My lover wants to have a three way!
By cyberopjames
@cyberopjames (483)
United States
August 19, 2007 5:22pm CST
A friend of ours that was married to the famale that lives across the street. He is Bi. He come over last night to ask if Jay and I would be willing to have a three way with him. Jay wanted to have the three way but I don't like when other people put hands on my lover or me. Jay and our friend would not take no for an answer, infact I had already gone to bed and was asleep when he showed up to our door around 2am. I did get mad and tell him that it was not going to happen. Help, can someone give some advice or tell me if this has ever happen to you.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
19 Aug 07
If you aren't into it, then your lover should respect that. If he doesn't, then obviously he isn't respecting you either. In this case, I would say "If you really want to be with this other person, then you can do it on your own, and our relationship can be over." That sounds a little harsh, but trying to push you into a three-way that you aren't interested in isn't something your partner should be doing, and it doesn't show much love or respect for you.
@cyberopjames (483)
• United States
19 Aug 07
We have been together 8 years next month and yes I have put on little pounds but at the same time I am loosing them. I do get the feeling that he dose not see me in that light any more. When I say something about it, he just tells me that the honey moon is over. I can't say that I have not thought about a three way, but his choice of guys is so different then mine. Not to go into details. He will not allow somethings to happen that I like to do.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
20 Aug 07
*nods* It sounds like your partner might be thinking of this threesome as a way to spice things up a bit too, if the "honeymoon is over". But it really bothers me that he seems to want to push the issue. I've been in that situation before, where I did things sexually I didn't want to do in order to save a relationship, and it always turned out to be a mistake. Maybe you should just tell your partner that while you're not completely against a threesome, you're just not interested in this guy, and want to make a choice together instead.
I can understand about having differences in what you would allow to happen sexually. Everyone has different rules and limits, and trying to figure out how to compromise with a partner whose limits are different from yours is difficult. My husband and I were in a polyamorous relationship for a while, and it took a lot of talking and a lot of working on it to figure out exactly what it was everyone wanted and could accept. Good luck!
@christies2boys (560)
• United States
20 Aug 07
Hello my friend. Never let anyone push you into something that you don't want to do. Maybe the honeymoon is over, but your lover needs to respect your feelings. You two really need to talk this out.Because I see you getting hurt in this mess.I hope that things get better.
@SuckerUpper (468)
• United States
20 Aug 07
Im not so sure if it is a good idea. If he wants to invite someone else into your life like that... He will most likely like the other person more than you like them, and both of them will probably be together more than you... Its kinda hard to explain but if you ever decide to go through with it, just make sure that it is someone you BOTH like, yes a relationship is about compromise, but you should at least be somewhat happy about the situation, right???
Maybe the two of you should talk about it more and my some rules or guidelines to follow
@nehrlas (202)
• United States
20 Aug 07
WOW! I find that to be so bold to just come out and ask you like that, not to mention going behind, or trying to go behind you, and meet up with Jay.
I guess, having friends in this "world", it worries me that Jay wants to experiment and you want nothing to do with it. Is there any compromise for you on experimenting?
