I don't know...a son marrying his stepmother after dad dies......

@LCecelia (1124)
United States
August 17, 2007 5:53pm CST
I guess truth is stranger than fiction. I read a letter in a Dear Abby's column today from a stepson who is thinking of having a relationship and possibly marrying his (former) stepmother. My one thought was, isn't he concerned about her comparing him to his father? Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode. The one where Monica had an affair with an older guy and after they broke up she went on a date with the son but couldn't stop comparing the two. Anyway back to the letter. The son explains that the "stepmother" is actually younger than he is. And there was nothing between them when dad was alive except friendship. Oh and she didn't have any children with his dad. Color me old fashioned but there are just some lines one should NEVER cross! I didn't tell you Dear Abby's response, and I quote: What you have in mind is unusual but not unheard of. You are not her biological son, so there is no reason why you could not marry if you wish. In fact, it could work out very well since your feelings for each other evolved from an already-established friendship. I say, go for it - but be prepared for some teasing. End quote. So am I the only one who is weirded out by this???
2 people like this
13 responses
• United States
17 Aug 07
Nope - it seems odd to me as well. Unless they are both maybe looking to pool a large inheritance into a huge one - you never know peoples greed is just that way - I can't think of any reason why this should seem normal to people. I once worked with a guy who had married his step sister - granted they didn't meet until they were 18 and 17, and didn't really grow up together, but still - they did end up in quite a messy little divorce with splitting between the family like crazy and sucky situations for the holidays, so something like this seems to be entirely too nuts to even comprehend thinking about doing to me. Yeah, totally weirded out as well, wouldn't ever even think of doing it myself!
@LCecelia (1124)
• United States
17 Aug 07
That's too funny...I read a romance book way back in my teenage years about a couple in that very same relationship!!
• United States
17 Aug 07
Wasn't that one titled "I am my Own Grandpa?"
@LCecelia (1124)
• United States
18 Aug 07
I don't remember. As they say here in the US...I've slept since then! :-)
• China
18 Aug 07
I think it's weird. But I have heard a more weird story, that a woman married with his fater-in-law, and her first husband didn't die, and they has a son. Oh, I don't know what does her son call her now husband, grandfather or father. I really cann't image it.
@suzieque (2334)
• Canada
18 Aug 07
Basically she has a son with her first husband. So her new husband (ex-husband's father) is her son's biological grandfather, and stepfather now. Talk about strange.
@LCecelia (1124)
• United States
18 Aug 07
I read this a number of times and the nearest I can figure is that the child between the woman and her father-in-law is her ex-husband's brother.????
@UnAUnO (106)
• United States
18 Aug 07
thats just gross so that means they been doing it since the father was alive
@LCecelia (1124)
• United States
18 Aug 07
According to the son...they weren't.
@wiccania (3360)
• United States
18 Aug 07
Not necessarily. They could have developed their relationship further during the grieving process.
• United States
18 Aug 07
Yeah, thats a little terrible. I mean yeah, they can do it and get away with it and not have it be weird and gross insestual. But what about the rest of the family? What are they going to say or think. Its kind of a slap in the face to his father from both of them. From the son b/c well, its his dads WIFE! Out of pure respect to his father, that should not be done. And as for her, Out of respect to her husband and to show that shes not some scum bag who didnt care about him. If they really like eachother and what not though, they can make it work as long as shes not comparing him or only going for him b/c hes so much like his dad. I gues sthey are about the same age. Who knows, she could have married his father to get to him. Anyway, i think its weird also.
@LCecelia (1124)
• United States
19 Aug 07
You said a mouth full there. :-)
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
18 Aug 07
no, i find this as odd as you do...sounds like a story right out of law and order!! sheesh what else will happen?
@LCecelia (1124)
• United States
19 Aug 07
Be careful what you ask...it just may happen. :-)
@xmichx (109)
• Philippines
18 Aug 07
It is weird but I believe that love does not choose a situation or a person. He didn't want to love her step mother like that it just came to him so I think he better follow his heart and be prepare for the consequences.
@LCecelia (1124)
• United States
18 Aug 07
I think I read/heard once that love is a choice... I do believe in love at "first sight," however I do think that in the overall scheme of things, love IS a choice.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
18 Aug 07
I think it was a bit odd that his dad, in the first place, married someone who was younger than his son. This is definitely strange. But I guess that considering how many different possible ways there are of meeting a new love interest, and how many people are ending up with step families, it was bound to happen to someone.
@LCecelia (1124)
• United States
18 Aug 07
You're so right.
@wiccania (3360)
• United States
18 Aug 07
She's right though... there's no blood relationship, so it's not really a horrible thing. Would I ever consider dating my step-dad if my mom passed away? No way in he!!. I love the man, but as far as I'm concerned, he's my dad. By the way, it was Friends, not Seinfeld. Monica dated Richard (Tom Selleck) and then invited his son over for Thanksgiving dinner and they kissed and she was just weirded out by it.
@LCecelia (1124)
• United States
18 Aug 07
Yes...that's right. I couldn't think of Tom Selleck. I was a Friends fan too. Thanks. Regardless of the fact that there is not blood line, I still can't get past the fact that she was his (step)mother.
@taylorblue (1286)
• Canada
17 Aug 07
OMG that really weirded me out. What the heck is wrong with the son? I wouldn't want anything my dad or mom touched. I even told my mom that!! lOl...I don't know but that is just rude to the deceased dad I think.
@LCecelia (1124)
• United States
18 Aug 07
That's too funny. :-) I know what you mean!
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
18 Aug 07
Yes, I agree with you on this. to me it is weird but in todays society...not so much. The lines of what is ok and what is not have been so blurred over time that this is nothing really. In all fairness, he probably never looked at this woman as a step-mother as she probably never really played the "mom" role in his life. In my family my girls were young when I married their step-dad who had 3 boys. They always looked at these boys as "brothers" even tho there was no blood relation, it would be gross to them to even consider a relationship. Now when they hear of someone getting involved with a step brother or sister they think of their steps and go "eeew!!", never pausing to think these siblings may have met much older and never been raised to feel as siblings. Each situation is unique.
@LCecelia (1124)
• United States
18 Aug 07
That's my point...eeew!!!!! :-)
@Daelin (683)
• Brazil
18 Aug 07
In my country it would be against the law. The stepmother is considered as a mother and even if the father and the stepmother gets divorced she will never be a former stepmother.
@LCecelia (1124)
• United States
18 Aug 07
I don't there's any such law here in the US. Too bad.
@peanutjar (5198)
• Canada
18 Aug 07
What is this?,another Jerry Springer episode?My first thought would be,was he rocked too close to the wall or what?Some people dont care about this kind of stuff,but theres worse than this,picture a cousin&cousin or brother and sister.Now,thats much more weird than 2 people that are not blood related.
@LCecelia (1124)
• United States
18 Aug 07
LOL LOL I was reminded of the book Flowers in the Attic where the brother and sister did eventually get together. Real life to fiction to science?
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
18 Aug 07
Well, that was pretty odd. I guess, good for them, but I hope they really aren't rushing into this. As always, I do wish them the best, but I really can't get my head around it all. Very very weird.
@LCecelia (1124)
• United States
18 Aug 07
That's the phrase I was looking for...I couldn't get my head around this. Thanks!