I know this is going to be deleted but I wanted to share

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A Stitcher Goes to [That Hot Place] Source Unknown, rewritten by Martha Beth Lewis A stitcher was very naughty in this earthly life and didn't go to heaven. At the gates of Hades, she was met by the Devil. "Welcome," he said, smirking at her. "Let me show you around your eternal home." Down dark, dank halls they went. From various doors came weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth, shrieks of agony, and all manner of terrifying sounds of torment. At this point, the stitcher was getting pretty nervous. "Here we are. Right throught that door," said Satan, making her push it open. She could scarely budge it, but, after pushing with all her strength (biceps from carrying home bags of stash and quads from sprinting around needlework stores gathering it), the door swung open, as if on oiled hinges. She thought, I'll bet he purposely made the door heavy. This did not portend well for her portion of eternal torment. He led her to a large room that looked uncannily like a large needlework shop. The stitcher blinked her eyes, wondering if what she saw was an illusion. The most wonderful needlework shop she had ever seen was right before her. Still unbelieving, she asked, "Is this real?" "Of course," murmured the Evil One. "Reach out and touch it." The stitcher worried that she'd be zapped by 1000 volts, but she reached out anyway, unable to help herself. It -was- real! All of it! "May I look around?" she asked excitedly, all the while thinking, This can't be Hell! This is too good! "Of course," said the Devil. "This is your eternal reward." The stitcher began to survey the particulars of her damnation. There was every chart ever published, including the ones that were out of print during her lifetime and the ones she could never find. There was a full run of each needlework magazine, including all the old ones with the historical examples - - and each issue was pristine! She continued to look with wonder. Every thread imaginable was there: silks and silk twists, cottons, metallics, pearl cottons, space-dyeds, rayons, rayon twists (Yes, maybe I -am- in Hell, she thought when she saw those!), blending filaments and braids and ribbons, furry threads, frond-y thread, tubular nylon, Japan thread, and every other specialty thread that had ever been created. Her eyes lit up when she saw the piles and piles of fabrics. There were bolts and bolts of every color and every type. An array of beautiful thimbles was hers for the choosing, as were scissors and clever needlework gadgets; all were organized just as she would have done it on earth, had she had such a glittering array. And there, beside her favorite earthly stitching chair, were all her UFOs! Yes, she thought, you -can- take it with you! I have all the time I want now, and I'm going to finish them at last! The stitcher's fingers were just itching to get going! She turned to Beelzebub and said, "This is -heaven-!!!" "No," he rejoined. "This is Hell. Do you see any needles?"