how to deal with the problem about my girlfriend?
By wasons
@wasons (302)
China
August 5, 2007 12:02pm CST
i am 25 this year,i knew my girlfriend about 3 years,she loved me very much,but i feel something tired these days,my parents unlike her and now she has no job,she wants to back to school to study,her parents can't help her a lot.that is not the very problem,the problem is i find myself do not love like before,this is very important,and if l leave her away,she will be very sad or even commit suicide.so i am very trouble abot that,and how to deal with the problem about my love,about my girlfriend?
3 people like this
15 responses
@easymoney75503 (1702)
• United States
5 Aug 07
the real question is that you need to figure out if you love her. is she the one. if not then you need to tell her. dont let others tell you how to feel though. if you love her and there just needs to be some changes then talk about it. if you need space and time to think talk to her. the best thing to do is think and talk to her. you cant blame her for wanting to go to school and better herself. we are all without jobs from time to time. just think for yourself and dont let anyone else tell you how to feel
2 people like this
@wasons (302)
• China
5 Aug 07
in fact,i real understand how much i love her,so sometime if i feel something unhappy,i would quarrel with her,people who i know advised me to leave her,but that it will hurt her badly.i used to try to talk with her,but she cry every time,and then day after day...maybe i need some time and space to thing the problem,thanks for your help!
1 person likes this
@easymoney75503 (1702)
• United States
5 Aug 07
from the sounds of it you really do care for her. you may have fell out of love but the care is there. you maybe in love but need space and time as well. the best thing you can do for her right now is get her some help. she needs to talk with someone. i am not sure what country you are in and i dont think she has the money to see a doctor either by the sound of it but i would get her in to talk with someone. call the hospital and talk to them tell them how depressed she is and how her moods are every where and that you are worried. most places have free consuling for things like this. call your local human resources if you have it where you are. if you cant do either of them it doesnt matter if you are religous or not talk with a preacher, priest, whatever and explain and ask them to talk to her about her life and what she feels not about god though. or call a school and ask to speak with a consulor even if she isnt enrolled there call them and expalin and jsut say i need help for her. she needs it and it may help you both too.
1 person likes this
@wasons (302)
• China
6 Aug 07
i think she love me much more than i,and i am not sure if she want to depend on me forever,i am so tired of that,my parents want to introduce other girl for me,and they unlike her for some reason:idiom,education,background and so on,i am a chinese,live in a traditionary family.i am so trouble about it for a long time,i think i prefer to leave her,but we both need some time to deal with it.
@kimhuang2007 (25)
•
28 Sep 07
It is really a dilemma for you .As she have no job to support herself.And she devoted to you so much.
To be frank,I have came accrose one boy like your GF.However,He did give up .not me.
I think every girl are particular about the love.They can blind at your demerit .even if you were a murder.But they could not bare that you disguise that you love her for your heart.
There is a words saying that"If you don't love someone any longer ,Pls release.To vacating the chance for another one to love her/him."
@kimhuang2007 (25)
•
28 Sep 07
How to say
Yes ,it is really confused.
But infatuation is just the love.
@sincere4frdship (2228)
• India
6 Aug 07
well , i think you sould not leave her away to you. you have written that its tough time for her where your parents not like her and her parents cannt help her ....
it may be you are not in love with her like before but you should spend time with her regularly like a goood friend .
when you will feel that she is in stroger position to fight that pain which you will give her from leaving...that time you can keep yourself away from her.....
@wasons (302)
• China
6 Aug 07
maybe you are right,i think as time going on,we will understand each other much more,and the we can make a decision if we live togeter,but now i can't even talk to her to be a good friend,she would think i will leave her away,so i have the only thing to do is waiting,while she feel i realy tired living with her,and then let her make a decision to leave me first,you say it is ok?
@wasons (302)
• China
6 Aug 07
thank you for your opinion
it is hard to say i love her or not,in fact,i ever loved her,and now i love her less than before,but she love me all the time,she treat me well,but i am afraid i would not love her in the future,so i say i need some time to think the our love.
@switpickle (83)
• Philippines
9 Aug 07
for me, i think that maybe the way you're feeling is only temporary. sometimes, we may feel like our feeling for another has decreased. (i feel that too, sometimes and its hard). but i find that after some time, the feeling returns. someone taught me that love is more than feeling. it is a choice and a decision. because when you think about it, if love is simply a feeling, then the concept of forever would be false. because no feeling lasts forever. love is a choice in a way that even if there are some hardships, you still choose to stick to that person and love. this is just my belief. im not sure if people would agree. im a romantic. :)
@downaalice (209)
• China
27 Sep 07
i think it all depends on yourself.if you feel it unnecessary for you twwo to continue to develop your relationship,or you have nothing in common,oryou really don't love her now ,you can break away fromher early,beacuse short sorrow is much better than long one,as for your parents,their opinion can only be an zdvice for you to think about.at last,all is up to you ,i think.if you think that she is a good girl and worth you love and she loves you very much,you can take your relationship back into consideration.an conclusion you had better take more factors into account.not only her present situation but also her past and future.
@altair_dip (807)
• India
6 Aug 07
u need to sort ur feeling for her... it is very clear that u care for her.. and belive me once she decides what to do she will be in a better stat to face what life has to offer.. so pleas take time .. adn wait for the right time to tell her about ur feelings.. all the best
@ayris77 (1301)
• Malaysia
6 Aug 07
Hard to realease the rope when the rope has tied us.That is your situation.I think,you must give the time for yourself to think what have you done to her before this and also what will be going on if the word of "BREAK!" release from your mouth!she want to further study,for i guess,this is not the best way you deal with the problem.Think about what she must do with her "weak" family.Think about that! She want to help her family ,to upgrade their status,but you want to make her weak and weak again.Now,his motivation spirit is with you!Dont you no it!
@daveisdavid (878)
• Singapore
6 Aug 07
You have to ask yourself whether is there a chance to rekindle your love for her. If it is not possible, it's better to break off early than to hold on to a relationship where there is no love. I understand that break up is hard to take but it's part and parcel of life.
@jaichen (142)
• Philippines
6 Aug 07
you have been loving her since before.. have you ever encountered problems as bad as this... my point is.. for better or for worse, you should understand her and love her.. if you really loved her.... it is just a test of time... isn't it unfair on her part that when she has no job and your parents dislike her, you would decide to ditch her also? try thinking things over before deciding... life is unfair, i know and you might even decide things that are against your will but just think of it... think it over and over again if your decisions are really worth it till the end
@chinachild (1)
• China
6 Aug 07
do you really love her,do you want to marry her,let her be your wife.i think that is the most important thing.if not,tell her that you don't love her like before,and just let each other free,don't hurt each other.
@daisy_gurl (17)
• Malaysia
6 Aug 07
i think if u don't love her like before you must broke up with her because if get married with her i think u can live happily.but i adviced you to think carefully before make any decision..and i hope what is your decision is the best decision for you.
@rebeccamariereyes (36)
• Philippines
16 Aug 07
Hi wasons! I know how you feel right now.. I know you are confused and you are also sad. I can say that I've been through this problem before. I once had a boyfriend who's very inlove with me. But my parents don't like him for me because he doesn't have a job, his parents don't have a job and he wasn't able to finish his college studies.
I understand the difficult situation that he is in and at the same time, I am also feeling bored and tired of our relationship because a lot of people are contradicting and not happy about it.
Sometimes you need to be subjected to harsh situations before you will make the right decision of letting go of the relationship.... Just pray for guidance and enlightment. Take care!:)
@Lupuzinha (2)
• Brazil
5 Aug 07
your girlfrind love bears? love crazy? your is crazy my frindboy is muito bealtiful pq eu cuido muito bem dle. im new for your forum is my bealtiful mui lindo
