Do the grandparents spoil your kids?

United States
August 2, 2007 9:13am CST
Ok I just need to kinda vent I guess lol. My husbands mom and dad drive me insane sometimes. They seem to want my kids to like them more then they like us (my husband and I) She always wants to come and get them and take them shopping with her which would be fine but they come home with like a million different things. We are able to give our kids what they want for the most part so they already have lots of toys etc. but she don't quit. They get so much stuff when they go with her. Another thing is is that they don't make them listen to anything they pretty much get by with anything and everything when they are with them. Now don't get me wrong I know grandparents are suppose to spoil them lol but not like this!! They just like to beable to tell everyone "well I bought this and this and this for keenen and Kaleb" It drives me crazy!! Like we can't take care of our own kids. I think they just don't like that we are able to provide everything our kids need because they have grandson that they HAVE to buy everything for or he wouldn't survive cause he has worthless parents lol. But Anyways thanks for letting me vent some LOL. Also would like to here from anyone who is in the same position. or maybe I'm the only one who has crazy inlaws lol :)
3 people like this
10 responses
@kishusia (1069)
• India
26 Sep 07
No, they love the kids. They teach them good things. Kids are always around them. They are perfect grand-parents. In India kids learn their first lessons from their mother and grand-parents.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Sep 07
that sounds really nice. I'm glad they have such a good relationship with them :)
• United States
3 Aug 07
I am the opposite. When my grandkids come over to visit, or when I visit them, I make them mind. I don't buy them everything under the sun. If I bring them anything it is fun things like bubble bath, hair things, fresh fruit. I don't buy junk food for them. I take them on overnights, bring them shopping with me (but don't buy them anything). I occasionally take them to the Dollar store for a shoppng spree! They are each given $5 and told what they can't buy. Only educational or useful items must be purchased. This makes them think. They come out with some great things. Sorry to hear that your children's Grandparents spoil them like they were born with a silver spoon in their mouths. It doesn't help your efforts at all.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Aug 07
Thats great to hear how you help your grandkids. Yea I know it makes it so hard when I go to the store after my kids have been with my mother in law. My oldest thinks he gets to buy anything he wants!! Drives me crazy. Once in a great while I'll let him get somthing. Like yesterday at the grocery store he got a toy semi (he loves semi's like daddys lol) but I think thats the first thing he's got in forever lol. But thanks for your response your the kind of mother in law I need LOL.
@mrsbrian (1950)
• United States
2 Aug 07
hello, I guess I fall into the bad grandparent section lol. I do buy a lot for two of my grandchildren ,but it is because there parents just cant seeem to make ends meet no matter how hard they try, but I also have a grandchild like you who have parents that can supply what they need and I buy her things also,althought i dont overdo it like your inlaws. maby you could have a talk with them and ask them to not buy so many things as the children dont need them and they could better spend there money on the other child to help him out, also twll then you have rules you children must follow and if they cant abide by them than they cant go shopping with them anymore.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Aug 07
Thanks for your response :) No i'm sure your not a bad grandparent for buying them stuff. Thats great you can help out with your one who needs it :) We have talked to them until theirs no more talking lol they just don't get it. So they don't really go to town with them anymore. Its just crazy how much stuff they have already and most of it just lays around. I've mentioned to her about getting them like savings bonds or things like that instead of all the "junk" she sometimes buys. granted its not all junk lol but you know what i mean.
@sid556 (30986)
• United States
2 Aug 07
I don't think it is probably their intent to make you look bad. I think that they sound like the types of people that show their love by buying material things. Some people don't really know how to show love and affection any other way. Maybe it is time to have your hubby have a little talk with them. They should not be allowing the kids to get away with things at their home that they can not get away with at your place.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Aug 07
Yea I do think that too they seem to think buying them things will make them like them more i guess lol. My husband and I have both talked to them about making them listen but it just goes in one ear and out the other. So they don't spend much time alone with them anymore lol Don't get me wrong we see them alot and everything but I get tired of my oldest who is 4 comeing home from when he's with them and just thinking he can run all over me lol. Thanks for your input :)
@violeta_va (4832)
• Australia
19 Sep 07
I am with you on this one. My parents spoil their 3 grand kids so much its not even funny. They do a lot of thing behind our backs not major things but say If I dont let my son eat more than 3 sweets a day they sneak some for him. Or my son is not allowed mcdonalds more than 2-3 times a month and we get it when we all go shoping so when my parents take him on thr and friday most often he gets happy meal both days and if I ask if he had any they say no. And they buy them anything they want. To me all this is not a big deal but as they grow older they will skin them alive with all their wishes and demands. But thats their problem but I told them to save enough to get all 3 grand kids (I have 1 and my sister has 2) a car as thats waht they will say they want for their 18 the way my parents go with presents. (each year the presents grow more and more expencive)
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12057)
• India
11 Sep 07
lol..I've got crazy in-laws too. My son has his way with them and they don't let me discipline him at all! 'He's only a child' they say. And it gets me so mad 'coz my son does take advantage of it and he's normally a very sweet child but since he can get away with stuff when they are here...he goes all out and does things he wouldn't even do normally! My mom tends to spoil him with material things too:( I don't mind her getting him stuff...but I wish she'd ask me if it's appropriate. She has no clue about all the new toys and he just goes to a toy store and picks up something I wouldn't get him. My dad understand and the situation is under control when he is with my mom..lol. But my mom and I just end up arguing about this when she comes visiting alone.
1 person likes this
@chari_dc (492)
• Philippines
3 Aug 07
when my eldest son was born, my husband and i were still living with my parents. then we moved to our own house when he was 2 years old. afterwhich i got pregnant with my daughter. since i am a working mom, my husband's mom stayed with us to take care of the little baby until she was 8 months old. both my parents and my mother-in-law claim they are not spoilers. but contrary to that, i believe they are. since we only see them during weekends now, my parents tend to really give everything and anything my son wants. and they adore my little baby girl and always wants us to visit them. my mother-in-law who visits us at least once a month never takes her hands off my baby girl who is now 1 year and 4 months old. she always cuddles her close to her. i appreciate them "spoiling" my kids. it just shows they love them so much.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Aug 07
It seems that a lot of grandparents spoil thier grandkids. They feel that all they need to do is give and love, almost to a fault. Sometimes they do not respect their own childrens wishes for their kids. It is really a selfish thing.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Aug 07
The grandparent's do spoil our son. I don't mind it though. They don't try to spoil him so much that he will like them more though. Sorry you are going through this. Have you talked to them about it and told them how you feel?
1 person likes this
@jmcafam (2890)
• United States
2 Aug 07
My parents spoil my kids like crazy but not to the extent to where they just go completely nuts over it. Like right now they are buying them all their school clothing because they have been finding all the sales where they live. Sometimes I feel bad that they are doing this cause that money they should spend on themselves. I think do this because two things one they did not have the money when we were growing up to splurge on my sister and me so they are trying to make it up to us. I also think the other reason is because they moved out of state. As far as your in-laws. Have you spoken to them about buying them things they don't really need all the time and the whole listening situation? I could be that since they are buying things for the other grandchild they feel that they have to buy for your children as well to not seem like they are favoring one set of children over the other.
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