The rights to Our Opinions, and too grieve

Canada
July 26, 2007 12:28am CST
I just can't believe how mean and cruel people can be but I guess there is people like that out there...I do believe people have the right to their own opinion but I do not however think that people that think they know your situation and completly go off the handle that is way far off from your topic are in the wrong... I just lost my daughter 2 months ago so I'm going to take offense to people being rude and cruel...especially when it's on the topic of my daughter... Who are these people to say seek counseling...or accusing me of making up a story just to talk on MyLot...It just happened two months ago I still cry for my daughter on a daily basis and didn't need that cruel feed back for any that want to know my daughter that died is the picture in my pics that has red roses beside it...I did not make her up
8 people like this
10 responses
@gabs8513 (48712)
• United Kingdom
26 Jul 07
Sweetheart ignore the Person please even better do not even respond to this Person as the more we do the more this Person will have a go There are evil People on here and I have been attacked believe me and a lot of my other Friends to so just ignore this Person Sweetie as we will be behind you all the way and support you against this Person Big Hugs to you
4 people like this
• Canada
26 Jul 07
I have asked her to leave me alone and so far she has...and thank you so much for your support and friendship..I have not answered her back in awhile and iggied alot of her responses....
4 people like this
@gabs8513 (48712)
• United Kingdom
26 Jul 07
Well I hope she leaves you alone for good now and just keep ignoring her if she comes back at you as she will get fed up then Hugs
3 people like this
• Canada
26 Jul 07
so far so good I do hope you are right that she will just stay away from my topics period...I am planning on having a good day on MyLot
3 people like this
• United States
26 Jul 07
I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the pain you must be suffering. Just ignore these unfeeling people. They are making a very bad karma for themselves and I have witness that what goes around comes around.
3 people like this
• Canada
26 Jul 07
thank you so much...I have heard that old saying as well...hugzzzz to you
1 person likes this
@herrbaggs (1308)
• United States
27 Jul 07
Oh come on whiteheather you have been on mylot almost as long as me and you have seen these sob stories come and go. Its just a sorid way to get alot of responses. People with real grief don't blather it on a public website. When I hear these stories of profound tradegy so many times I now hold them in pure contempt. This person has no intention of backing off or sofening her tale which make it smack of pure fabrication. You are still my favorite discussion starter, keep up the good work, it keeps me on my toes.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jul 07
Herrbaggs you are correct and I have seen many such discussions. It's the one about pets that tees me off and usually do not respond to them. This is the first discussion from BlueAngel I have responded to and my comment to the crazy lady is because she has been stalking BlueAngel. The crazy lady is entitled to her opinion the same as anone else BUT has responded to each and EVERY one of BlueAnegl's discussions harshly so it is the stalking aspect and cruel manner of her responses that I object to. BlueAngel has politely requested the crazy lady to leave her alone but she very clearly refuses to do so.
3 people like this
@Calais (10899)
• Australia
26 Jul 07
OMG !!! What heartless sadistic people can be....How dare they...Surely they are not so niave to understand what you are going through.... I am deeply sorry for you loss and you grieve how ever you want to, dont be bullied by these a$$holes..Be strong and just know that you are better than these people...
2 people like this
• Canada
26 Jul 07
Thank you for that I guess there is just unhappy people in the world...And one happened to find me to take whatever they were going through out on me...Thank you so much for your love and support over my loss...I have met some wonderful people here...It being my second day...I'm not going to let one experience run me off...
1 person likes this
@Calais (10899)
• Australia
26 Jul 07
No, dont let them get to you....It can be quite great here and you make some wonderful friends, but unfortuntely you do come across a$$holes...
2 people like this
• Canada
26 Jul 07
that is so very true and not only it seems on chat forums but also in everyday daily life...I'm hanging in there thanks for the support...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Jul 07
I do believe that here on mylot, we are entitled to our own opinion and we have the right to express ourselves. But it was indeed very disappointing to see that there are people abusing this right. Believe me, worse things had happened to me when I was just a beginner but I just ignored everything and if i really think that person has offended me too much, I will send him a private message (if he is on my friends' list) to tell him how I feel. I had encountered this problem only once but after sending a private note to that person, he stopped bothering me. I wasnt offended by his opinions no matter how harsh they have been because I respect everyone's opinion here but what I didnt like about him is when he had started a discussion about me and I didnt know what I did. It's just that he is not in favor of the topic I started about appreciating my Indian friends. He has something against Indians and he was so skeptic about the topic I started. But I personally agree that it is not right to hit the topic starter. Sorry for what you had experienced but we cannot deny the fact that sometimes, these things happen here on mylot. Let us just enjoy the concept of program.
2 people like this
• Philippines
27 Jul 07
Well I had learned something in life about mylot. This is a great community of we want to know about other people's opinion because many comments will rise in an instance. But when you need serious advice, oh my. You would truly be shocked at how some people would react. I suggest you write to online counselors who do not charge anything. They can tell you what to do in a way that would be considerate. Anyway, I truly believe that out of 100% people here on mylot, 90% are nice. You will find these nice people little by little as days go by.
2 people like this
• Canada
27 Jul 07
yes I agree totally...I feel I do not need counseling as talking to people that have been through it..I go to another website as well has been very helpful...I will eventually go if I feel I'm stuck in a whirlwind in my grief process for sure...thanks for the advice and yes I've only been here 3 days now and have already found some wonderful people
1 person likes this
@TiffanieC (827)
• United States
26 Jul 07
Oh god I'm so sorry. People can be cruel! BTW.. I don't think that seeking counseling is a horrible idea but that is not meant in any negative kind of way. I too have lost a baby only it was much earlier then you so I can't imagine your loss, I really can't! My babys heart stopped beating at the end of my first trimester and I had to have surgery too. I also had another miscarriage but it didn't have the same effect as the other. The first, I had time to grow very attached and have wishes and hopes and dreams. I have not yet looked at the pic of your daughter but I will. I am sure she is beautiful! BTW!!!!! People are going to say some really mean things that they think will help. Some will have super good intentions but the stuff that comes out of their mouth.. you'll be thinking.."uhh, and this is supposed to help, you moron????"! But try to remember they really don't know what to say and feel helpless and really do want to help you. Of course there are others too that just don't give a crap and think you should just go back to your normal self like nothing has happened. You and your family are in my prayers during this difficult time. You'll get angry (as I'm sure you already know) and want to scream and not know what to do with yourself.. please come vent if you need to! You can send me a message anytime! I know you prob can't see the light at the end of the tunnel right now but keep on.. your love for your daughter will NEVER fade but I promise in time things will get a little easier. To anyone who EVER asks you if you are "over it" yet or anything to that nature... just tell them to screw off! HUGS!
2 people like this
• Canada
26 Jul 07
Yes people can most definatly be cruel and I'm sorry to hear of your loss...I am still in the grieving period..I am not putting a time limit or expectation to it I know it takes different people different times..I have been told that there is a light at the end of the tunnel like you said and believe me I'm doing the best I can to reach for it...I felt at peace the day we barried her although all the other emotions are still in play...That was exactly a week after the surgery that I was very week from physically...Thank you for your support and kind words and a BIG HUGE hugssss back to you
2 people like this
• United States
26 Jul 07
The day you buried your little girl must have still been so difficult even though you felt at peace. Don't even worry about that light at the end of the tunnel right now, just know that it is there. Everyone deals with things differently and it could be 6 months or 6 years before you see that light but I pray for you that it's sooner rather then later. I put things off and did not deal with them because I didn't really have anyone to help me through it.. well meaning friends and family sometimes just made things worse. Just know there are many people around who understand what you are going through and that you don't need to feel alone!!
2 people like this
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
30 Jul 07
Hi BlueAngelIRS! I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. I hope you can at least find solace that she is in a better place called Heaven and the angels are playing with her and keeping her company. I know how it feels to lose someone you truly love and deeply cared because lost my dear mother, you can never forget the pain but soon you will know how to deal with it. I know people can be so insensitive sometimes and would provoke you by saying rude comments, but there are still a lot who cares. I will be praying for you and I hope you'll find some peace in your heart despite of your pain.
2 people like this
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
31 Jul 07
Hi BlueAngel! It's ok to want her back. You love her so much and I know if you could just give your life in exchange for hers, you would. I will always be here praying for you and your little angel. We will meet all our love ones who went ahead of us one day, in the meantime, do take care of yourself. God Bless you dear!
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30997)
• United States
26 Jul 07
Speaking ones thoughts and just plain being rude and hurtful are two different things. One can have an opposing veiwpoint without being just plain cruel. Anyone that shows anything short of sympathy and understanding to someone grieving the loss of a child is just ignorant. You are not wrong in being here telling your story at all. In fact i would imagine it would (or should) be quite therapeutic for you as well as some others who have had a similar experience. I had a miscarriage and it was not nearly as traumatic as what you have gone thru but I did find comfort in talking to others who had gone thru something similar. You are not in the wrong here....not at all. Hugs!
2 people like this
• Canada
26 Jul 07
thank you so much for that sweety and yes that was my thought exactly when I joined MyLot...I actually and on another chat forum that has a section on miscarriage and stillbirth and I have found it quite helpful my best friend of 15 years told me about MyLot before I found this other sight...It has been very helpful so far to talk to others that have gone through it and lend an ear and shoulder per say and is very much a healing experience for me..I'm so sorry to hear of your loss as well sid hugzzzz back to you
1 person likes this
• Canada
26 Jul 07
If that were the case crazy and it were that black and white that Blue just didn't like that you didn't agree with her then why have SOOOOO many other people ALL agreed that you are being very rude, disrespectful, mean, and abusive? I guess WE are the ones with the problem and your the perfect one right? And if thats the case then who really needs the professional help?
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
27 Jul 07
Oh Im so sorry for you losing your daughter. How terrible for you. I read what a couple of people said to you and they are right. Pay no attention to this person. I dont know her but I think she has been aggravating alot of people here. Everyone will have your back not to worry. Me included. I hope your feeling better about this. You will really enjoy here. Hugs to you I know to look at for her!LOL
• Canada
28 Jul 07
thank you so very much about the loss of my daughter...yes it was terrible but it is getting better one day at a time...I have also had some great feed back on my topic of her and have had great support...that is sweet you have my back consider it a two way..hugzz to you as well
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (51193)
• United States
26 Jul 07
I'm so sorry. At a time liket his, all the negativity and accusation is sorely out of place. Sure people on Mylot make up stories, but it is usually of a different nature. And it is obvious that you are having real pain for your gone, but not forgotten baby. Just know there are those of us who pray for you and wish you the absolute best. We care!
• United States
26 Jul 07
Some are very cruel people, who have nothing better to do than to make other people's lives more miserable. You have the right to post about your daughter if you so chose to do so. We all grieve differently, just as we will talk about it differently when something is bothering us. Just do your best to ignore those who wish to cause you more grief. There are many others who will still listen.
• Canada
26 Jul 07
You are so very right jewel..I got a wonderful book in memory on my daughter has scriptures about God and Jesus and a section on grieving and it says in there every person is their own individual it takes some people longer then others to learn to comes to peace with a terrible loss...thank you so much for being a good friend and I do hope there are some topics I can offer my support and be there for you as well big hugzzz to you
1 person likes this