Do you always tell the truth,the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

@magnet (2087)
United States
July 22, 2007 10:27pm CST
Do you always tell the truth or do you tell white lies sometimes to spare hurt feelings or getting someone angry with you? What if someone ask you a question like why didn't you leave your children with me while you went out. Your real reason might be because I don't trust you alone with my children and you have your reasons. Or what if your friend asks you how she looks in an outfit that she's thinking about buying and you are really thinking I hate that outfit. Are you going to tell people how you really feel about things when they ask you or do you try to make it sound good by not telling what you really think. I like to be real with people but sometimes if it's someone like a Mother-in-law that you want to keep your peace with, I feel like it's better if I just say I didn't leave her with you because she's so attached. That's a lie. Is it wrong to do that or is it better to say because I don't trust you with my daughter because I don't trust you and I have my reasons.I feel so guilty when I don't tell the truth but at the same time the truth can cause conflicts.
3 people like this
8 responses
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
23 Jul 07
I do not believe that anyone on this earth tells the whole truth all the time, but we should strive to do the best we can to be honest.
2 people like this
@magnet (2087)
• United States
23 Jul 07
I try to be honest all the time, but there are certain people that I can't be completely honest with when they ask me something or they will get mad at me.
2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
23 Jul 07
Okay, I need to be completely honest with you. If there is someone in your life that you can not be completely honest with, then you don't need them in your life. If they get mad at you for your honesty, this is called manipulation and no one should stand for this. You can not give up your right to be honest for anyone. If you do, that is your choice and you can not blame anyone, but yourself.
1 person likes this
@magnet (2087)
• United States
23 Jul 07
Thanks, you are right I think that I should be able to be completely honest with a person if they ask me my opinion or question me about my motives. I agree with you about not needing someone in my life that I can't be completely honest with. As far as a Mother-in-law it's hard to avoid but not that hard because we live at a distance and I want to be a good daughter-in-law to her because I love my husband so I want to be nice to his mom. She asks me questions sometimes and when I tell her the truth she gets mad at anyone who does not agree with her. Most of the time I will tell her I don't know because I don't want to get into it with her.She has a history of nervous breakdowns,so I have to understand that she is not always thinking clearly. I just want to keep peace.Sometimes I will tell her how I feel about things because that's just me. I don't argue I just tell her like it is and leave it at that.
2 people like this
@derek_a (10897)
23 Jul 07
To the best of my ability I will tell the truth. If I didn't want to leave my children with somebody I didn't trust, I would have to say so. If I knew the person then I would know why I didn't trust them and would unlikely be friends with them anyway. If it was my mother-in-law, I would have to ask myself why I wouldn't trust her with her own grand-children. She looked after my wife OK as she grew up so why would I not trust her now? Would she hurt her own grand-children? If she would hurt them, then I would have to tell her, there's no way she's looking after them. If she spoiled them by giving them their own way - well that's what grandmothers do, and it is a part of family life. If there was food she would give them that would make them sick, I would have to lay the law down and tell her straight that if she gave them that food then she would never be trusted to look after them again. If my wife chooses a dress in a store that I think looks bad on her, I will tell her - same with my sister or friends. I would say it was only my opinion, but I could not lie and say it looks good when it doesn't. That wouldn't be fair on her if it didn't suit her and she went out in it.
1 person likes this
@magnet (2087)
• United States
23 Jul 07
I believe that she truely loves her Grandchildren,but I don't really feel comfortable leaving them along with her for an extended time. I would like to be able to trust her but I have not told her why I don't trust her because I want to keep peace. I think eventually I'm going to have to tell her the truth so that she will stop asking me why not leave them with her for a week. My reasons are that she does not establish a bedtime for the children. She will stay up all night long and the kids can stay up all night until they fall out in the floor. I think that's rediculous. She also has had nervous breakdowns in the past and I am afraid that she might have an episode when I'm gone. She does not cook nutritious meals she feeds her other grandchildren junk food all the time and I am particular about things like that. My husband trusts her because it's his Mom and I want to be able to trust her too but I don't although she means well in her own way. As far as my friends I tell them the truth about things. I feel comfortable telling them my real opinion. I just have one friend who think she's always right and I can't really be real with her because she gets upset when I disagree with her.
2 people like this
@derek_a (10897)
23 Jul 07
Yes, it appears that you need to tell you mother-in-law what you feel, as you say it wouldn't be right for her to have an episode when she supposed to be looking after you children. I never give advice on friendships, but I can share that I had a similar friend who stopped being my friend by I asserted my reality and he walked away and that's the last contact I had with him. I could see the anger well up because I wouldn't agree with his opinion. I feel friendship is about accepting each other's reality, not "screaming" because I would not swallow his. :-)
1 person likes this
@mrsbrian (1951)
• United States
23 Jul 07
I dont sugarcoat anything,lieing only leads to more lies. if you dont want your mother-in-law to babysit tell her upfront why, its yourchild and you are responsile for what happens to her, she may get mad but she will get over it. I think of it like this if someone lied to me and I found out, what else are they lieing to me about.
1 person likes this
@magnet (2087)
• United States
23 Jul 07
I know what you are saying. I'm just trying to avoid conflicts since it's family. I don't have to see her but a couple of times a year so I really want to be able to get along with her and I don't want my children to see their grandma get all upset.
1 person likes this
@Nardz13 (5059)
• New Zealand
23 Jul 07
Hi there. I have no problem with giving people truthful answers... I believe in speaking my mind and being up front about everything, and also expect friends, family and people in general to give me honest and upfront answers... My family and friends know me as being just that and they respect and accept me for the way I am... I have a grandma who is exactly the same and often I will hear my family say, that I take after her, with speaking my mind, being straight up and honest...
1 person likes this
@magnet (2087)
• United States
23 Jul 07
I think that it's good to be able to speak your mind and give upfront answers.
1 person likes this
• India
23 Jul 07
no no no ..... i don't . well i guess every has to tell lies at least once . every marketing company tells a huge amount of lie , and when you are a part of it , you automatically tend to tel a lie , for me it depends upon the situation . not that i tell a lie each and every time . about the outfit , magnet , i usually tend to tell a lie , hehe , i don't know why , but i guess its just that i want to be safe , you see , i guess most of the people here would agree with me in this case . but i try to tell the truth . but sometimes , a lie can help you and the others also out of trouble , it can also be for a good cause . as i mentioned earlier . if it is for a good cause then it is fine . at least with me .
1 person likes this
@magnet (2087)
• United States
23 Jul 07
Well when I was in school I use to work in a retail store and I use to get commissions for every sale. My customers use to always ask me how something looked on them. Some would say do I look fat in this. I would not just say yeah you look fat in this outfit. I would say that outfit really does not bring out your good qualities and then I would show them an outfit that would make the good qualities stand out. Some of my customers really needed good true advice. I did not want them leaving the store wearing something looking crazy and say I said that looked good. My goal was to see to it that everyone walked out that store looking their best.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13891)
• United States
24 Jul 07
i think there is a way to be totally honest without hurting someones feelings. but what i have learned in my money years here in the world is, i am not response how others take my honesty as long as i am always being honest. i really don't like to sugar coat things, because then that is not totally truth
• United States
23 Jul 07
I have to confess I tend to tell un-conventional lies to cover up peoples feelings. most of the time I tell the truth but If I know it will hurt you I tend to go around the truth so that that person doesn't feel bad and I know thats only hurting them and me in the end but its truly a bad habit
1 person likes this
@Lydia1901 (16353)
• United States
26 Jul 07
Well, there are days when I feel like telling the truth all the way and some other times, I like to keep so much to myself or withhold information.