Desperatly disappointed

@peanutjar (5211)
Canada
August 1, 2007 7:35pm CST
I miscarried 3 weeks ago.I was 7 1/2 weeks and was not sick at all.Feeling great until 2 weeks before i found out it was not to be.The ultra sound shown that it had passed away at 5 1/2 weeks,but i had no spotting or nothing.The doctor sent me right away to a specialist at another hospital to have surgery because my blood was becoming poisoned.I know this sounds bad, but i have to talk about it to someone.I would really like to have another child, a sibling for my beautiful 4 1/2 daughter.I dont know if i could do it again.Telling your family and friends that your expecting and waiting for the happy date,then becoming dissappointed.Does anyone have any ideas of getting over this
10 responses
@TiffanieC (827)
• United States
12 Aug 07
I am so very sorry! What you just went through is actually called a "missed abortion" just so you know. I have been through exactly this only I was a little further along. First, let me tell you.. you will NEVER get over this! It will get easier with time, I promise! Please let me know if you want to talk more about this.. I felt totally alone and isolated when I went through this and would have killed for someone to talk to who had been through the same thing. Any miscarriage is awful but honestly I didn't feel as much of a connection to others because there are other things that you have to face with what you and I went through.. decisions that have to be made and such. I know some people might think this is rude or uncaring but it's really not, it's just how I felt at the time. I have since had a normal early miscarriage and it did NOT effect me to any degree near what the "missed abortion" did. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. I am so very sorry! Try to hang in there!
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug 07
BTW I also forgot to mention that hubby and I are now actively TTC. Is this your first pregnancy loss? If it's not then you might want to find out what caused this. I was told "oh, it just happens" but as it turns out I have PCOS which could have cause it (I didn't know about the PCOS at the time) AND I just found out I have a rare clotting disorder that can cause exactly this!!! Now, knowing these things I have a higher success rate (with treatment) once I get pregnant to carry full-term. Now, the trick is actually getting pregnant ;) I am telling you this to give you hope because I know how dark everything must feel right now but there is hope!
1 person likes this
@peanutjar (5211)
• Canada
4 Oct 07
Im sorry tiffanie,but i just could not get back to this topic for awhile and i feel that now im o.k to talk.We are trying now to have another little one and if everything goes well,we will be grateful and happy.Thankyou for being thoughtful and sweet,you are a very nice person.Im sorry too that you went through this,your friend peanut.:)
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Oct 07
Thank you, peanut! I totally understand and am glad you are back and ready :) Still no luck here on this end and it's really frustrating.. we've been trying since January. We only want one child and pray it'll happen for us. There's nothing more we want. I really thought I was last cycle but turned out I wasn't. This cycle I know I'm not cause I have already been spotting for two days and negative HPT. This coming cycle we can't even try because I won't be in town during fertile timesooooooooo I'm really starting to feel like it's just never going to happen. Now hubby is off of a certain med for his prostate and once he's off of it a month I think I'll send him for semen analysis. We did confirm through bloodwork that I am ovulating sooooooooo... we shall see. I hope we both get our little miracle soon hugs
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Nov 07
miscarriage is always difficult to deal with. the best advice i can give you is to surround yourself with supportive family members and friends. i had a miscarriage about 3 yrs ago and my parents were like "get over it... it wasn't even a baby yet"... so unsupportive and incompassionate. but do not take antidepressants to deal with this.. they are just a simple solution to a big problem...
@peanutjar (5211)
• Canada
12 Nov 07
Hi,yes it is difficult to deal with but that was 4 months ago for me and now we are trying again and,well just maybe i am again now,hehe.I never became depressed in my life and believed there is a reason why this happened to me and its the natural way our body is made for detecting "sickness"in our bodies and saying that something just is not forming right or will not survive long so it does its business. Peanutjar:)
@MGjhaud (22074)
• Philippines
28 Oct 07
Hey this sad, condolence and I hope your okay. I kind of remember some friend of mine that is now experiencing bleeding, she’s 1 month pregnant I guess and we hope the baby is still okay inside. Anyway, good thing nothing happened to you while you’re carrying the baby.
1 person likes this
@peanutjar (5211)
• Canada
28 Oct 07
Hi there,i am sorry to hear this of your friend and i hope everything goes o.k with her. Peanutjar:)
• Kuwait
15 Oct 07
owww... that is so hurting,,,im sorry for your lost,,,be strong im sure there must be a reason.
@peanutjar (5211)
• Canada
15 Oct 07
Hi.I dont beeive things like this happen because of low ovaries like someone mentioned to me,grr.Its because of the developement,if there is something wrond with the way it is growing then our body will automatically discard such because of its unability for survival in life.Ive read alot and taked to many different people and they all said the same thing as me.I felt insulted when they said "bad ovaries!",it hurt me quite a bit.Oh well life does go on.We are trying again and hopefully it will happen,but no-one will know until its late in the pregnancy because of what just might happen.;)
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
2 Oct 07
I might be late to the party but I want to respond. Peanut I agree with some of the other posters, you have to take care of yourself first. Please don't push yourself. You've got to recover from this, some of it might or might not be physical, but there's definitely the mental and emotional. Take a breather, step back. Think of what your other child would have wanted. I bet he/she is smiling on you, I'm also sure you can feel that child in some capacity. Live a little more for that child and focus on your daughter more as well. I hope your desire of another child comes to fruition. But take it slowly and be sure to take very good care of the two of you when you are blessed with child once again. We're here to help if you need it, too. I can't think of anything else to say Peanut. I hope I didn't sound like a clown with my post. I really want you to be safe and happy. You'll get what you desire not just because you are a good person and mother, but also because everyone around you is supporting you. You've got thoughts and prayers focused on you and your family. I'm sure it'll work out.
1 person likes this
@peanutjar (5211)
• Canada
3 Oct 07
Hi pro!(hope its o.k?to say pro?):)I seem to push myself to much and dont know when to stop when i should.But im starting to become a more relaxed person and put my energy on my daughter who needs it the most because shes little.I appreciate your thoughts and its taken to heart.How are you?I havent seen alot of you around here lately or maybe its me not here lately alot,lol.:);)
@shanyuo (251)
• United States
2 Oct 07
I am so sorry to hear this, will keep you in my thoughts and prayers
1 person likes this
@peanutjar (5211)
• Canada
2 Oct 07
Thankyou.It affected my daughter the most,even though it was early she was very happy and talked to "the"belly alot.She still forgets sometimes i think because a couple of days ago i said"oh my baby!"meaning her and she said "mmm baby in the bellys so cute!".Then she relized and just looked at me and went on doing what she was doing.Shes yearning for this,a little brother or sister to have.Shes given alot of love and is very affectionate.Hopefully this month will be a good one,ha,ha.lol.:0
@cher913 (25865)
• Canada
2 Aug 07
take care of yourself...a miscarriage is very hard on you physically, it took me about 6 months before i got over it (of course, i had an active todler at home though) but do get a lot of rest. the good news is that you can get pregnant again...i had my miscarriage in january and got pregnant in july with our second daughter (she is 10 now)
1 person likes this
@kiobug (2250)
• United States
7 Oct 07
I dont have any advice but I am very sorry for your loss.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Aug 07
Miscarriages are just normal to mothers who have a low ovaries. If you will be overdoing and thinking so much during early pregnancy the tendency is to have a miscarriage. My daughter had 2 miscarriages because she was problematic and at the same doing all the household chores in their home. I advised her to take a rest for a while from all the chores at home and give her a book entitled, "Tough Times". I think it helps her and after 3 months of her last miscarriage she is again pregnant. She is due to deliver this coming September 2007.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Dec 07
My sister had 6 miscarriages -- one was far along enough that she had to have a DNC done. I don't know what to tell you. Never been pregnant, so I don't know what it's like. Never will be pregnant either, so by that I've never lost a pregnancy. "Sorry" just doesn't seem to cut it. It makes it sound like I'm telling you that your lost pregnancy can be replaced like a pair of lost tennis shoes. I don't know how my sister got over it, but she did. She had 4 miscarraiges before her first daughter was born and 2 before her 2nd daughter was born. I personally am not strong enough to carry a pregnancy -- I put myself first and when you're a mother, you can't do that, so I opted not to have kids, ever. Plus my cats would never accept anything that took precidence over them. =)