Birth class reuntion... all the homebirths failed miserably...

@astromama (1226)
United States
July 18, 2007 10:21pm CST
I had my Bradley birth class reunion this past weekend and was shocked to find that of the six couples, three of us had c-sections.. myself included. The three of us who had c-sections were the three couples who planned homebirths. Sad that it worked out that way, but upon hearing the other couple's stories, my husband and I decided we were definitely the best of the worst! Our midwife caused a malpresentation, then had me pushing for 3 hours, which wedged his poor little head down so low and so crooked that he couldn't come out. If we knew earlier that he was crooked we might have been able to reposition or something, but no such luck. I was so disappointed that I had made it through a long, painful labor without drugs, then pushed and pushed with all my strenght and STILL had to transfer to the hospital and ended up with a surgical birth. All three of us couples felt like we failed because our natural births didn't work out... Were you disappointed with your birth experience???
6 people like this
5 responses
@Gemmygirl1 (2870)
• Australia
20 Jul 07
My birthing experienced went to plan i guess. I had a planned C Section - it happened a little later than it was supposed to because the lady having a CS before me gave birth but her baby wasn't breathing very well but once i was in there, everything happened the way i was told it would happen. I don't think there are very many women who's birth plans actually go the way they're supposed to though - things change, the body is very stressed, the baby can move wrong. I don't think there are ever any guarantees. I know you're a little peeved with the midwife but there's no guarantee anything could have shifted your son to be in the right place, he may have been there & crooked already but unless you're in a hospital, there's no real way of knowing these things. I know Midwives are trained but not in something that is more for a Dr to know. You aren't a failure at all, i guess your experience has just made me more against having a home birth - i would feel far safer at a hospital in case anything went wrong because all the equipment would be there, on hand. In my home, there would only be the basics. Try not to think about it though, you still had a beautiful baby boy & as far as i'm concerned, it doesn't matter how you give birth, just as long as the baby is born safely & comes out healthy!
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
19 Jul 07
The only issue I had with my birth experience was that I didn't like my day nurses. One of them couldn't get an IV in, and just kept jabbing the needle into my hand, and yanking it back out. Blood was squirting and she didn't even try to cover it up or anything. It actually squirted onto my husband who was sitting about 2 feet away! She was a complete idiot, though. The other nurse I had wasn't much better. She kept telling me that if I didn't push harder I was NEVER going to have the baby. Then less than 5 minutes later, she was telling me to STOP pushing because I was going to have the baby before the doctor got there. I did have my baby without an epidural and with very little pain medication through the IV (they gave it to me when they induced, but my husband asked them to stop it shortly after, because I was so disoriented). So if I had been able to have at least one decent nurse, it would have been almost perfect.
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@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
19 Jul 07
It definitely wasn't you that failed. I can expect that kind of mistake from a rushed doctor since they leave most everything up to the overworked nurses but a midwife should have known better. All the midwives that I've heard discuss childbirth have always talked about how much importance they place on proper positioning. I hope you do a lot of researching to find a better midwife willing to try a home birth next time if you decide to have any more. I wanted a home birth with my last two and I really think they are usually much better than hospital births. My most disappointing experience I guess would be with #4. My doctor decided to "speed things up" by giving me pitocin and breaking my water even though I said I didn't want to do that. Then she refused pain medication because she insisted I would deliver so quickly that there wouldn't be enough time to even order it up to my room....5 hours of laying on my back in bed later, he had his head wedged in my hip, I pushed for 20 minutes telling her the whole time it didn't feel right, his heart rate dipped dangerously low, and she finally stuck the vacuum thing on his head and yanked him out on the second try...and then later an obnoxious nurse yelled at me for unwrapping him when I wanted to see his little feet for the first time.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jul 07
Well it doesn't sound like to me that YOU failed but that your midwife failed you. I wouldn't blame yourself or even think such a thing. Next time maybe find different midwife :) Maybe with someone different you'll get your home birth :)
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@wiccania (3360)
• United States
19 Jul 07
I had a c-section a week before my son's due date because he was in breech position. It wasn't a bad or disappointing experience, except for one inconsiderate nurse. When they were prepping me she checked to make sure he was still breech. She placed the ultra sound in such a way that I could clearly see the gender of the baby and then said "Yep, he's breech." She never bothered to ask whether or not we knew the gender of the baby. fortunately, my ex didn't catch it so he was still surprised. But when he found out I wasn't surprised he was ticked off like you wouldn't believe. She was also quite rude because we got to the room late. It wasn't our fault, we showed up at the hospital 15 minutes early. But the people who are supposed to check you in decided to take a 20 minute coffee break.
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