Where is your comfort ratio in the cycle of giving and receiving?

I just cant see myself rating myself on this . For I like you have trouble receiving. I just dont seem to be able to put that I have been sick on the net. For when I get sick it is something way out of line that maybe not printable lol or for me not printable. Now I can give with no problems but recieving thanks back is hard and most times make me feel funny for giving what I can and get thanks back . Ok thats me

Caring about someone who is sick by giving them words of sympathy is simply courtesy and good manners. It something you should do with anyone... even if they are not your friends. On the giving and taking... in general those people who have a problem taking... don't like giving. Life should be about sharing... give and take. Unfortunately... because everyone is different... various degrees of giving and taking occurs... which creates friction. Many people spend their lifetime giving to everyone with very little recognition because the time and knowledge they contribute in helping others is not regarded as "giving" in our materialistic world where everything centre around money. This is particulary true when those people try to help people who are obsess with money. The person obsess with money usually only contribute money or presents in way of giving to the less fortunate. Not only does it make the giver feel superior... but often that person gives with expectations to get something in return for its money. Some people will take until you have nothing left to give... and then drop you like an old sock. That's when you have to learn to take. Today... I have a new policy. I only give when I truly want to give... without any expectations of getting something in return. That is the only way to go if you don't want to get disappointed. Expectations are the curse of our life. It destroys love, relationship, marriage, friendship and even businesses when the clientele expect too much. Without expectations... life would be a lot easier for everyone. People need to learn to do things for the right reasons... without putting pressure on others through their expectations. There is decency in everyone of us... and I truly believe that people would be more likely to help each other if they were not put under pressure to do so.

On a scale of 1-10 for giving I would rate myself very high. I am good at helping people and supporting them in times of need. I will be brave and stand up for people who do not have the confidence and I have been thanked for this. So I would rate myself as 7/8 as sometimes I can be selfish and just want some me time. However, on a scale for receiving I am way down the scale. Only last week I was told how good I was at my job in helping kids with behavioural problems and one woman told me she spoke about me in her interview to study to become a teacher. I was told I under estimate myself and always think the worse, when people are thinking the good. I do find it difficult to accept praise and tend to shrug it off. So I would rate myself as a 3/4, going red while writing this now.LOL What I have found interesting is children nowadays have alot more confidence than in my generation. I feel alot of parents, not all, do take time to praise their kids which gives them alot of self-esteem. In my days it was not such a big issue, and we were brought up in families that practiced what was traditional to them, without the influences of outside agents. To me, this has been a good thing in alot of cases, especially when kids do not recieve this at home. I know my children are alot more confident than me, but I do make sure they are polite in their manners as there is nothing worse than an arrogant person who has too much self-confidence that they do not appreciate anyone else around them.

Oh, me too. Giving is much more comfortable than receiving. While I am grateful for the person's generosity I don't like feeling needy. And asking for help is really a challenge for me. Of course, as I age and as I deal with chronic illness I am getting lots of lessons in this category. I am on the receiving end of help daily and sometimes have to ask for help. So it is getting easier with practice. But it still isn't that comfortable. Being one of the most independent of types, I like to think I can do anything that needs to be done! :-)

Hello Perspectives! I will have to deal the issue in two different ways to cover my whole view about this issue. First: I think my comfort level with giving is 9.5. I love to give, just about everything that I have and I can, if it can help someone. I have a very simple life even though I can afford a much better 'material' standard of life. My partner is like me. We have a simple philosophy that what we have beyond our basic necessities is not ours, It's for someone who deserves it more than us. Most of my free time after 10th grade was spent in non-profit organizations working for welfare of society in general and students in particular, hence taking my time, energy and resources. I have also risked my life in those situations. I feel very relaxed and comfortable while giving. I got this attitude from my parents, who inherited it from our Grand parents who in turn took it from our great Grand Parents and so on. For about one and a half millennium years my family is known for bravery, Charm and generosity. Every male and female in our family have same initial first name (it can also be called family name in our tradition) since that time. The opposite is true for receiving. I never liked to receive something even from my parents. It's a long story as to why I developed this attitude. I have had people get angry with me because of my refusal to receive. The problem became or appeared more severe last year when I lived in a shared accommodation with my friends studying here with me. I would pay a single penny involved when others bought something for common use and would not ask for a single penny when I purchased something for common use. My friends started moving away from me over this, so I got a little better after talking to them, in this field. Still I would describe my comfort level with receiving to be between 1 and 2. There is another side to it though, which I'll try to explain. When I say that I 'give', I "factually" do not believe it, it is just an expression. Being a believer in a single deity, I believe that I have nothing to offer, since, to offer, one must 'have' something. All what I have is gifted by HIM (excuse the male pronoun, as I don't have a proper pronoun for GOD) and actually belong to HIM. It's not about just money thing, it's about everything; The hand I offer to help, the legs to walk along with someone, the eyes seeing someone in need, the tongue to offer comforting words, the heart to feel for everyone in HIS creation, the ears to hear a cry of help, everything belongs to HIM. Thus it's not me who is giving but the GOD who is giving through me. I am only the 'means' or 'source' or an 'executor' of that giving, nothing more. So, in this perspective, how can I tell about how giving I am, when I haven't given even a single thing from myself? If I see it in another perspective, I am actually as comfortable in receiving as I am in giving. For, when I give (as an executor of this process), I receive satisfaction, the bliss, the happiness, the sense of fulfillment and accomplishment, the feeling of being a human beyond my selfish self, freedom from lust and greed, humility, pride of being a GOD's hand, and much more. The most important thing that I "receive" while "giving" is the closeness with GOD and a step further in HIS vastness. So, I can say that I receive much more when I give, which perhaps makes me much more comfortable with 'giving'. I don't know if I am understandable, but I did enjoy replying to your post.

Hello Perspectives. I'm a person who would like to help others because it's nice to end my day knowing that somehow I have helped another human being. But then, I'm still human, prone to be a little selfish. If I could give myself such rating, I guess it's have to be an 8. Why 8? Because I can't give myself a perfect 10, knowing that there are times that I do can give others my help but I choose not to. There are times that I stop giving my help because I feel I'm being taken advantage already. I don't give help because I want something in return. I'm not that kind of person. But I do give help for those who really needs it. But if I feel that my giving of help is being abused, I start to put on the brakes. It's nice to be on the receiving end sometimes but I feel much better when I'm the one who gives.

Great question!!!! Giving- I would rate a 9. I am very comfortable about doing so, but I am also opinionated as well. I will give and give as long as I know I am not going to be taken advantage or I am not enabling someone. Receiving- ha 1! I was raised in an Irish household and pride was the number one lesson we learned early. I am not saying it's right or wrong, I am just saying this is what happened. We were raised to be givers but it was a sign of weakness to receive. So if we were sick, we continued to do our chores and what was expected of us and we didn't accept help. I am now working as an adult to over come that impulse to refuse help. I have learned it's not so much for me as it is for the person to do it, you know? I think when someone really wants to do something for you and refuse to let them, it's kind of insulting to them.

I always believe in "spreading the word," that I love to share good moments whenever I see someone sad. I always give my best to let them know how fruitful life can be, that giving is good more than receiving!;) For me, I give everything I can even if nothing would be left for me. That is one way for me to help those who are in need, with nothing to expect that I would be receiving something from them also. I only expect that God sees this, as He knows everything little thing I do. I believe that my own ratio of giving would be at around 7, because at times I cannot give what I don't have to those who needs it. At receiving, I believe that I am at around 3. Because there are folks that insists me to take their gifts or present, on lessons learned from day to day life..

Giving...6 or 7 Receiving...6 For me I'm almost equally confortable with giving as I am with receiving. It boils down to the "do unto other's" idea. If I see a person and need and I can help them without feeling taken advantage of. I think that is an important factor for me. Maybe it's somewhat selfish, but if I do something for someone or give something to someone, I like to feel it is at least somewhat appreciated. If someone wants to or can help me out at times, I feel that I can accept that help graciously. I don't feel too guilty about it, because I know that if the circumstances were reversed, I would do the same. But I would not abuse a person's generosity. I think give and take is important in friendships and in all types of human relationships. One person cannot accomplish everything by themself. We all need a little help from time to time. We all need to work together to accomplish the greater tasks in life.

give and it shall be given unto you it says in the Bible we don't give to get but to do what is in our inner beings and the positive results of that is receiving what is coming back to you. you are a special unique individual who has and can give-- so try to receive with which you truly deserve