do you think it is ok for the man to stay home and the woman work
@easymoney75503 (1702)
United States
July 28, 2007 8:13pm CST
i have noticed that this is the case more and more now. i have to admit hubby stays home and i work but hubby broke his back a few years ago and to be honest he home schools the kids. he is better at doing that then me at the ages they are. they are into stuff now that i didnt do in school. i only got to go to school about 1 time every 2 weeks or so once i hit the 8th grade. i mean i am not stupid i went back and got my ged but he is so much better at it then me. he still rembers it all too. lol me i have to go learn it again alot of times lol. like history anyways. i have noticed that more and more it is the guy that stays home. i dont know why for everyone but i was wondering what your thoughts were on that. i mean so many still believe that the man should be the supporter. we fought for women rights so there fore we wanted to work and be a provider so why is it then alot of people still look down on the guy.
6 people like this
27 responses
@marty3888 (2355)
• Acme, Michigan
29 Jul 07
If it works without any ego problems as far as the guy is concened and if the woman dosn't grow to resent it. Often however, that is not the case. Also, like in your case, the guy can't take advantage of it or there will be trouble. I know my girlfriend would very much resent having to go to work and me stay home but we don't have any kids I need to homeschool or watch. I think these days you need 2 incomes unless one makes alot of money. (upwards of $60,000 a year.) But if a couple can make it work, I see nothing wrong with it.
1 person likes this
@yahtzee2222 (10)
• United States
30 Jul 07
you know you said that the woman may resent the man staying home,well i just quit my job of two years and have been home a week now and i think my husband resents the fact that i am home . he would rather be the one who got to stay home , with his type of work sometimes work is slow sometimes there is none he has gone as long as four months without work and he still resents it when i get to stay home for a week got any suggestions how to handle this deli ma i think he is being unfair and needs to get off my back about finding another job ,it's only been a week, he expects me to go get any job and if he gets to choose to have a job where he works for himself and can stay home when he wants and sometimes goes periods of time without work than he has no right to say anything to me.
@avonrep1 (1862)
• United States
29 Jul 07
easymoney75503, I think it is cool. I have 3 friend's who are stay at home dads. One of the guy's is married to a solider. The other guy like your husband had broke his back, and the last one is a hippie who believes in homeschooling from birth, so for the last 5 years or so he too has been a stay at home dad.
Being a stay at home dad or mom is hard work, mix in that you are homeschooling and it makes it even harder. I know, because I too homeschool my children. I am a stay at home mom who works from home, for myself. I don't care if I make alot of money or anything. What I care more about is making sure my children are learning everything they possibly need to learn for their adult lives.
I think it is cool that your husband, is doing this. Let him know he has supporters out there. Being a stay at home dad, is awesome.
1 person likes this
@mmorgan100 (66)
• United States
29 Jul 07
I totally agree. Society can't have it both ways. If women are capable of joining the workforce, who is to say that a man isn't capable of being a stay at home parent? For anyone that says they're just being lazy, try it sometime. I am a stay at home mom, and I'll tell you it's twice as hard as holding down a job. There are no vacations, you don't receive any monetary reward, and you can't call in sick. I have all the respect in the world for anyone, man or woman who can handle it.
1 person likes this
@rinaaus (1201)
• Australia
29 Jul 07
I think in your case, it's no problem. However, in some other case, man stay at home because they are lazy, they don't want to work, they are scared to work again when they have failed once. In those cases, i don't agree that man stay at home and woman is at work.
@BlueOrchid (187)
• United States
29 Jul 07
Are women who stay at home, while the man works, also "lazy"?
I think if either partner is not pulling their weight in some way, there is an issue. But I see absolutely no problem with the antiquated gender roles being reversed. Anyone who does might want to bring themselves about 40 years up to date! ;-)
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
29 Jul 07
The only time a husband should stay home is in the case of yours, when he is physically unable to work. No no way can a woman make enough to replace a man's wages and the man is supposed to be the provider, not the woman, else he becomes lazy. You may like being the provider, but think of what you have to give up. Unless you both are able to save a lot of money, you will have to work until you are past sixty-five. Could your husband work at home?
1 person likes this
@avonrep1 (1862)
• United States
29 Jul 07
That is so wrong. I can think of instances to prov e that. Yes I have to agree alot of places put a glass ceiling up when it comes to what women will make. But each day more and more companies are dropping that. I have some really good friends, that when she got pregnant, they sat down and talked about what they wanted for their child. He income was around 16K a year. Her income was $54K a year. They both new they wanted their child to be homeschooled from birth. They also knew they wouldn't be able to support their family on his income. So he started a small business in their home, and stays at home with their daughter. They are happy and he is very happy. He loves it, he told me once, he loves he don't miss out on a thing that she experiences, and that wonder is worth more than anything else in this world.
He is not a lazy guy or anything. He is a hard worker, they just knew that this decision was the right for their family.
1 person likes this
@bharatibajaj (133)
• India
29 Jul 07
Hi!Well if your husband is not feeling anything inferior & enjoying what he is doing for the KIDS, I don't think you should give an ear to people's Words & Thoughts.There is absolutely no harm in the husband doing THE HOME, for after all the KIDS are also his blood only & today the HUSBAND & WIFE have to have the Understanding & Balance for LIFE to move on...Just love whatever you do in life, enjoy every minute & be thankful to GOD.
GOD BLESS!!
www.creatingcolourfulfuture.com
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
29 Jul 07
I wish I could make enough money for my husband to stay home. He was in the Military for 20 years and his body is pretty "burned out." But he keeps working a very hard job for his body. I don't know how long he can keep going.
People accept a woman working outside the home better than they accept a man staying home. They feel there is something wrong with the man staying home. Often it's not a man's first choice. He is staying home because of a health problem. But more and more, men are starting home businesses and women are going out to work.
@lavenderbloom (1057)
• United Arab Emirates
29 Jul 07
You are right. Men can start home business and women can help them or go out to work. If a man is having some problem, then i feel nothing wrong in staying at home. I really appreciate you and pray to god that you earn good money so that your husband dont suffer any more. Hope he has a healthy life. God bless you..
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
29 Jul 07
Those days are gone I mean the days when society used to think men as heads of the family should work to support the family as the women stay at home!Today women and men have different opportunities, even without a condition like that of your hubby, i know of men who are able bodied but just stay at home while their wives work! they take care the kids and their role in the family can only looked down upon by myopic minded people, people not intelligent enough to translate easily the immense contributions of such a stay at home dad into monetary values-How much would one pay for a full time house keeper if both parents were working? Let them not ignore this! It is a great thing for a man to work, but there is also nothing wrong if he stays for one reason or another at home and the wife is working!
1 person likes this
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
29 Jul 07
There are some stay-at-home dads, and mom's that work. My cousin's father stayed at home, while her mom went to work. None of us really said anything about it.
1 person likes this
@meme0907 (3481)
• United States
29 Jul 07
I don't think there is anything wrong with the woman being the bread maker-however, I know alot of ppl feel different.
If a man does a better job at taking care of the home then that is his JOB it doesn't matter if he has a huge pay check.
+'s |:)
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
29 Jul 07
In certain circumstances such as being unable to hold down an outside job because of a back injury, yes. But it is not ideal. Even though you may love to be the provider, it is the man's job. Could not he work at home? I mean there are internet and computer jobs, and since he is good at teaching, he does have an authority about him. Besides for the other guys, the reason they are at home is because the pay rate for women is less than men, so the companies are hiring women because they do not want to pay that much. What you have to do is to fight so that a man can make a descent wage so if his wife has to work, it would not be full time. It would also make the men feel a lot better and be less a burden on women who have to support their families on less.
1 person likes this
@whimsystoryteller (1743)
• United States
29 Jul 07
I think it depends on the people and the situation. I prefer working from home and my boyfriend has always worked outside of the house. Who knows what will happen when we finally get married.
1 person likes this
@sirgang (22)
• Philippines
29 Jul 07
All things normal, the man should be the provider and the woman her help meet (this is scriptural you'll find it in the book of Genesis). Maybe there are some situations due to physical incapability the man can not work then this would be the exception.
@Odlanor (140)
• Philippines
29 Jul 07
As for me it doesn't matter if a wife nor a husband stays at home or whoever works or stay as long as love and understanding exist in the family. Actually in this modern day the ideal thing to do is for a husband and wife to go work because of the high standard of living. I am aware that for some reasons there are lots of situation that the wife works while the husband stays at home. We all have different situations the best thing that a couple should do is to meet half way and communicate properly and most of all deal it with love, understanding, patience and don't forget to ask for guidance and blessings above.
@jajunk (2)
• United States
29 Jul 07
Is it ok? Sure. But, it would require a strong man to let go of his male pre-conditioning. It's just my personal belief that a mother is more in tune with the children than the father, and thus would benefit the kids to have her mend to their childish needs rather than a father.
@pendragon (3350)
• United States
29 Jul 07
If that is what works, or what needs to be done, great, women are very capable.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
29 Jul 07
It is fine, nothing wrong with it at all. I am seeing more fathers being the homemaker these days and I think its great! Even if your husband did not injure himself, that doesn't make him any less than any other guy who works fulltime. Regardless of who brings in the money, if it works for you both then thats fine. No one should judge you because of it.
My son actually learns better and quicker through my husband too and at times I wished he was home to teach him.
@abroji (3247)
• India
29 Jul 07
In todays world it is very difficult to stick on to traditions in certain cases. The circumstances should be considered and oportunities should be exploited. The era of job security and employee welfare are fading out. Hire and fire is the present day convention. We can have very few options. In your case you have the oportunity. But your husband is not sitting idle. He is teaching his children. Looking after the house. If suitable oportunities come I think he will take it up and earn for the family. Running the family is the important thing. The kids should be educated properly and made capable to find their opportunities. It is a blessing to the family that you got a job. I support your views.
Thank you.
@lavenderbloom (1057)
• United Arab Emirates
29 Jul 07
I do not feel anything wrong if a man stays at home and a women works if it is because of the man's health problem. Nothing wrong in that. We work to earn money no matter who earns it. It's always us and not you and me when it comes to a husband wife relationship. I appreciate that you both are doing your best.
God bless you and your family and you earn a lot of money too for your family.
@asiatu (14)
• United States
29 Jul 07
My mother is a pediatrician in the Washington DC are and she is finding that it is becoming more and more common that husbands stay home with the children. I personally think it's great for children to see and promotes them to be individuals who think for themselves and are not as easily influenced by typical gender roles.
@soulsister_16 (738)
• Switzerland
29 Jul 07
Yes.
In fact, it used to be the case in my family. My mom was the breadwinner whilst my dad stayed home with me and my brother.
I don't think it makes parents less of what they are if the traditional roles are reversed.
I do believe, however, that these days, it is practical that both parents work to make both ends meet.
