Need heavy duty hair mosturizer help

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My hair has been color treated, so appears very dry, frizzy and damaged due to it. It's also a light color so I think that tends to let these flaws show up more. When I use something like a hot oil or a deep conditioning treatment it *feels* soft, but still doesn't look it. Short of chopping it all off and starting over, what can I do to get it looking as good as it feels? I don't blow dry it, usually just wrap it in a towel to soak the excess water up then brush it, either letting it dry straight down or I'll gather it up twisting it to a loose knot to help it retain moisture as it dries. If I brush it later during the day, it really goes frizzy. Has anyone dealt with this and managed to get their hair back into great looking shape?