Was she joking?

@soccermom (3200)
United States
July 23, 2007 4:16pm CST
I have a 4 year old who is one of those "scary smart" kids, and lately I can't tell if she's joking or being serious. We were going grocery shopping last Friday night and she's in the backseat of the car, in her carseat, with the window rolled down. We pull up to a major intersection and this car pulls up next to us. It was a real junker, all rusty, missing a hubcap, in real bad shape. Out of nowhere my daughter starts yelling out the window "Hey! Ilike your car! Is it new? Did you just buy that today?" I was like "Why are you yelling?" and she just started laughing hysterically and didn't say another word about it! My hubby is pretty sure she was being sarcastic, and if that's the case I think we need to have a serious discussion about being nice to people with her. Problem is that you can't tell if she was being sarcastic or not, and if you ask her she looks at you all innocent and says "What? I liked the car." have any of your kids had this type of behavior? What do you do about it?
10 people like this
21 responses
• United States
23 Jul 07
Sarcastic or not don't you think that it was rude? Also, people are crazy nowadays. What if it was some person who is broke and very angry and decided to say something back or worse? You, and other people in our society should teach your children what is ok and what isn't. Don't expect them to learn it from peers as they get older or it will only get worse.
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
23 Jul 07
Yeah, I think it was rude. But on the other hand, she's 4. If this had been coming from a teenager it would've been different. That being said, this is where the problem lies. My daughter can be such a sweetheart, and this is why I'm having a hard time with this. I don't want to chastise her if it's not needed. She has thought all sorts of stuff is cool that most older kids and adults think isn't. My oldest daughter doesn't act like this, and they are being raised the same. I would never leave it up to anyone, other family members or peers, to teach my kids what is right and wrong.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jul 07
I'm sure she wasn't trying to be nasty but what if the people in the car thought you told her to say it? Or what if the next person is a crazy person or just got bad news and is waiting to be insulted so they can snap? You just never know these days. In a perfect world it wouldn't be so bad, but in our world it is somewhat rude and very dangerous. No offense to you in any way.
1 person likes this
@Aussies2007 (5339)
• Australia
25 Nov 07
The fact that she laughed after saying it... shows most definitely that she was mean and sarcastic. Half of the kids at school are meaner and more sarcastic than adults. Often... they only appear mean by simply telling the truth. Lets face it... as a 56 year old... I am having a very hard time to adapt to our new politically correct world. So for a kid... you have to teach her that telling the truth is not politically correct... nor is making fun of people. You have to teach her to lie and only tell people what they want to hear. You have to tell her that people will try to jail you for telling the truth... because in our new world... nobody can cope with the truth. It hurts too much.
• Australia
25 Nov 07
Also remember that at that age... it's monkey see... monkey do. You are not born sarcastic. She must have learned it from somewhere. If you or your husband are sarcastic for the fun of it... that is where she got it from. If that is the case... stop being sarcastic with her or in the front of her.
1 person likes this
@EvanHunter (4028)
• United States
24 Jul 07
I am glimpsing the future and I think you are gona have a wild one on your hands when she hits her teen years...lol. My oldest son was pretty smart mouthed when he was that age too and believe me he only got worse when he hit the teen years. kids say some crazy things.
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
24 Jul 07
Thanks Evan, I needed to hear that! LOL Seriously though, everyone in our family says this about her. You can just see it in her eyes, she's gonna be the one that misses curfew, TP's the neighbors, etc... Here's the lousy part. The kid is not spoiled, she gets punished plenty, she just doesn't care. A couple weeks ago I took all the toys out of her room I was so mad at her, nothing left but the bed and dresser, she was upset for the first hour, then told me she liked it because now there was more room in her room to dance. See what I'm dealing with here?
@barehugs (8985)
• Canada
24 Jul 07
Yes if she is indeed wise beyond her years, she is ready and eager to learn. Its difficult to talk to a 4 yr old as if she was 7 but you just have to begin serious discussions with her. You will know as you proceed if she is comprehending. Perhaps you can find some books that will interest her. Kids Love to be read to, and it will help her to understand about respect and the nicities of conversation with others. Good luck with that!
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
24 Jul 07
Good idea bare! I totally fprgot about the set of of books my oldest had at that age that subtley talked about little "life lessons". Guess it;s time to dig those out of the storage room.
• United States
23 Jul 07
Aw your daughter sounds adorable! I honestly don't think she did anything wrong, one of the most precious things a child has is honesty and innocence. They don't say sarcastic things to hurt anyone and I'm sure everyone knows that? My little cousin once drew a picture of me, and I had a small zit around my cheek and guess what - she drew it! LOL. I thought it was so funny, but my aunt scolded her for it and I couldn't understand why. Don't take her natural charm away from her - she's much too young. The world and those around her will do that eventually as she grows up and becomes conscious of herself and her actions and what she says. She sounds so cute, enjoy her innocence and honesty while it lasts, I'd say! :)
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
24 Jul 07
I totally agree with you! I think she was just being honest. My little nephew is just the same and he's only 3 years old. My sister used to be that way too when she was around that age. She didn't grow up to be rude or sarcastic at all! In fact, she's the most polite and thoughtful person I know. That being said, I don't think your daughter did anything wrong. She's just 4 years old. I agree with what MelodyRhapsodical has said! :)
1 person likes this
@KrisNY (7591)
• United States
25 Jul 07
Wow—a 4 year old that is sarcastic- or yelling to the car next to you- Too funny- If you ask her and she plays innocent- I’d wait until the next time something like that happens. Perhaps she really liked the car- But I’d tell her it isn’t nice to yell at the vehicles around her—you know “stranger danger”- then maybe she won’t do that anymore- I hope you don’t already have a sarcastic kid- at 4--- I can’t imagine her in her teens : ) good luck!
• United States
24 Jul 07
I would have laughed myself silly but I would have explained to her some people might not have liked what she said and could have gotten really angry and mean with her.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 07
I would have laughed myself silly but I would have explained to her some people might not have liked what she said and could have gotten really angry and mean with her.
1 person likes this
@jchampany (1131)
• United States
24 Jul 07
That is so funny. I was sitting here trying to picture my kids doing something like that. My son never did anything like that but I could definitely see my daughter doing it. Sheis only 2 right now. I don't know how I would deal with that. Probably have a talk with her after I hide from her to laugh. Let us know if you have a discussion with her.
• United States
24 Jul 07
I think your little one sounds like she has a great sense of humor. Is she in preschool yet? If so I would ask her teacher if she ever acts sarcastic at school. I agree with you that I would have a chat with her about yelling out the window to strangers. These days you have to be careful. But other than that, I would just enjoy her funny personality. My 4 year old will nbrely look at a stranger let alone talk to one.LOL.
1 person likes this
• Canada
24 Jul 07
I've got two of those. It took a lot of time and patience to explain to them that what goes 'round comes 'round. I sat each kid down individually for a heart to heart and told them that a person's feelings should be respected. You may not know the person, his situation, his way of life, his joys, sorrows, how he lives. Your daughter may not realize she is being sarcastic, but then again, it doesn't matter if she does or not, because the behaviour is. A similar situation to yours came up when my son was around four, and I timed it so our talk was during a quiet Mommy-Son time, and I used his favourite coping behaviour (thumbsucking) as an example of how people comfort themselves when they are stressed out. His teacher told me that he made a girl in his JK class cry. So I sat him down: Your classmates can make fun of you and you won't like that, so if one of the other kids brings her ragged Teddy to kindergarten class you don't make fun of her and call her a big baby! Her Teddy makes her feel good, like your sucking your thumb makes you feel good. Do you want people to laugh at you for sucking your thumb and call you a big baby? He got it. Sarcasm is a learned behaviour, and unfortunately, cartoons are replete with it and kids think it is ok. It is up to us parents to show it up for what it is-- nasty and hurtful words that have no place in a nice and caring kid's behaviour. Good luck, SM, sounds like you're in for a lot of behaviour modification sessions with your girl. :-D
• United States
24 Jul 07
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! OMG! i'm sorry, i don't mean to laugh, but that is HYSTARICAL! That is SO something i would do if i was in a pissy mood. Teehee! i am SUCH a b*tch! i highly doubt your daughter was serious. She was being sarcastic and having fun with this person. The fact that she started laughing hysterically after you asked her about her yelling is proof enough alone. Besides, who in their right mind would like the junker? Nobody. i don't think your daughter is insane. Just a meanie! lol
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 07
My brother was one of those "scary smart" children, and if it were not for me he would have really made life Hell for everyone. You have to talk to her about how to be nice and polite to people and you have to show her how to do it because children do what their parents do. If you do something, she will pick up on that. It's like that line in "Meet The Fockers", "Children are like sponges. They absorb everything." It is true. Children are just like sponges.
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3804)
• United States
24 Jul 07
Like my mom told me. When your child says a dirty word, that child isn't to blame. The person she learned it from is to blame, for that person should be careful of what they say around that child. Your husband should be the one that gets the scolding. Make your daughter is there to see you scold him on his sarcastic and she will see that its wrong. Before hand, tell your husband to take the scolding like a man, because your tired of your sarcastic 4 year old. Also yelling out the window like that, is rude, she needs to know she can't do that. Her looking at you all innocent and cute is her way of trying to play you, might want to work on this before it gets worse. Good Luck.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 07
That is kind of strange but i dont think its anything to worry about.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jul 07
i would just hit her nahhhhh jk lol i think its a phase with children but still you have got to talk to them so they dont carry that annoying habit on when they become older
1 person likes this
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
23 Jul 07
That is really funny!! From another mom of a girl with an attitude like that just tell her that it wasn't nice to talk to people like that. Because it is hard to get onto her when she acts all innocent like that! So just let her know that she might hurt their feelings by acting like that to other people! That is just too funny!!!
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42681)
• United States
23 Jul 07
LOL how funn am still laughing and 4 years old huh. boy I see what I have to look forward too when granddaughter gets that old for she says so much now I dont know what I would do whenshe hollers at other cars and poeple. Shrug shoulders and say kids for ya. ?
1 person likes this
@gmakesmoney (2923)
• United States
23 Jul 07
I don't have kids but I used to take care of my little cousin during the week until she got too old for a nanny. She was the exact same way, and oddly enough it was at about that age. She would pull the innocent face too but the majority of the time she was being a little meanie. It wasn't hard to figure where she got it from, her dad hardly ever spoke a word that wasn't sarcastic and of course she was around when they'd watch met for grown-ups tv shows like sienfeld or the simpsons, ect. It took a while to get her to stop, bacially I did a role reversal and gave her a taste of her own medicine for a week. She learned it didn't feel so nice. She's still got a mouth on her these days but she's more careful of other's feelings. Good luck!
@Hatley (164266)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Jul 08
soccermom maybe she really did like the car, at four years isnt she a bit early to even know about sarcasm? unless she has heard a lot of it from her parents or other famiuly members I doubt if she is really serious, bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb