trying to get my life in order and i can't win
By poppoppop111
@poppoppop111 (5731)
Canada
July 20, 2007 12:22pm CST
every time i help myself i get pushed back down. when my ex and i broke up we had a 6 month old and i went on welfare. i tried going back to finish my college and i couldn't get any loans. then i tried to get a job and i couldn't make enough money, now i'm looking for a new job but things don't pay much around here so i applied for low income houseing where rent is based on how much i make, i was just told even making 10-11$ an hour i can't afford low income housing. although jobs around here if you haven't gone to college don't pay that. i feel like i can't get ahead. i have one year of college left. but i don't know how i'm going to get it done, and work and take care of my kid. '
3 people like this
7 responses
@coferbox (298)
• United States
20 Jul 07
Honey, I'm so sorry things are going bad for you. There was a time in my life that it seemed like every time I almost got on my feet something or someone would knock me back down. I know how you feel. It will get better I promise. Just don't give up and everyday try to do something - no matter how small - to make your life better and help you reach your goals. Meanwhile count your blessings - your beautiful child and you have a roof over your head and food on your table; some people don't even have that much.
My own daughter is finishing college while caring for a baby. She is married but still it is not easy being primary caregiver for a 5 month old, keeping house and keeping grades up in college. I help her out as much as I can. What about your parents and extended family? Are they in the picture? Could they help you out a bit? What about child support from the child's father? You should be getting that. Hang in there and don't give up - you have made it this far and with only one year of college to go obviously you are not a quitter so don't let it get you down now.
2 people like this
@poppoppop111 (5731)
• Canada
20 Jul 07
my ex only pays child support when he feels like it and that's not often. it goes through a third party governemnt thing and i'm still not getting it. right now he is in arrears of 1000$. so that's not somthing i can depend on every month. my family and i arent' really close. my mother will help me once in a while though. i feel like i have so much to figure out. after having my daughter the summer after my second year of college i moves out of ottawa where they had the only course in the country of what i was taking (applied musuem studies) it was way to expensive to live in ottawa. now i'm an hour and a half away from the school, i made arrangements to take a few of my classes online for the third year. i've done that and now there is nothing else i can do from home, i have to go back to finish my lab and shop classes and a few more. but my car can't handle travelling that far every day and i have to figure out about moving closer maybe right outside of ottawa but i know i won't be able to really pay rent out there.
i'm just getting frustrated cause there are so many things i have to figure out. money, a place to live, and my daughter is allready settled in here and i don't want to move cause she is starting school in the fall and she is going to a french school that has a special program for english speaking kids going to a pure french school and i can't find that near ottawa and i really want her in this school. i'm just going to have to figure out what's going to be best for the both of us and our future
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
20 Jul 07
I'm sorry. It is brutal trying to raise a child on one income. It can be done tho. I was making 9.00 per hour and raising 4. Three are grown and moved out now. Low income housing rates are quite high. I am in low income and pay the top rate and it is difficult. Really careful spending and we get by. I don't expect to get ahead. do you get child support? don't give up!
2 people like this
@poppoppop111 (5731)
• Canada
20 Jul 07
i'm suposed to get child support. it's gone through the courts and he's suposed to pay 250$ a month. we even go through a third party government thing but he doesn't pay often. i'll get his gst checks and stuff directly from the government but that's only 90 every 3 months. he's so far arrears and he doesn't care that i can barely afford anything for our daughter.
1 person likes this
@sizzle3000 (3036)
• United States
5 Aug 07
You do not give up. Life is a struggle and everyone has ups and downs. Some more than other but still we survive. We may not like it but it is so.
My cousin was on welfare for a time. Her boyfriend did not give her any money at all to help raise their daughter. She felt like she could not get ahead. She had support from her mom, brother, and tons of cousins. I have helped her on occation too. She worked night jobs while her daughter lived with an Aunt during the week. She worked in a factory doing a job that caused damage to her body just to get my niece through hight school. My niece also got a job when she was sixteen to help out with finanaces. My niece is now nineteen. She has a full time job in a medical center doing appointments and billing. She has applied for loans to go to college to be a nurse. My cousin I am sorry to say is on disability because her job was just too much for her to actually handle. They still do not have a lot of money but they have love and believe me that is worth more than a million dollars.
You too will be ok. You have a lot going for you and the best thing of all is that little girl of yours. We all need a little help at some point in our lives.
@kayrod2 (1304)
• Australia
21 Jul 07
Things will hopefully get better for you. I hope so anyway. It doesnt seem fair when we struggle to try and make a better life for ourselves and our family, and dont seem to get ahead. I feel like i am in a similar situation at the moment. Things are hard, but i just try to keep going. It sounds like you are trying your best, so keep it up.
Best wishes to you, poppop
1 person likes this
@tuffy999 (794)
• Philippines
21 Jul 07
don't loose hope. try to enroll in distance learning program it will not take so much of your time from work and taking care of your baby. most of the time you will be doing the modules at home. good luck and keep your chin high you have a beautiful gift you baby as your inspiration.
1 person likes this
@pamcake (276)
• United States
20 Jul 07
I am starting to finally come up out of trying so hard, but continuously being pushed back down. You should look in to an online college, as the classes don't take too much time out of your schedule. You can talk to the financial aid advisors, and they will help you to get the loans to pay forschool, and also see if you are eledgible for additional loans. I hope everything works out for you. Just keep trying!
1 person likes this
@poppoppop111 (5731)
• Canada
21 Jul 07
i worry about taking an online college. some people i know went that route and they get turned away at jobs because their dagree isn't good enough from being done online or isn't legit.
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
20 Jul 07
Cheer up- You will make it somehow- Have you tried for financial aid? I know alot of times you can get help from the state and federal government for school- especially if you are a single parent- Check it out- Try to find a job- is there family that can help you out for now? perhaps move in with them until you are back on your feet?
