Financial Help ... A Sweet "NO" From Friends.

Thiruvananthapuram, India
July 20, 2007 12:07pm CST
Lots of friends to boast of...but how many of them would come to your rescue in times of financial stringency or paucity of funds . For fear of losing relationship they would not say a definite "NO" to your plea, but soon there would come from them a sweet excuse for not being able to help you out .
3 people like this
15 responses
@meme0907 (3481)
• United States
21 Jul 07
Hey s794, I could see why friends wouldn't want to get loans involved b/c it potentially could hurt the frienship. +'s |:)
2 people like this
• India
21 Jul 07
I think this is what most people would do, most of the people who are just so called friends and don't want to be in there in times of trouble. HOwever true friends would provide financial help if they really can. I'm glad that by God's grace at this moment I can think of atleast 7 friends who'll provide me financial help if they can.
@derek_a (10874)
21 Jul 07
Yes, this is true if we allot a financial value to our friends. It seems and issue of trust that is something to be proved in today's world and many of us do not trust that we have enough money for our future and then this lack of trust extends to anything that would want some of that money. I have lent money to people in the past and at other times, didn't have it to lend. But it was just a straight no. There are many ways of looking at it, but it doesn't have to be a condition of friendship to give/lend money.
2 people like this
• Philippines
21 Jul 07
I haven't tried borrowing from my friends because money and loans can break a relationship. I've seen a lot of people suddenly change because of the lack of money. I'm sure for some friends, even if they could help you out, they wouldn't because it might just ruin something that's already good. I've loaned a lot of money to a friend of mine and the money helped put her through her last year in college and study for her board exams. Now that she is better off than she was before, she has forgotten to pay me and I have to admit that it has strained our friendship. My mom had this advice for me, if a friend asks you for money and you can't give the entire amount, give what is easy for you to let go of and tell them this is all you can do to help and they don't have to pay you back. That way, you're giving them something and you're not expecting anything in return.
2 people like this
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
21 Jul 07
Hi! I have experienced that before. During the time that I was really earning so much, my friends and relatives use to run to me. I never said No to anyone, always there with a helping hand...never did they asked twice, I was readily lending them money. However, during my low times...the time when I went bankrupt due to inflation and business was not good as it used to be, suddenly I found myself needing some money to help me start all over again. Nobody helped me...my plea came down on deaf ears. I was so hurt that I gotten cold to them. Up to this time, I have avoided them because I know they are not my true friends. At the moment I am really trying to earn my keep and starting all over again. I know someday, my hard work and patience will pay off. I still have faith in myself and in God. Well, that is all I could share with you right now. Have a nice day!
2 people like this
• Philippines
21 Jul 07
i really dont say no to my friends when it comes to it except if i really dont have enough to lend some..what i mostly do is seperate my expenses then give them the remaining..but most of the time i dont say no..i lend because i wanna help not because i wanna show off i'm a good friend of course i dont do that..i will help to the best i can but other than that i cannot extend more to what i just can help..
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
20 Jul 07
Never a good idea of borrowing money from friends I have loaned money to friends and they tend to forget they borrow and if you harp on it you are soon to loose that friend and maybe better off but never borrow from a friend!
2 people like this
• United States
20 Jul 07
From Shakespeare's Hamlet, 1603: LORD POLONIUS: Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry. Shakespeare had the right idea.
2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
20 Jul 07
They say that if a friend asked to borrow money, you have to consider which one is more important, the friendship or the money. You may just lose both. I don't agree with that. I believe that if a friend is in need and you are able to help them, there is no excuse for holding out on them. This is what true friendship is all about, sacrifice, commitment, and honesty.
@cynddvs (2948)
• United States
20 Jul 07
Friendship and money is one of those touchy things that some people just aren't comfortable with. I for one would not be comfortable asking any of my friends for money nor would I be comfortable lending them money. And when I say money I mean like $100 or more. A few dollars here and there is no big deal but when it comes to larger amounts of money I'm just not comfortable with that. I think if you are in need of money you should always turn to family first and try to work out your own problems.
2 people like this
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
20 Jul 07
I agree with you there are some people who used to be your friends are very toughness in terms of money but very showy in the things or even bussiness they have. But once you ask them for help for money they usually told them that maybe some other time and make excuses all the time. Or sometimes they can helped you but with terms and interest. Is that what friends are for? hehehe
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
20 Jul 07
I think that my closest friends would help me if i asked. i would have to be very very desperate to ask. It is not good to mix friendship and money. I value our friendship far too much to risk it. In fact, I think too much of them to put them in that awkward position.
2 people like this
@pamcake (276)
• United States
20 Jul 07
I am at an all time low right now, and haven't asked any friends for help. I'm sure there woudl be some reason they wouldn't be able to. Even though they are always inviting us out to dinner, and to go on vacations..it would be unacceptable.
2 people like this
• Canada
21 Jul 07
If one of my friends REALLY needed money, and I had the money, then I would help them out. Its just money after all, if I can spare it and a friend needs it, I have no problems giving it up.
2 people like this
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
22 Jul 07
In my opinion, it all depends on whether one wants to make or destroy the friend in need. To help a friend, I wouuld think it is better to teach the friend to fish rather than fish for the friend. It is infact doing the friend a great favour by removing his reliance and dependence on someone everytime he needs help. I have previously helped a friend time and again to clear her debts, and time and time, it was for the same old debt incurring again and again. There comes a day I decide to put a stop because I am not helping her but destroying her. By helping to clear her debts, I am actually encouraging her to speculate more in the stock markets, and incurring more debts. Yes, I lost a friend but she stopped incurring more debts. I feel it is worth the sacrifice. Have faith, friend.
1 person likes this