I'm So Full of Plans That I've Forgotten By Depression
By Brian
@wolfie34 (26770)
United Kingdom
July 19, 2007 10:33am CST
It seems really weird, with all the planning and meticulous plotting over the last few days, I have forgotten about my depression. I have been excited, I have been full of dreams and the thought of a big adventure just a couple of months down the line has filled me with HOPE!
For the first time the black clouds are lifting, I am starting to realize for the first time that I can take control, I am taking control and I am moving step by step to achieve my goal
Little things like in the gym today, there's a guy who I've seen for months and have never spoken to him, today, for the first time I struck up conversation with him and we were talking for ages and ages! I wouldn't have done that before!
I am going out tonight, two nights in a row! To enjoy myself and I'm looking forward to it, it's a special club that I mentioned before in discussions where I can dress up (I wear army fatigues) and I call myself Reese!
I've got my retreat in 12 days and I've got some fantastic, supportive friends both online and off!
It's such a wonderful feeling that I don't want the bubble to burst
Even my housemate has noticed the change and he is getting very very insecure indeed!
This could be a battle against depression that will have me winning for sure!
(I don't think I could have done it without the support of my lovely, wonderful friends at MYlot)
11 people like this
22 responses
@mummymo (23706)
•
19 Jul 07
That my darling brother is because you are getting more confident and taking steps towards recovery and I am so happy! I am very proud of you sweety , I knew the day would come when you could see the light at the end of the tunnel and now it has you seem to be going at 200mph! I know you will have a great time tonight and with the retreat to look forward to as well the only way is up bruv! Do not let the manipulator drag you back down whatever you do! xxx
1 person likes this
@sweetlady10 (3611)
• United States
19 Jul 07
WOW, I am so very glad to hear that wolfie! I hope you continue with this happy moments for ever. I can understand how good you are feeling after come over the depression. I know how hard to go through depression. It is so nice to hear that you have come out of those feelings.
1 person likes this
@raydene (9871)
• United States
20 Jul 07
Sweets maybe it is your surrounding that are making you depressed and knowing you are about to flee is bring the sunshine into your life again. I am so happy you are doing better. I just know this going to be a good thing for you. I can just see you skipping away from you home and into a new adventure. I envy you Doll. You are going to have such a great time!
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26770)
• United Kingdom
24 Jul 07
I've been a caged animal too long my dear friend, since 1998 I've been trapped and at last that cage door is opened and I'm getting out, flapping my winds and living life the way I WANT TO LIVE IT. No regrets, it won't be easy I won't deny it, but when is life ever easy? Being here depressed and black all the time? I don't want that and if it takes a lot of effort to get out of that cycle then I've got nothing to lose!
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
20 Jul 07
Going out two nights in a row ... my, my, the social butterfly you are .. that is wonderful. I have always found that depression is best when it is on the back burner and this new move certainly has done it for you. I know you are excited about your holiday, we will miss you terribly, not having the wonderful discussions to respond when you are gone. But it will be a wonderful adventure that will spark a happy return to a home all yours. I wish you the best my friend.
So how is the goatee working out for you?? I am so anxious to see it, any pics as of yet??
@bonbon664 (3466)
• Canada
20 Jul 07
I'm so happy to hear that, it makes my heart smile. It's funny how the mind works, if you have something to occupy it, how you can block out not so nice things. Have fun hun!!
@eaforeman6 (8979)
• United States
24 Aug 07
how wonderful for you. That is very good to hear. I hope you have a magnificent time. Its wonderful to think positive and get positive results.....congratulations to you....
@shambuca (2524)
• United States
20 Jul 07
Oh Wolfie I am so happy for you- I knew you could do it - that is wonderful. Sometimes just busying yourself is all you need- I noticed that when I was home on unemployment it became so easy to get depressed but now that I am working (temp job and lousy pay)but it keeps me busy and the blues away.
@Naomi17 (624)
•
20 Jul 07
The thing is your housemate doesn't come across as a friend you may live in the same building but friends are different, so now your saying who's the insecure one lol
Your much more confident and i like it, in fact you don't sound depressed at all more excited about all the possibilities WOOOHOO just enjoy yourself xx
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
20 Jul 07
Hi Wolfie! Just wanted to say congratulations! I'm so happy for you! I've been in rough times too before. And I'm so happy that you are winning your battle. Keep up the good works! I may not be always around, for which I do say sorry, but I will always support you too. Stay happy always!!! (^^,)
@weemam (13372)
•
19 Jul 07
The new Brian has emerged . you have taken control , you are in charge and you are loving it pal , I am so proud of you , you are untying the knots , have a great time pal , the new you is brilliant , It is so good that you feel the depression lifting , the only way is up now pal , you have made the first step xxx
@nana1944 (1364)
• United States
20 Jul 07
Wolfie, I haven't been on much lately (computer problems) and I can't really remember seeing your discussions but seems I have heard about you from my daughter who is a member here. I hope your nights out help. Keep up what you are doing. Depression is not a pretty thing. I had some rough times but I have worked through it. One step at a time is the best way. And finding something to smile about, no matter how small, helps.
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
19 Jul 07
Wolfie- Keep moving in the right direction. Isn't it fun thinking of
the new life you will be living- I wish you well- I am hope you stay
here on mylot once you make the break and move! Your plan sounds fun
and a bit scary at the same time- but you'll do great!
@howard96h (11640)
• New York, New York
20 Jul 07
A lot of doors will be opening for you, take advantage of them all. I am so happy things are looking up for you. Way to go!
@xfallenxlostx (2074)
• United States
20 Jul 07
i am SO glad to hear you are doing so well, Brian! That is wonderful! i think this all is exactly what you needed. i can't wait for you to escape once and for all becuase i think you will be doing even BETTER than you are now. i am just so glad for you and i wish you the best.
