tips on how to avoid sibling rivalry
By djeljhay
@djeljhay (12)
Philippines
July 31, 2007 10:14am CST
well i used to be a single mom for 5 years,,,and now that i'm newly married i do have my another baby,, what should i do so that there will be no jealousies and rivalries between my kids who has different dads.
2 responses
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
31 Jul 07
Thats a tough one-but I guess you should try to be a super mum who gives equal love to each and everyone of your children. Ugly rivalries come in when the kids grow up knowing who is a mums' baby or who is a Dad's baby! Those that get overt favour more than other siblings are naturally hated-treat your kids on the same barometer, same thermometre, same wave length, same altitude and same latitude of family affection-in this way every child grows with a deep sense of inclusion and belonging! When this spirirt is evident, there cant be any wrangles among kids when they grow up!
@bizmom (515)
• United States
18 Sep 07
Im not sure why ur son is with them but if thats what u WANT and ur his MOM then why not take him home??!! :)X
hes urs!
the sibling rivalry - well treat ur children equally as well as seperate - meaning if u give one child a toys u give the others as well - seperate meaning knowing the INDIVIDUAL child! treat accordingly - what i mean is one child may be emotional other unable to handle stress ect... u wouldnt ADD more stress to that child and i wouldnt want to make the cry for any reason u know what i mean? -not that u should walk on egg shells but -
each child is thier OWN little person they will want differnt things and NEED differnt things from u as thier mom some might need more hugs and cuddles while one not so much he/she would rather wait till ur totaly alone then have u *to them selves* :)
just being fair and knowing what each of thier *special* needs are! :)XX
allowing each to speak just as freely and openly with u as the other :) when they are older ( starting young as well) family meetings, family game night and things that allow them to be themselves is so much fun! :)XX
and it does lesson the rivalry when they KNOW u want to play with them ALL and not just haveing ONLY *special time* with one!!
GOOD LUCK
AND CONGRATS!!
XX
@BajaMa (4)
• Philippines
2 Aug 07
Maybe you can try to spend more time with your eldest? Spending time with the child and making him/her feel important will lessen the feeling of not being loved.
Like pick him up after school (and after your workday) and treat him somewhere. Or make a special meal just for the two of you when the baby is sleeping. Make time for your baby and your eldest to bond by having playtime with each other. Involve your new husband also, he may do stuff dads and kids do with your eldest. In time, I'm sure your eldest would want to stay with you and will not feel that he is an outcast.
Good luck, I feel that you have very good and honest intentions.
