things that moms say

Tweet

You just never hear kid-free adults say such things, which I think further proves that pets are NOT like kids. How many sound familiar to you? At Christmastime: Don't let the cat sit on Baby Jesus' face! I promise! Santa will not get stuck in the chimney. I think I hear a reindeer, too! At the dinner table: Did you wash first? With soap? Please don’t spear your meat like that and eat like it’s a lollipop. That is not a tiny tree. Now eat your broccoli. Thank you for showing us all what you are eating. We don't dip our cars in our ice cream. At bedtime: Did you brush your teeth? With toothpaste? Did you say 'good night' to your monkey? Now I lay me down to sleep…I said, lay down to sleep! In Church: No one wants to see you scoot around like you have ants in your pants. They didn’t quite hear you burp in the choir loft. No, we can’t go get a cheeseburger now. Let’s not see what kind of echo we can make. At the store: We all want something. I want a little peace and quiet, but I’m not getting that, am I? Please put your hands on your tummy; you can look all you want, but don’t touch! I guess good behavior isn’t on sale today, is it? In the car: Please keep your tongue off the window. (Okay, maybe this one.) Please don’t stuff French fries in the seat folds. No crayons up the nose, please! In the house on a rainy day: There will be no more touching anybody! Stop breathing on him. Stop looking at him. Around the house on a sunny day: Frogs don’t belong in hampers. Don’t even think of shaving the cat. Mud pies don’t need baking in my oven! In an elevator: The red button does not make us go faster. At the bank: Stop singing and dancing, it’s just a security camera. No they aren’t giving out samples. At the doctor’s office (to older child): Stop scaring the little kids. I don’t see why you can’t get a shot, too. While get the oil changed in the car: Yes, if the horn beeped now it would scare him. Where did your brother go? (Beep!) Regarding pets: Cats don’t need after dinner mints. Who put a t-shirt on the dog? Who gave the dog a haircut?! Conversation with self: Why do I even bother asking? I don’t know. When did I start talking to myself and hearing answers? About ten minutes after the first child started walking and talking. Oh. Thanks. You’re welcome. http://momtomomchat.com/jellymom/index.html