when an ex is often on your mind...

I think it is quite natural when things are tough in your current relationship to be sentimental about the past. Beware of rose tinted glasses. Things couldn't have been all good in your previous relationship otherwise it wouldn't have ended. You obviously are having doubts about going back to your previous boyfriend. Therefore my advice, for what it is worth would be to focus on what went wrong in your previous relationship and what attracted you to your current boyfriend in the first place. If these thoughts are not enough then perhaps you should end it with your current boyfriend and try again with your previous fella. Only you can know.

be tough

I'm trying to analyze your current status and the reason of your break up with your ex. 1) There reason you broke up with the ex is because of the long distance relationship. Your not comfortable with that. I just hope there are other reasons beside this if not i would say you did have a pretty good relationship with the ex and the distance was the only problem. 2) Your current relationship is at a standstill. You had done your part to mend the relationship but got tired of doing this. So you let 2 week to go on without any communication and it lessen some of the hurt when you did that. May we know the reason your relationship is at a standsill? A lot of people are giving advice not knowing the reason. Maybe we could give a proper advise if we know whats going on. Does your current bf even deserve your love? That i will never know until you give us a little bit of info. But its up to you if you want to share it. Its just too hard for me to comprehend that a guy who supposedly love you could resist not talking to you for two weeks. And the problem in your relationship has started beyond that.

I have two exes that are constanly on my mind but not in the way of me wanting to get back with them. One I stay in contact with and he is a great friend. We just found each other on myspace after 12 years of not talking. The other one is someone that I think of often too but haven't talked to in about 7 years. I care for them both deeply but that is it. I just want to make sure that they are happy in life and enjoying it. I don't think I would take either one of them back if I had the choice. Just knowing that they are happy is all I ever wanted.

It's been eight months since the "love" of my life dumped me and I am still thinking about him. It is hard. But in retrospect, it has opened me up to find real love.

I think the reason your ex is always on your mind now is because of your dissatisfaction with your current boyfriend. Sometimes, when we're unhappy and disgrantled we tend to find solace in our past. This is the state we are most vulnerable, so look deep in yourself. Do you really want to go back to your ex or is it just because you're lonely that you cling on to the memories of the past? If you're so unhappy with your current boyfriend, why hold on to it when you said that you've tried so hard to workout and yet it's still not working?

I understand how you feel..however you are right...you have to either try to work on the relationship or end it altogether..before entertaining any other thoughts. I think it is natural to think about an ex when you are fighting with your partner...you are looking for something different and you think your ex could be that...but be careful...remember why he was an ex in the first place....?

Perhaps you still have feelings. Or, you are not occupied with someone or something that is satisfying. Give it some time, see what happens. Maybe you and your ex need to chat and see if things can work out. Or, you need a closure on it more. Good luck.

You will not get things worked out overnight. Take your time and be true to yourself. Do not expect things to be easy. These things take time. I am going through a lot of the same thing right now and it is hard except I am married. My husband and I are working on things, but it will not be a quick fix.

I think its only natural to have feelings or think of your ex when your current situation is not going well. I do at times when my husband gets me all riled up. I think we will always have feelings for our ex's and those feelings will always remain with us. I made the mistake of going back to him once but only to find out he had not changed and it made me realised that it was time to move on. It sounds like that all hope is not lost in your current situation and I would probably try to find out why all of a sudden you both have grown apart and why there is no communication between you both for two weeks. Is his job taking him away from you? have you tried calling him to find out if anything is wrong? You need to find out what has caused this and then go from there. If he indicates that he is too busy for you then maybe you need to start reevaluating where you stand in your relationship. Deal with your current situation first and if all is not lost, then go from there. Don't get involved with your ex because you are missing him and because things are not going well in your current situation. It may cause further complications.

Of course this would happen when you are at a bad point with your current boyfriend. Temptation always acts like that. You don't say what exactly is causing the problem with the current one, but it probably isn't because of the old one - unless he's just the jealous type & throws old boyfriends at you when you have a fight & then its best just to dump the jerk. Anyway.... You best bet is to talk to the current boyfriend before you talk to the old one any more. Do you see this relationship going forward/working out? Has this kind of thing happened before - with either the current or former boyfriends? Either way, you need to find out if the current boyfriend is willing to work on the relationship or is he one of those that isn't willing to do the work to fix the issue. At that point then you need to tell the former guy what is going to happen. If you are going to stay with the current guy then you need to tell the old one that, while you care for him, you need to work on the current relationship. If you decide that the current one isn't going to work, then you need to decide if the former one is not going to leave again. I've been told by women that it takes a while to recover from a failed relationship. That you should stop dating all together for a bit & rediscover who YOU are. Figure out why you keep going for guys that aren't working out. Is it something you are doing, or are you going for guys that are going to hurt you? I fell hard for a guy, but shortly after getting to know him discovered that he has a commitment problem. I talked to myself (& a few others) about how much I should "invest" in this relationship. I finally asked him how much he was willing to invest. Figure out how much the guys are investing in the relationship. It should be as much emtional investment as you are. And remember, a LOT of guys are only lipservicing relationships to get into bed with a gal, so respect yourself enough to not go falling into bed with a guy until you see some real progress in the relationship.

It only means one thing, you are still affected and you still love him. Maybe not as intense as before but love doesn't fade in an instant. When two people parted their ways and they have so much great memories it deeply hurts. But time would help heal the wounds in your heart. Not fast maybe but it surely will heal in time. Lots of people will walk in and out in our lives. And everyone of them leaves footprints that your heart will always remember regardless if its good or bad ones. But its part of the spices of our life. And I'm sure the pain you're feeling now , you will be thankful from it someday for that will help you more stronger and it will help you to control different emotions and makes you a more better person than you are now...

Did you end on a decent level with your ex? Or was it horribly bad? I'd imagine that a/ if you haven't spoken to your current boyfriend in 2 weeks it's probably over. and 2/ maybe you are thinking about your old boyfriend because he was sweeter to you and treated you better. maybe you're lonely and since there's not anything good going on with your current boyfriend you're just imagining love with anyone and the ex is conveniently there in your mind. I mean, I have dreams about my ex. We didn't end on good terms... and I work with him still so that's why I figure he's still on my mind. I don't think it means anything because I'd never go back with him.

I think that when things are not going well in a current relationship, we drift back to times that we remember maybe were better with a former relationship. I think we forget why exactly we are no longer with that person. We have moved on and tend to forget just how bad things were. I do know of cases that one can go back and revive a relationship from the past. Maybe you still have feelings for this guy?

be tough... do not let your emotions overcome you...

Old is Gold, first love is the best love.