Inter-racial dating, good or bad??

Ugh..I wish ppl would step out of the 50s and join us here in 2007 ya know :-/ Maybe they THINK they are "protecting" you from something but that in itself shows how uneducated and racist they are (to at least some degree)...but the fact is there is nothing to protect you from any more than there is when it comes to someone of your own race....Do I think they are right in being unsupportive? absolutely NOT...if they ARE TRULY your friends and this person you love isnt an a$$ then they SHOULD be supportive of you not to mention happy for you! Is interracial dating bad? NO not at all...in fact I've always dated outside my race so to speak and the bottomline IMO is this...if YOU are happy and your partner is happy and you are both treating and being treated with love, respect, as equals by each other etc etc then how could it be bad??

Hi Michelle, First, I want you to know that I dont mean to offend you in any way. I can see from your post that your friends are not very supportive of you falling in love with someone of a different race and this seems to bother you a lot. I can understand that but have you tried asking your parents how they feel about this? I believe what they think and feel about this is more important that what your friends think. Maybe your parents will be supportive after all parents know what is best for you. Well as for me there is absolutlely nothing wrong with falling in love with someone not your race. Goodluck!

I believe that they believe that they are protecting you but are also naive in their way of thinking . Because someone is from a different race says nothing about who the person is , how well they treat you or what you might have in common . I don't believe you should give in to their way of thinking because they are ignorant in their way of thinking and you would be missing out on something that could very well be the best thing that ever happened to you . I don't believe the color or someone , the religion they are or anything else should be a factor is weather or not we love someone . Inside we are all the same no matter where we come from and we all have the ability to love and be there for each other and this is all that really should matter . Congratulations for finding someone you can love with all your heart and those that truely care about you will see for themselves that where one comes from doesn't matter as much as seeing you happy with someone who treats you well and someone who will do for you the same as you will do for them .

Well you can still listen to their advice but most importantly, follow your instincts. Besides, nobody will know your situation and understand how you feel. Furthermore, it's just dating only and you can then decide whether is he the right guy for you.

I personally think ,His Race,Creed or Color should not figure into Your Friends thinking ...They should be looking at Him to discover if He is a good Person that will be Good to You and if they think He loves You and wants to love You forever ...I would rather my best Friend be with a Man of any race, that loves and respects her than one of her own race that will treat her badly...besides my Parents taught us there is only One Race its called "The Human Race" If we look hard enough we see no matter our customs People the world over are pretty much the same ...Parents love Children and vice versa ...Friends care about Friends...personally if i were you i would ask your friends some tough questions and yourself too ...do you really want to be associating with Racists and how will that Make the One You love feel ... good luck i wish you every happiness toriaT

Here is the thing SuckerUpper in life we all have the freedom to believe what we want to believe. Wether your friends back you or not shouldn't factor into your decision because ultimately you are the one who has to deal with your decision you have to make the choice of wether you want to be in a interracial relationship.. Is it going to be easy No because there are some people who still believe that it is wrong and won't accept it and look down upon it .. So you have that to look forward to from some people. I think that you find that it would be a smaller majority than it would have be say 30-40 yrs ago. But none the less your going to come acrossed it. Do I think it's right for you friend to chose to be unsupportive. Yes and NO. Yes they have a right to feel whatever way they want about the situation. NO because they are your friend and should stand beside you no matter what decision you make. They should be able to voice their opinion and say I feel that this is a bad idea but when you tell them maybe for you it would be but for me I'm truly happy and like this person . That is when the true friend will back you no matter what . .True friends sit there in jail with you when you make the stupid mistakes. yeah they might be trying to protect you from what their narrow minded other firend and family have toaught them or they could be trying to protect from going through the judgemental people that are still out there and frown upon it. Now in my family my gram would kill me my step dad would kill me and that would be all ... But you know what if I found the perfect guy and it was someone out side my race or ethnic back ground pardon my french but F@$%k Them(meaning my step dad and gram) if that person made me happy and was good to me I would deal with the amount of crap that they would give because eventually they'll come around and if not it's there loss. I love my family and my firends but ultimately I have live with myself and for myself. So be happy with whatever decision you make but when you make you decision base it on yourself be utterly selfish and only think of you when you make the decision because you know what friends come and go and so do guys don't get me wrong but would you throw out the perfect relationship just because you have some sqeemish friends that aren't ok with who you with.. Remember your the one who is in a relationship with him not them ... They can do what ever they want in their relationships and you can do what ever you want in your relationship. Also think of this would you expect your friends to break up with someone just because you didn't see things the way they do? Ne happy make your decision based soley on your feeling about him and how this person treats you and how this person makes you feel not what other narrowminded neadrathalls think...

I think they are being racist. Why wouldn't they support you? They have to know the guy in order to 'protect' you from him. I've dated every race out there and I find ever single guy to be different. I have never stereotyped anyone and maybe thats what your friends are doing. The guy can be any color, religion, whatever but treat you like a Queen. I say if you really like the guy and you have fun with him then go for it. Forget your friends. I'm sure if he turns out be a great guy they will realize the mistake they have made by not accepting him.

your friend must have a reason why they dont want the guy for you. i think you must ask them for that and if you think that they have enough one then that's the time you should use your head agaist heart. but micheele, here in the philippines issue of race or nationality is not really a big deal. several of us here are blended with other nations. american (black & white), spanish, chinese, japanese, taiwanese, australian and many more.... it is not really a big deal when it comes to love. the only problem is how would you manage the changes in your life when you two decided to get married.. discuss where to live, the unusaul habits of each other, strange things that she/he does, the food, they way he/she talks, the way of thinking and lot more... but remember that if you love a person, even how hard the way to be in his/her side you will only feel exitement and joy discovering him/her and doing thing together with your love one is really a dream... michelle dont let other decide for your life. its your happiness that in risk.if they cant support you at least they should be always behind you to catch you if you fall. that's the real friend for me. ^_^

If you are in love they should be supportive if they are your friends, and accept him as part of your life. It's who is inside that is important, not the color of their skin.

Some peopl tend to be afraid of what they don't know and what isn't familiar to them. Maybe have a get to know you dinner so that your friend get to know this person. Once they get to know him a bit better they will probably be okay with things.

I guess it should not be of an issue. I know that my parents would rather me stick with a man of my own race. However, now, I'm also in a different situation. They did not mind too much because me and my boy friend are of similar race. He's a Korean and I'm a Chinese. My parents did not mind too much with this though. I think perhaps they are just trying to protect you in some ways. Its difficult. Even for me, there are many issues to resolve and its getting on our nerves sometimes. Well, lets hope love conquers all.

I wonder why this is still a problem? IT shouldn't be such a big deal anymore. My family is hispanic, one sister is married to a white guy, one sister is married to a hispanic guy, and my other sister is going out with a black guy. I guess it is more common for people with browner skin to have relationships, but it shoudln't be.

i think they are probably trying to protect you but don't realise there is no need. They sound to be quite naive and narrowminded, which maybe is because of the place they live or the way they have been brought up so they know no different. However if they were good friends they should support you in any decision you make. As for whether i think an inter racial relationship is good or bad- to be honest no more than a same race relationship, the colour of someones skin does not make them the person they are. If it didn't work out chances are you just weren't compatible, and I am sure there are many people of your race you are not compatible with either. i don't think race should ever be a problem but maybe religion, for example a partner had extreme religious veiws that you weren't in agreement with then this could cause problems later, he may not approve with things you consider normal. Also there would be the issue of the childrens religions. For example i am not religious and it is possible i could fall in love with someone who was a johovas witness( just first religion to come to mind) now i have always celebrated christmas and bithdays and would want any children i have to celebrate to, but thier dad wouldn't agree so this could be an issue also blood transfusions and i am sure that there are many other differences in different religions that could cause problems.

im my opinion there is nothing wrong with inter-racial dating, as long as the individuals are open minded & they get along together you cant go wrong. no one can tell you what to do especially your lovelife, your the master of your own will. A true friend will not be a hindrance to your happiness, they should respect & support you in your decisions.

Love= good. Segregation= bad.They're trying to protect you from their own fear.As long as the person is good to you and who you want, more power to ya.

Well I really think that your friends might be doing more harm than protecting you. Remember one thing and that is that you know the guy better than all of them and it is upto you to decide whether he is that someone special that you seek, just because he is of a different race does not mean that he is bad that would in fact be a racist remark! Some people feel very strongly about their race and then there are some that are ready to accept people no matter from where they are. So here I would advise you to take the judgement yourself, after all variety is the spice of life ;)

I don't think inter-racial dating is necessarily bad. Though I do think cultural differences in a relationship can be very bad and lead to many problems that extend beyond the two people in the relationship. I am older and have been around the block a few times to have learned that the most important thing about a relationship is to make sure you are compatible on enough levels to matter. If you are dating just to date, then cool. If you are dating to find a mate, do a little demographic checking before falling head long into what might never be a meaningful relationship or even lead to discomfort or worse. To answer your question about your friends - if they are life long friends and know you as well as you know yourself, then they are most-likely definitely trying to protect you as well as they know how.

I thing marriages of different race or religion work if both of you are willing to give a bit. I am English and a baptist. I married an Irish man who was Catholic. When we got married it was in a catholic church and our children are bought up catholic. Our marriage did not survive as he was not able to take in any of my culture and ways. In the end I left as it was too much one way. Like you my friends tried to give me advice but I did not listen but then I would not of had my beautiful children if I had. I would say follow your heart. If it does not work then move on but at least you wont be spending the rest of your life wondering 'What if'

Since they are your friends, i would assume that their intent is to protect you. Sadly, in some areas, such things are still a big deal and will probably have to be tough skinned to deal with the ignorance of such people. Is it wrong?...absolutely not! If you love the man then be with him and hold your head high! By bowing down and giving in to the veiws of the racist, we are only contributing to the problem when we should be all working together to do our part in eliminating it. If your friends are really friends, they will stand by you regardless of your decision. You should talk to them to find out just why they feel as they do.

What I can say is, your friends are just protecting you. They are, in no way jealous of you. They may not have had friends who encounter such an experience and they are afraid you might get hurt in the end. In any case, they are just being protective and that's normal. As to what you have mentioned, having an inter-racial relationship works for me. I can get to learn so many things. In relationships, its all about compromising.