We are going to work this out
@petermason2000 (238)
United States
July 26, 2007 11:03am CST
It is taking me a long time to wake up today. I drank more than I have in a long time last night. I wasn't "sh1tty", but I was very buzzed and relaxed. I needed that, because I had been very tense and angry. We talked again this morning, and we will continue to talk and work this out. I said that love is more than a feeling, love is a verb. It is something you do. So, we need to start doing loving things for each other. As we do this, things should get better every day.
I have never had a reason to not trust her before. That is why I became so upset. I need to start to trust her again, like I did before.
This wasn't something she planned to do. And, like I said, I believe her when she says nothing physical ever happened. Quite frankly, we are both so busy that there is no time in our lives for anything extra.
So, we move forward from here. One day at a time. In our vows, we said "for better or for worse." Well, this is the "worse" part. We are still in this together. Now we just hsve to make it better.
1 person likes this
1 response
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
28 Jul 07
Yeah, I read in one of your topics that you've been having a hard time these days with your relationship with your wife. It's good that both are cooperating to keep the relationship and work things out.
I have the same experience a few months ago. I was so hurt that I was really angry at my partner. But I really do love him still, there are weaknesses in our lives that sometimes leads us to doing something that we unintentionally hurt the ones we love. So yeah, we did work things out, everything is quite better, but of course the 'trust' factor isn't easily healed.
Just do your best, and open up more to your wife.
Good luck to you and your family.
God bless your relationship.
=)
@petermason2000 (238)
• United States
28 Jul 07
I worry whether the trust will ever fully return. I know that it is up to me do decide to trust her. When we talk about this, she still defends herself and makes it a competition as to who was right, who was wrong, or who was more right or more wrong. I tried to tell her that this isn't a competition. We just need to talk out our feelings, acknowledge each other's feelings without qualifying them. When we talked today, I shared some feelings with her and instead of trying to understand what I was feeling, she just tried to defend herself and tell me I was wrong. I really hope she can turn the corner on this, or I am afraid we might be in trouble.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
28 Jul 07
The next time around, let her talk first. Let her shed out all her hurts, and you listen.
Maybe she has some hurts too that's why she defends herself too much.
Trust will not be repaired easily, but it will, over time.
Just do your best, and listen more. So that she'll know how to listen too.
=)
