Digging up the roots of bitterness planted by seeds long ago.

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This past week was a bad one for me mostly because this trying to get everything back on track has been a rough thing but my birthday was last weekend and I was in a very foul mood. My daughter decided to throw me a surprise birthday party and I acted very ungreatful and a total heel. Everyone kept telling me I was being a jerk but I coudlnt see it, to me I just didnt want any party and I had found out by accident. This weekends sermon was on seeds of bitterness and how something can be burried for years and spring up when you dont expect it to hurt someone you love. Well my wife asked me why I was acting this way "is being another year older really so bad", without thinking I said no its nothing to do with age. When she asked me what than I said because I dont like my birthday she asked for a good reason and I said I can give you four. She was quiet and I stood there and it hit me that I still have something burried inside of me that wants to or needs to get out. I said "seeds of bitterness" and she thought of course I was trying to relate it to her and I wasnt I told her these four reasons why I cant stand my birthday. When I was younger 9 years old (I believe) I had a birthday party and I told my stepdad I loved him, that night and he and my mother got into a huge fight in fact he ended up punching her out and the cops came and arrested him. When I was 18 the day before I joined the army my mother told me that my real dad was in fact my stepdad. When I was about 22 my first wife confessed to me how she had cheated on me and a bunch of other things. There was another incident to I would rather not drop out in the open I would say those three would be enuough for anyone to see why it is I have struggled with my birthday. In all this I realised I was being a jerk and not acting like a normal person I went in and appologized (at the recommendation of my wife) to my daughter and told her all the reason I had acted so bad. I also promissed her that if she had a birthday party for me I would try my best to be happy and thankful she cared enough to do something like that for me. Every one cancelled and we ended up just having dinner, cake and ice cream with the immediate family but I had learned a pretty valuable lesson. I had alot of burried bitterness and until that moment I had no idea how bitter I was about it. How about all of you, any of you had things in your past thats spring up to hurt someone you care about without even knowing why you are acting like a jerk?