are you ready to get married?

@lisa_wxy (393)
China
August 11, 2007 7:56am CST
i am already 25 years old.And around this year,most of my high school classmates married or are going to get married.I feel happy for them. nowadays,my classmates or friends phoned or saw me on the internet,they would ask that when are you going to get married? That is really a serious problem for me. My boy friend and i have been in love with each other for more than three years.and we love each other.but we don't think we are ready for marriage. in our opinions,marriage is not only the relationship between us,but also including other things,especially in China,such as parents,relatives......sometimes they don't help a lot for marriage but damage.many couples broke up in end. so,if you plan to get married,please think about it very seriously.
3 people like this
19 responses
• Indonesia
11 Aug 07
I am married with my boyfriend a week ago. We have been in a relationship for 4 years until we decided to tie the knots. We have thinking about that since a year ago and planned everything, especially as you say, in my country too there are lots involved, the parents, family members, friends etc... I am glad that everything is running well so far. I couldn't say anything at all because we are just married for a week. I hope that this will be last forever. Let me tell you about a commercial breaks in my country: There are lots of people in a wedding asking for a man about when he is about to get married because all of his friends are married. The man answer: " May! " and everybody think it will be in the month of May... while he continued: " MAYbe yes, MAYbe no! It works for me, as a joke of course, when I am not yet married and my friends keep asking when will I get married. I answered "May" and continued Maybe yes maybe no!
@lisa_wxy (393)
• China
12 Aug 07
well,you give me a good suggestion. hehe,from now on,if my friends ask me this question again, i would answer "may".
@bojo96 (46)
• United States
11 Aug 07
My husband and I were together almost 4 years before we got married. Most of our friends married within the first year of being with someone. After 11 years...we are the only couple still married. (This is out of 7 other couples) It is a good thing that you and your boyfriend are both mature enough to realize it isn't the right time to marry, even if you love each other. When someone asks when are you going to get married...ask them "Why do you ask?" Most people aren't going to admit that they were being nosy, so you can move the conversation on to another topic. :)
@lisa_wxy (393)
• China
12 Aug 07
thanks for your advice. yes,we want our marriage be as long as our life,just as your. wish you couples happy everyday!
@puchapox (583)
• Philippines
11 Aug 07
I know how you feel. I'm also 25, and I have a very loving boyfriend of 4 years. We have plans to get married, but not soon (he's away, in canada.) We both agreed that we have to make sure everything is settled, that is, we're both financially capable to raise a family. Before he left for canada he wanted for us to marry but I didn't agree knowing that there is no enough reason for us to marry at that time.
@lisa_wxy (393)
• China
12 Aug 07
Yes,you are right. my bf and i do think that we should marry when we are financially ready for marriage. we want to give each other better life.
@wasons (303)
• China
12 Aug 07
i am a chinese too,i understand your situation.i think your parents doesn't like your boyfriend,and at the age of 25 for girl isn't young yet,but if you have the partner who loves you and would marry you in future,that isn't any peoblem.most classmates of mine haven't merried yet,not only boys but alsp girls,so you can take it easy just to make your parents and ralatives to accept your boyfriend,i am 25 too,even if my mother worry about my marriage but i am not,maybe i am boy and i think for the first i have to earn enough money to build up a family,so i won't marry in 2 or 3 years. so don't worry about it,best wish!
• India
12 Aug 07
No, not at all. I am just 23 years old. I have to attain my dreams. I think the best age to get married is when you become totally mature adult with total financially independent.
• United States
12 Aug 07
I do not believe in marriage. I think that marriage is a joke. Yes, there are some happy married couples out there, but I come from a family who has their last name written all over divorce court. So, am I ready to get married? Do I want to be married? No!
@skydancer (2018)
• United States
12 Aug 07
I am content being single my whole life. But everyone I know is getting married and having children and it does kind of make you (or me at least) feel a little left out on a social level, not favoring the same path and approach to life as they do. I have been pressured to get married when I'm older and have kids, but I know myself well enough to just know it is not a lifestyle that would work well for me. This is by no means a bitter swipe at people who wish to live as such - I commend them and wish them well all the same.
@chippy49 (171)
• United States
12 Aug 07
I really dont think that it depends on age, instead I think it depends on the fact that you are really, really happy with being with that person and wanting to have the rest of your life spent with that person. I had a boyfriend before I met my husband, I was with this person for 4 years and I though he might be the one. He did ask me to marry him twice and I said no that we were not ready etc. And, I am glad that I waited because I then met my husband that treated me way better than my boyfriend did, and I just at that time did not think that there was anyone better for me than my boyfriend. Well now 8 years and two kids later with my husband. I am grateful that I did not make the mistake with my ex-boyfriend. As soon as I met my now husband I just knew that he was the one. Dont base it on age, base it on love and willing to commit forever....Good luck.
@globell45 (143)
• United States
12 Aug 07
I agree with you.
• India
12 Aug 07
hey..u realy need to put some time to think about the issue of marriage...1st thing is that is it not a compulsory tradition in ur society...second thing is that are you finding yourself to live alone through ur whole life... anf if it is not so..then its time to give a thought on this.. just start thinking logically that what u expect from ur life...what u expect from ur life partner...then ty to figure out the intensity of ur relation ship...dont go with the point that it will end up into a breakpff...it is not true always...it depends on the level of understanding...
@jainaewen (170)
• Philippines
11 Aug 07
yes i am ready for marriage.
@mkirby624 (1599)
• United States
11 Aug 07
My husband and I had been dating for 3 years and 3 months when we got married. We've been married for a little over a year now. We were 22 when we got married. I had just graduated from college and gotten my first job, he will graduate this December. Though we don't have a lot of money, I know it was the right decision to make. Our parents don't agree to us living together before marriage, so it would have been a huge waste of money NOT to get married since we would be living in the same town and, most likely, staying at one person's place the entire time anyway. We were ready to get married mentally and emotionally, and I don't think I would be any more financially stable is I was single. I know he wouldn't be since he just works part time.
@rouwel23 (1353)
• Philippines
11 Aug 07
you will always be not ready, there will always be reason for hesitation. that is why marriage is both exciting and risky. but take the risk, you might have seen the joys of risk takers. dont tiptoe around the tulips, risk. as long as you love one another, even though all the world hates your union, you can fight for it. and together both of you can fight for it. love would be the reason, enough reason to fight for.
@maehan (1445)
• United States
11 Aug 07
You are doing the right move. Be ready before married. For me, I get married at the age of 26. But, we do not stay together as both of our job required to travel extensively. Thus, we take about 4 years to settle down.
@kulotzki (61)
• Philippines
11 Aug 07
No, not yet. maybe three to four years from now. i have a lot of things to consider first.we have to be stable before we commit a full time relationship. and also, we have to enjoy our lives, the years run very quickly in these world today, so we have to enjoy first our life, not in bad things but in good and responsible intentions.
• China
11 Aug 07
I's three years younger than you.My boyfriend and I have talked about marriage several times.We all love each other and want to marry.However,as what you say,marriage doesn't mean love only,it contains too much things.We should consider parents,relatives,others' opinions and so on.Marriage is important for everyone.I don't want to decide it too quickly.
• Singapore
11 Aug 07
Hey there, my ideal age of marriage is around 32. An age where I feel I am financially stable and able to provide for a family and also, if I have found someone that I cant live without =).
• Italy
11 Aug 07
i think today is really hard to get married, first there is no really intention in the couple and than life cost to much.i think that marriage must the fruit of a carrefull decision
• Malaysia
11 Aug 07
Yeah...why not. For sure marriage is not like playing game as it is a serious social contract. So if you are not ready, better don't.