Putting it out there....please don't laugh

United States
July 20, 2007 7:57pm CST
Between drinks I've pretty much been cleaning out my office and drinking all day. I came across a bunch of stuff that I wrote years ago and one thing stood out. I didn't ever write poetry of any kind but was inspired to write a little ditty when I lived in a house that was clearly haunted. I can remember after one particulary spooky night sitting and writing this...it took all of about 2 minutes and I always kinda liked it but never shared...I'm gonna put it up here so please be kind... He stands in dark corners shying from light A cast out dead soul embracing the night A shadow man lost, in search of a home A spirit who's lost, condemned to wander and roam He takes a step forward to the foot of my bed I pray that I'm dreaming, his body is broken, withered and dead
2 people like this
11 responses
@wooitsmolly (3613)
• United States
21 Jul 07
It's creepy, but I like it.
• United States
21 Jul 07
thank you...creeped out is exactly how I felt when this stuff was happening...very scary times
• Ecuador
21 Jul 07
i don't see it creepy anyhow ____________________________
• Ecuador
21 Jul 07
yeah but in a real life not in a poem
• Canada
21 Jul 07
I admire you willingness to test the waters and I am glad you did. I think it is a great little diddy. You have captured in a few brief lines the essence of a spirit that is lost. Maybe you have more ideas hidden away and I'd encourage you to try again..and post again. I am a free lance writer and am always encouraging what I beleive is the 'hidden writer' in everyone. I have a notebook and voice recorder that goes everywhere with me. When I feel inspired I record my thoughts either way. So...good job...enjoyed your musings where ever they came from!
• United States
21 Jul 07
thanks...I've been writing for as long as I can remember but never any poetry. As far as I can remember it's the only one I've done...it just popped into my head the night that happened...very creepy night
@Jennifer21 (2476)
• United States
21 Jul 07
I really enjoy your poem, it wasn't creepy at all in my eyes. I sometimes feel like that myself. But then again, I am drunk, so anything i read is great. Now don't take me wrong, i am not saying I think it is good just because I am drunk, because that is far from the case. I really enjoyed it, that's all. Have a nice night partying it up like me, and have a drink on me!:D
• United States
21 Jul 07
topping off my guinness even as we speak...cheers
26 Jul 07
Ooh, that poem was spooky! Fantastically written, I love the construct of the stanzas. Well done you. I wish I could write poems.. you appear to be a man of many talents.. care to donate a talent to me? x
• United States
26 Jul 07
I'm passing along my uncanny, natural ability to lose hair
@totty1969 (1468)
• United States
21 Jul 07
Sounds like something Edger Allen Poe would write. I like it. Maybe even Ernest Hemmingway after a bottle of Scotch. Good job.
• United States
21 Jul 07
thnaks...I love Poe....nevermore
• United States
21 Jul 07
i dont see why anyone would laugh! i'm not a fan of poetry, but i really like it. :)
• United States
21 Jul 07
thank you
@Geminigirl (1909)
• United States
21 Jul 07
Its always cool to express yourself through stories and poetry. Don't ever be embarrassed to do so, it is a great creative outlet!
@vonne28th (1494)
• Philippines
25 Jul 07
You are a good poet. It sounds good.. may be you can write some more better poems when you are in a good mood..good luck!!
• Ecuador
21 Jul 07
NOT BAD inked just don't do it again LOL
• United States
21 Jul 07
this is a very powerful and fulfilling poem. i think you should enter it in a poetry contest online.
• United States
21 Jul 07
thanks for the response and the kind words
• United States
21 Jul 07
its kool