Can You Count On Your Friend's?
By Rozie37
@Rozie37 (15499)
Turkmenistan
August 11, 2007 1:05am CST
We all know that friend's are the family that you choose, not just accept. So can you count on your friends to be there when you need them? There are some people who call themselves your friend, but they really don't know the meaning of the word, so they don't keep their word.
For instance, there are friends that say that they are going to call you back and you don't talk to them again until you make the call. They will say that they are coming over and never show up. They can be nice people whom you really want as a friend, but you can not trust them to do what they say they are going to do.
Some friends always have an excuse and you feel like you have heard it all. You want them to take the friendship as serious as you do, but they treat you as if you are making a big deal out of nothing.
Do you know any friends like that or are you that type of friend? I would like to hear from the ones who are treated like that and the ones who treat others like that. I want to know what motivates them to keep saying things and not doing it. I am not angry, I just feel that I want to get a sneak peak into the mind of someone who is like this.
8 people like this
21 responses
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
11 Aug 07
I have very good friends, however they are very few. I look more at quality of friendship than quantity. I have had friends do just as you said, and to me these are not friends, not really good ones at least. I used to get angry, but for what? Why waste your energy on something like that. Some people are very self involved and don't realize how rude they are sometimes. I know we have all been guilty of that, but I as a person and friend try not to be that way, because I know w hat the receiving end feels like.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
12 Aug 07
I know what you mean. I have always been the type of person that feels a strong need to keep my word, when I don't, I feel very burdened until I make things right.
You can ruin a child's entire future by not keeping your word. I have seen fathers do it to their children on a regular basis. The kids grow up with low self esteem and it is hard to convince them that you are sincere and that they are worth it.
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
14 Aug 07
Yes, your right, it is very important to keep your word, especially with your children because it does make your kids lose their self importance if you keep breaking your word or making empty promises. that is a good way of looking at it.
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
25 Aug 07
Thank you so much for the best response rating! I truly appreciate it and am honored. So, heres to good friends and good topics!
@prognastat (24)
• Netherlands
11 Aug 07
I have a few really good friend who I always trust but I've got quite a few people I know wich I wouldn't really call friends but I like to hang out with them once a while. They aren't the people I would trust with everything, but that isn't always needed just to have a good time.
1 person likes this
@prognastat (24)
• Netherlands
14 Aug 07
Yeah I'll admit I preferr to hang out with the ones I would call my real friends, but sometimes it can be quite fun hanging out with some other people. The only difference is I won't be sharing personal information with them or anything.
1 person likes this
@globell45 (142)
• United States
12 Aug 07
sometimes, if your friend has family, it can be hard for them to be the true friend they and you desire. Unfortuneatly, family obligations must come first, then friendship.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
14 Aug 07
I am blessed and honored to have wonderful friends. now i don't have many, but the few i have are people who have been around for years and years and I love and treasure. I have had people that i knew who would are the kind of people you described, but they are not or will ever have the wonderful title as friend
@brew2x (3094)
• Philippines
25 Aug 07
There is this saying that if you have more than one true friend then you are really lucky. I think there are different types of friends. There are those who are with you during happy times but will not going to help you during times of need. And there are friends who will always be with you no matter what.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
11 Aug 07
I have a few very good friends and I must admit I have been been there for them many times but to be honest it seems that when I need someone they just are not there, I guess most people have a lot more on their plate than I do, it is a little bit sad really so I have learnt to cope on my own...
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
12 Aug 07
Sometimes I believe that there are people that are that for us and then there are people that we are there for and they aren't always the same people. Then at other times, I feel that this is all a bunch of bull and if you are there for your friends, then they should be there for you also.
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
11 Aug 07
Friends are alot, but how many are true friends, that, in my opinion, is more important. I cherish all my friends and I value true friends more. As friends, we accept their habits, either desireable or undesireable. We do not demand that they adhere to our requests. Yes, there are bound to be squabbles, but friends forgive and forget. Through it, there is give and take and mutual understanding and we bond more. I can proudly say I can count on my friends, though just a handful.
1 person likes this
@beckish (641)
• United States
11 Aug 07
I have one friend that I can count on, no matter what happens. We can go years without talking to each other, but when one of us needs something the other is always there and it is like no time has passed since we last talked to each other. Most of my friends are "fair weather friends". Since I know that in advance I don't end up hurt or disappointed in them.
1 person likes this
@thathalazarini (486)
• Brazil
15 Aug 07
Yes, with some of them you really can
But some of them...
You can choose to have many friends, but the fact is only 2 or 3 will always really be there when you need them
That's why people say there's a difference between the friends we choose. Some friends are only for parties, other friends only for work time and then the other friends who are the ones you can count on whenever you need them
1 person likes this
@puchapox (579)
• Philippines
11 Aug 07
I guess I'm lucky to have friends I can count on. I have a lot, but I consider a few my closest friends. They really help me a lot whenever I feel down and lonely. I think its because I'm really choosy when it comes to who I would open my life to, and I take pride in being a true friend as well.
For instance few months back when I was so down in luck, one of my friends referred me to his work, so now I am once again earning money. Another friend paid my credit card bill when I didn't have money. I never asked them to do so, they just volunteered, since they know they can trust me. This friend was someone I sticked with when he was ostracized and he depended on me a lot. I guess friendship is about give and take, we get what we give. :)
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
12 Aug 07
This is what friendship is all about. I believe that whatever it is that you need, that is what you need to give. If you want someone who keeps their word, you have to keep yours. If you want attention, give attention.
I always say if each person in the relationship concerns himself with the others needs and not his own, then they both will always be fulfilled. But if one gives and the other one takes, it will not work.
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
11 Aug 07
Hi Rozie37! I have a few friends whom I really call my best friends...they were there when I needed them and I am always at their side when they needed me. However, over the years we seem to see less and less of each other...and when the times I badly needed them, I can't seem to get to reach out for them. I guess, we all have different lives now and they are busy with their own...maybe they have their own problems too that they have to sort out on their own...I learn to stand and cope up all by myself. Yes, it's kinda lonely when friends seem to desert you but who knows, maybe they are just as lonely as I am trying to survive in this crazy world. But I am still lucky, for there was a time when we all have the time in the world to be with each other, and I will cherish that forever. Have a nice day and take care.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
12 Aug 07
Sometimes we need to reach out to them first. If you are both sitting there wondering and no one ever attempts contact, then the relationship is bound to fizzel. I know for me, when I care about someone and I miss them, I do what it takes to keep contact, even if it means phone tag for a few days.
@sefnopre29 (143)
• Philippines
26 Aug 07
i am not one of them, every people are different. for you not to get mad at them, just don't trust them and don't believe on what they say. i have friends like that before but I stopped seeing them. i don't want to be in their company, if ever we saw each other it is just by accident and I don't stay long to talk with them. i can't stand their presence.
1 person likes this
@Buggheart (445)
• United States
11 Aug 07
I have just a few close friends that I think I can count on but I think I would have to specifically tell them "hey I really need you right now" in order for them to act. My best friend tends to fall off the face of the earth for months at a time and I don't hear from her for weeks and months. But she has always been like this and I've just gotten used to it. Fortunately I have not had many moments in my life where I have needed to lean on my friends. Most recently when my dad was dying and received a liver transplant I notified all of my friends but no one called, no one came, no one said anything about it, asked if there was anything they could do to help. And that really hurt. About a week later my best friend called to see if everything was OK but for the most part I just dealt with it on my own and with my family.
So I have a few friends but I don't think they'd come running if I needed them. Which is kind of sad but what can I do?
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
14 Aug 07
It is very hard for even the best of friends to deal with the subject of dying. It makes people feel very uncomfortable. It is even more hard when someone is losing a parent. You don't know what to do or say. You afraid that if you do say or do something you might make it worse.
I am not making excuses, because I would be there know matter what. I believe that if there is ever a time that a friend is needed it is then, but that is the same thing that makes it so hard to be there. Am I making sense? None of us are so tough that the thought of our own mortality does not affect us when faced with this.
I would try very hard not to judge my friends by this because it is something that affects everyone so deeply.
@Shaun72 (15959)
• Palatka, Florida
14 Aug 07
I have had a few friends like this myself. Ones that are there when they need you but if you need them they change. It is like they use you to get what they want and need for them. I have had a few of these myself. I would put up with it for a while untill I get tired of being and feeling used and then I just stop going around them myself.
@Lifeless (2635)
• India
12 Aug 07
Yeah, my best friends are the ones on whom I can count on. We have always been together, and whatever we did, we did that together. We have been together in the thick of times, so i dpn't find a reason why they won't be there when I would need them. Its hard to find such friends in real life, but when u do get them, try not losing them...
1 person likes this
@deep_enjoy (237)
• India
11 Aug 07
Ya i'm careful about friends i even make new friends and don't give him a chance to get upset because of me. But as u say not all of them are good friends start yellin out things.
Then i start my chapter of fooling them. In short i become what they are
Thats The Way It Works................!
1 person likes this
@jainaewen (170)
• Philippines
11 Aug 07
i think nowadays its hard to trust a friend.even your bestfriend.but its really like that learn to give your trust.friends can help us through many different situations in life.but im happy i got a real faithful true friend.thank God for that.
1 person likes this
