I want to have a child but I am scared of loosing myself

France
July 28, 2007 9:26am CST
I've always wanted to have children, having a big familly was my dream. Now I am 33, I got married last year, and I am afraid I waited too long. I feel scared of starting my family, for selfish reasons like: will I be able to sleep (I am a heavy sleeper), or will I have some time for me. My husband is adorable, but he is really like a child sometimes so I feel I will have two children in fact. And where will I be then? I never had thoses thoughts before... I am a very maternal person, but I enjoy coming back home with me and my husband alone... Have you ever felt like this?
2 people like this
2 responses
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
28 Jul 07
I got lucky on this one in that I found out I was pregnant right after I said "Maybe in a few years I'll have a baby"... so I didn't have time to worry about it really. I worried about the sleep thing too, but my son started sleeping through the night very early, so that wasn't too big an issue. And while it is hard to sketch in time to be with my husband alone, I can't imagine what life would be like without my son now. He's 14 months old, and everything he does is just amazing, he's learning so many new things every day. And here I was one of those people who said I was never going to have kids... and had just got around to "maybe in a couple of years" when I wound up pregnant. =P
1 person likes this
• France
28 Jul 07
That's nice to hear! But I have no risk of getting pregnant "by chance"... So it really needs to be a decision from my husband and me and maybe this adds to the scary part...
2 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
2 Aug 07
I suppose your situation is different from mine, in that case. I do think that a lot of people have that fear of losing themselves or having no life after having a baby, but even though there was a time when I thought I never wanted a child at all, I have found my son to be a great joy to me. And while I do find myself going out less than I used to, I also find myself having more fun in other ways.
• United Arab Emirates
29 Jul 07
Don't be scared about such a lovely thing. I have a 2 yr old son. I forget myself when i am with him (I am always with him :) ) I feel happiest when we all are together. Now you have to decide. After few more years you will really feel the need of children. Then I don't know if your health permits. So, sooner the better. It's a really beautiful idea to have kids at home. They fill our lives with happiness. It's from my experience. Talk to your husband and plan accordingly. Live happily.