123 (31096)
• India
17 Jul 07
Some of my friends were highly selfish to the extent of expecting that I should always be helping them and they do not come to my rescue when I am really in need of help. I had no other choice than to get rid of them and keep a few for every long time.
2 people like this
@milfea (519)
• Philippines
18 Jul 07
Many of my 'friends' are also like your friends. But I have not gotten rid of them yet. Not just yet? LOL. Maybe because I have experienced being the "bad guy," not to any human, but to my creator. I have hurt Him many times, and have seem to forget Him a lot of times, and never considering at times if what I'm doing ever pleases Him or has already hurt Him. Through it all God loves me anyway. And I think that's what God wants me to do too. :). I pray that some of your friends will be sensitive of how you feel too. God bless you. :)
3 people like this
@ssh123 (31096)
• India
18 Jul 07
Unless they experience what is meant by hurt, they will not learn. I therefore keep them away from me, I do not entertain them. Thanks for informing me about your soft ways of handling friends.
2 people like this
@ayubayu (17)
• Indonesia
18 Jul 07
if it's a pure friendship.... will never hurt each other but build it together. when something hurt happen, u all should think bout ur relation; may be there's a hidden wrong thing or problem. discuss it together. i belive... only you and ur friend know the best solution for your friendship.
@lanbei (52)
• China
18 Jul 07
i will try to forgive him and try my best to save our friendship.i think we must try to treat others with forgiveness ,and if u do not forgive him, you will be very unhappy
2 people like this
@mageshis (183)
• India
18 Jul 07
Yes i lost my very best friend, who was being with me from the child, As a made a mistake he advised not to do some thing, but i couldn't avoid the situation. I did that one, he took as mistake and angry on me, i am expecting he will come back soon.
2 people like this
@men82in (1270)
• India
18 Jul 07
Due to finance and my habituals due to profession made me to lost a friend with childhood itself.
2 people like this
@whyaskq (7531)
• Singapore
17 Jul 07
This is something I encountered some time back. I think there is some misunderstanding. I feel hurt and like you I cannot figure out why. The person may be just a normal friend, but unknowingly, the relationship somehow seems to be more than normal. I consider "writing off" that friend, but this has never been my principle. I only "write off" friends who betrayed my trust. And so, that friend remain a friend of mine. Initially it was a bit of awkward on myside to convince myself to let bygones be bygones. Afterall, I am supposed to practise equanimity.
2 people like this
@xkaraix (596)
• Australia
17 Jul 07
I generally can't. I would never intentionally hurt a friend badly and can't understand why a friend would do it to me. I've forgiven in the past only to have it happen again or for the friendship to be different. I'd cut my losses and give my love to someone that deserves it.
2 people like this
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
19 Jul 07
Hello Milfea!!!I recently lost one good friend of mine, if you have seen my discussions about my friend who had a boyfriend who hits her, she wouldn't want me to tell anyone specially her parents. She warned me not to but still i did let her parents know the situation. I was scared about what's gonna happen to her if she continues to love that man and just be ok with his cruel love... i didn't quite understand why she was so inlove even if she gets hit all the time. So i lost her friendship after i told the parents, but anyway i never regret on what i did. It's for her own good, i know i had to do it before it's too late. Now i'm still waiting for things to cool off and still hoping she'll realize that i just did her a favor and have no intention to hurt her... when someone hurt me and if that asks for forgiveness i would definitely give him/her another chance... I don't want to have enemies because that would really make me very unhappy, for in forgiveness i find peace... Peace to all. Take care friend.
@milfea (519)
• Philippines
19 Jul 07
Hey Mycharm88. :) You have just saved your friend's life. You're indeed a friend. :). I also did that to a friend, and his response is quite different from the response that your friend. He was silent for a time (I can't remember if the silence took days or so), but it was a relatively long silence. After that long silence, he sent a text message, he thanked me for confronting him about a particular matter that might have hurt him, but according to him has helped him. You can read about it in my friendster blog if you have the time. It's the most recent post that I did. I'm pretty sure that that friend of your's will thank you someday. It might not be sooner, but I know that it will. I'll pray for that. :) God bless your heart Mycharm88. The world is blessed to have you. :)
• Philippines
19 Jul 07
Yes I have lost friendships and the only reason for it is betrayal.Well,I'm in that situation where I want the friendship to be back but nothing is happening yet. I just pray that things would get better for us:(