Torn between two groups of friends / myLot

Philippines

July 30, 2007 5:02am CST

Hi. I'm wondering if you guys can help me with this problem. I'm the type who likes to jump from one group of friends to another. I like meeting new people and get to learn loads from them. However, I kind of settled myself most of the time with two particular groups which I find great. The first group are more on academics and studies - they talk about intelligent stuff, and I really get to learn a lot. The group even helped me raise my grades because we study as a group. The other group, on the other hand, are more on fun and excitement. And I really feel comfortable and excited whenever I'm with them. They practically do stuff that interest me, they talk about things which arouse my curiosity and interest.. It's like having a blast! But I don't get it when the two groups decided that I had to choose either of them because I found out that they disliked each other.. Can't they be just friends? And I don't want to choose - I like them both! I tried to make them talk but the first group of friends refused to bond with the other group because to them, the other group are way too low on their views. The other group also refuses to bond with the first group because to them, the first group are way too goody-goody for their tastes.. Do I really have to choose? But if I don't - I might lose both of the groups that I really like and am fond of!

1 person likes this

6 responses

onlinebiz

@onlinebiz (119)

• Singapore

31 Jul 07

I never got into such situations cos I am contented with just one clique, however, in your case, I have two suggestions. One, you leave these 2 groups and join another group. Or, you choose between the 2, choose the one you like best, the one you are most comfortable with. ^^ Regards, Adrienne http://www.e-marketinghub.com http://www.e-marketing-systems.com

2 people like this

diannebcrs

@diannebcrs (1549)

• Philippines

2 Aug 07

Although I can join another group, I don't want to leave the two groups. We've been hanging out for so long now. Recently, I don't know why, the fun group avoids me nowadays. The book-wormy group tells me that they ain't real friends.. I'm trying to keep my friendship with both groups at balance - but somehow, I don't know why the fun group is avoiding me.. So should I go after them? Or just stick to this book-wormy group? They are comfortable to be around too. And they help me a lot when it comes to my studies.. But I'm going to miss the other group where I can really have fun bonding with... Thanks for the advice. I hope you can give another in this recent case of mine.

onlinebiz

@onlinebiz (119)

• Singapore

7 Aug 07

If u want to find out why they r avoiding u, asked them straight. Maybe u can find out why the fun group dislike the other group and vice versa. If the fun group give a very lame reason, I think they r really not ppl with good influence. To me, studies are more important than fun, and I believe that your bookworm clique has some form of leisure as well. It is difficult for u to have the best of both worlds, so u just have to pick the one that matters to you most (since u r comfortable and happy with both), studies or fun? ^^ Regards, Adrienne http://www.e-marketinghub.com http://www.e-marketing-systems.com

1 person likes this

mylesnarvaez

@mylesnarvaez (5451)

• Philippines

30 Jul 07

tough to choose just one group. not eveyone is open to different kinds of friendships to different people. not many people understand that there are different personalities and needs in a single person. at this point, which are you? are you more of the nerdy or the fun individual? well, even if you are one or the other, it's best not to immediately choose. you and your personality will naturally choose for you. and real friends should accept you as you are regardless if you are friends with the nerds or the exciting ones. coz there's nothing wrong with the two. don't be afraid to lose friends if you happen not to choose which group to be with. just be yourself. who knows... you might find a group who are both nerdy and fun. :)

2 people like this

@diannebcrs (1549)

• Philippines

30 Jul 07

Hey.. That makes sense. That makes a lot of sense! Thanks for that supportive comment, mylesnarvaez! Well, I like getting high grades because it feels good. And I want to make my parents proud of me and my grades. But there are times when I wanna cut myself some slack and enjoy doing silly things or fun things.. When I'm with the nerdy (you say) group, I feel like I'm at the top of the world because I get to learn a lot of important facts and values in life. They say that knowledge is wealth.. But when I'm with the fun group, I feel like I'm - me. I see myself when I look at them because I'm the type who loves to go out and have a good time. I feel so carefree! I don't have any worries when I'm with them. I wish I can just hangout with both groups on different schedules. I can. But I'm not sure they'll agree on that.

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danishcanadian

@danishcanadian (28953)

• Canada

31 Jul 07

My fiance and I are lucky that all of our friends like eachother, and those who have not met the other s think that the others sound cool. If one of my friends speaks ill of another, I drop the ill-speaking friend. If two people speak ill of eachother, I don't need either of them.

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diannebcrs

@diannebcrs (1549)

• Philippines

2 Aug 07

LOL. That's really cool. You're cool! I guess you're that independent. Wow, I really admire you.. :)

thefuture

@thefuture (1749)

• Nigeria

31 Jul 07

Yes friend. The darkness can not comprehend the light, neither can the rat comprehend the cat. You see friend. the first group more interested on your future, they are interested in you being independent and they want you to be an inportant personality in the future. They don't want you to end up in a cruel way. They second group who are more interested in fun are there to make life full of excitement at the moment, but it is something that will destroy your tomarrow. Having fun isn't a bad thing right, but fun only come after when you are through with what concerns your life. Read this: not what you have, but what you use, not what you see, but what you choose, not what you think, but the decissions you make. You should also understand that a friend is he who comes in, when others go out. You have to decide today in order to make tomarrow a better one. I will advise you to choose the group that are more interested in your future. Think about it. Thanks and have a nice thought.

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thefuture

@thefuture (1749)

• Nigeria

31 Jul 07

Yes friend. The light darkness can't just comprehend the light, neither can the rat comprehend the cat. Its like being in ice today and the next day in hot water. The two groups can't just keep moving because they won't be progressing they way the want most especially the study group. I understand how you feel about this friend, but you have to understand the decissions matters a lot to your life. It helps you grow either positively or nagatively. Read this: Not what you have, but what you use, not what you see, but what you choose, not what you think, but the decissions you make. You have to make a bold decission today in order to make tomarrow a better one. I think that's the best thing for you to do now. I will advise you to choose the group that focus on your future. Thanks and have a nice thought.

1 person likes this

thefuture

@thefuture (1749)

• Nigeria

31 Jul 07

1 person likes this

diannebcrs

@diannebcrs (1549)

• Philippines

2 Aug 07

Wow.. You really made me reflect. Thanks.. I know the book-wormy group can help me have a good future because they help me a lot in focusing on my studies and school work. I get better grades when I'm with them. And whenever we bond together, we always learn great things from each other... Although, I really like being silly sometimes. And the other group makes me feel that way. Thanks for sharing your ideas in this discussion. Much appreciated. God bless.