my husband is too addicted to his job.

@swasti (1157)
India
August 3, 2007 2:06am CST
my husband hardly spends time with me and my baby boy. all the time he is glues to his offcie work even at home and other times he has some personnel work to do. i think we r loosing our precious moments in this young age....wat is the use if he is going to be free in our olden days? this part of life , with a small baby , is a time when we should cherish and njoy..... how many of u face like me?? how do u feel? how do u usefully spend ur time?
2 people like this
17 responses
• Malaysia
3 Aug 07
hey!...hey!!!...hey!!!!my dear friend. Don't jump to the conclusion. Your lovely hubby now is doing sacrificial effort for the whole lot of your family for the next years to come. You got to support him warmly and look for something that can help him in the making. Loneliness can be overcome by adding your beneficial activities to your family, such as home business, work at home and there are many internet networking that works for you....no need telemarketing, meeting clients and so on...... First and foremost, you must know what is your husband's favorites amusement list...there must be one at least....and must be very persuasive minded....if you got this, I firmly believe that there will be no more loneliness deeply in your heart. Take care.
2 people like this
@swasti (1157)
• India
3 Aug 07
thanx for ur advice ...lets see if things change
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
3 Aug 07
upkeep your 'one love' to your hubby. He need you in his life and carrier. OK bye.
@youless (112096)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Aug 07
Please try to be understanding and considerate about it. I think the reason why your husband work hard is he really wants to give you and your baby a better life. He is a man, so he's responsible to it. And I think perhaps he feels pressure to it. Some men may think that taking care of such a little baby is a hard job. So they try to avoid it. I think you have to appreciate his hard work. And sometimes ask someone to take care of your baby for some hours and spend some time with your husband together. Such as going to see a movie together etc. You have to show your care and love and therefore he will like going home.
@swasti (1157)
• India
6 Aug 07
yes ofcourse , i recently did exactly wat u said. i left my baby with my mom and me and my husband went for a movie.it was really a nice time. but it was hard to fix such a time with him , convince him .....
• India
3 Aug 07
I agree.. i face the same problem.. but to be frank if i look at it from my hubby's point of view.. he spends most of his time in office.. with no contact with the outside world.. when he comes home he just wants to relax.. and check his personal email and chat with friends.. and do some of his other jobs which he can't do in office.. weekends he spens all his time with me & my son..in todays fast paced lifestyle it is difficult for anybody to spend to much time with the family due to pressures from work .. so i look at it as... quality time ..so i try to make the time we spens together plesent and fun..
@swasti (1157)
• India
3 Aug 07
ya i think i should see to that i try my best to put off all my other house work and try to spend even a small time i get with him...wat to do ...life is soo hard
@sunny5u (2069)
• India
3 Aug 07
Then you ask him how much you love me,then you tell him everything that you love him so much and tell him to enjoy with you...
• Macedonia
3 Aug 07
well i never was in that position but my dad was working all the time for growing us with money and love from my mom...i feel like your little baby most important is your husband to find some good job that will help you to raise a normal good children...love is all you can do as parents the money are not important if you have good job (5-8hours a day)
2 people like this
• United States
3 Aug 07
There is actually no such thing .If you can find a job 5 to 7 hours a day that pays that good so u can be home every night and all. let me knoe because i have never heard of that and obviously if he is working that much there is a reason because he is not making enough and money is big part to support a family especially a baby.
1 person likes this
3 Aug 07
Dear Swasti, Does your husband actually realise that he is doing this? Why is he doing it? Perhaps he feels that he has good reason i.e to meet the bills. Have you discussed it with him? Help him to realise that it is him you value and that your time together is precious and make the best of what time you have got. - Get a babysiter sometimes and surprise him - it need no be an expensive surprise - just a picnic in the park and the chance to be together may be all you need.
1 person likes this
@sylvia13 (1850)
• Nelson Bay, Australia
3 Aug 07
My husband is addicted to his work too and I actually admire him for that, but he still pays attention to the family. I think his attitude is based on the fact that his own father did not spend any time with his two sons and till today my husband wishes his father had gone skiing together more than the one time he did!
1 person likes this
@smacksman (6053)
3 Aug 07
Well you could always leave him and take up with some bum without a job and all the time in the world to spend with you. Granted, you will then have to go to work to support him and come back knackered and ready to sleep. It's a tough world and not at all like it is written in books and magazines.
• United States
3 Aug 07
I odnt think she was making that point i think she was just trying to find out ways and all to see if we had any tips to help figure a wasy to spend time i mean she just is missing him and i am sure wants him to see his baby boy grow up. I mean its not like she is taking him for granted some people do work very hard and dont reliaze it is going on.
@ayris77 (1301)
• Malaysia
4 Aug 07
There's no need to block his good job path.That's is for u and you beloved baby.Only you can do is give him more motivation for more hard and also smart in job. Hard without smart is rubissh.Its mean that,have a time for a leisure with family.Tell him that family is our track n not a burden!More Close to our own family will hel to release our job stress!Try it or leave it!
@LadyDulce (830)
• United States
4 Aug 07
A lot of times men will throw themselves into their work when a child is born. They may feel suddenly thrust into the role of father, so the provider instinct goes into overdrive. It'll usually correct itself over time, but it helps if you keep him grounded and remind him that his time is well spent with you and your little one. Both of you need him so much during this time and he may think the best way he can meet your needs is to work more. They're wired differently; what can I say? Blessed Be
@vinzen (1020)
• India
3 Aug 07
Hi, i think a lot many of us can relate to you and have gone through what you are facing now, and more so when your child is young, it is the time you need help and your child and you all as a fmaily need to be with each other, and these are the times when problems arise due to all these things, i talk of personall past experiences that i have also had, smiliar in nature. And i would sugges that you sit and talk to your husband one day , sitting face to face and expressing your feelings, and am sure he will understand and make some changes in his schedule so that hes with you boht too, other wise they are so busy that they dont even realise what we wives are facing, so we need to tell and voice things to them, giving them alteratives, to make things happen.
• India
3 Aug 07
I understood ur situation.First thing u should do is just take the initative of things u want to do.Prepare some picnic spot list for the weekends and tell him that we will go and enjoy there for sometime.Secondly slowly try to tell him we are missing this wonderful age and we cant do anything after this age is gone.After coming from the office,tell to communicate with him by showing ur baby to him.Tell him i am feeling sad as u are not properly communicating with me.Tell him that sparse some time with us after coming from job for atleast 1 hr.Another way is just ask him to give u a job or u try for a job. But dont get depressed. You are really good enough to make ur life busy by earning some cash through this site.I think u would be more busy than ur husband. Life is a game,we have face it Think i am happy in this world.Dont think abt the surrounding and look after ur baby properly.
1 person likes this
@RAPAZ68 (185)
4 Aug 07
Hello Swasti, Have you tried talking about how you feel about this with your husband?
• India
3 Aug 07
hey! don jus think tat hez not spendin time wit yo n yur cute kid! hez workin for yo people yaar! jus think of it for a sec... yo ll come to a conclusion.. He too ll be havin those feelings but ll be hiding to earn n hav a gud lif not for his future but yur yur family!!! jus leave it!!! it ll be k soon! all de best
• Canada
3 Aug 07
Unfortunately there are those who get too wrapped up in their jobs, and when other "needs" speak up, these people complain of being spread way too thin I had a similar battle with my fiance, a wonderful man, but a sucker for anyone who needs help with anything. We are now in the process of confronting his boss, who has been taking advantage of him for way too long now. Your husband needs to realize that you're right. He's wasting the lives of his children, by not being there. He's wasting family time on work, his job is draining him, whether he knows it or not.
• United States
3 Aug 07
You know that is me on the other side im always working but i make sure we take like a couples hours a week to do something special with the family and all so i can stay connected and show i still love and appreciate everyone. some people get caught up and dont reliaze i would sit down and talk to him . Let out your feelings and let him know so yall can come up with a soulution dont let it go on with out talking about it it could become worse. And dont argue because he might not even reliaze it and all. He might think he is doing it for yall to have a good life ahead and make sure everyone is taking care of just let him know to put some hours back for yall then plan something even if it is just dinner at home and all.
@jothis (518)
• India
3 Aug 07
I am unmarried and dont face this kind of situation. May be in the near future i can tell u more authentically. Still do one thing try ro overcome your husband with the love and warmth. Always be happy with him. Dont show any angry towards him. Try to understand his situation also. If you are that much boaring u can spend time with your baby