Does your spouse watch too much television and ignore you?

United States
August 19, 2007 6:35pm CST
Does your spouse spend too much time watching television or doing his favorite hobby? Does that take time away from you? Does it make you feel jealous? As for me, I would definitely feel jealous. If my spouse shared a hobby that took him away from the house, like bowling, and he insisted on doing that during his spare time instead of taking time with the family, then my feelings would most certainly be hurt. Currently my spouse and I share the same hobbies, we both love working on the computer. Unfortunately, that has also been the source of much tension in our household. Funny how you can be in the same room with someone, yet that person is a million miles away in a world of their own. That's how it feels when he is working on the computer. You could literally walk up to him and talk and he wouldn't even know you were in the room. Sometimes I worry because it interferes with family time and we all miss out on seeing each other. I guess it could be worse if he actually liked watching television. That little electronic box has claimed many men, especially on football night! At least I'm not a football widow. I have some things to feel lucky about. So, what would you do if your husband or boyfriend had a hobby like watching television or bowling, that required him to spend time away from you or your family? Would you be jealous? Would you ask him not to do his hobby so much? How would you handle the situation?
3 people like this
14 responses
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
20 Aug 07
Hi beautyqueen26! It has been a problem with me before. You see my hubby is an artist and when he has a project, he totally is oblivious to the world. He immersed fimself completely in his work that he forgets that I am there. I used to get so annoyed and I felt taken for granted big time. Before I usually showed him that I am really getting irritated and he gets so angry that he tells me that I nag too much. However, it came to the point that I got tired of the fighting and he was taken aback with my silence and sadness. He comforted me and explained why he is like that. Well, I did gave him the understanding and support he needed. We just needed some open communication and a validation of what each others' feelings. We respect each others' space and individuality and learn to accept each others' flaws and faults.Now, we are having a great time with each other whether we are both busy with different things or just trying to pass the time. Take care and have a nice day!
• United States
22 Aug 07
I know that feeling of isolation! It is not a pleasant way to live. That is for sure. I am happy thing have worked out for you.
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
20 Aug 07
My husband can't multi-task. If he's watching TV, he doesn't have a clue what else is going on. If he's on the computer, same thing. It does bug me sometimes, but I know that if I really need to talk to him, I can just turn the TV or the monitor off. For the most part, he doesn't spend that much time on his computer anymore, unless Elliott is napping and I'm working or sleeping as well. And as far as watching TV, we like the same things for the most part. So I just know that I will be the one making sure Elliott isn't getting into anything while we watch TV as a family. I won't let him watch TV if he hasn't spent much time with us that week, though.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Aug 07
Sounds like you have things well organized and in hand. Good for you! My spouse has lately tried to spend more time with us as a family. But, when he does spend time on the computer, it's as if he's on another planet. It used to be lots worse though.
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
20 Aug 07
Luckly, Hubby and I seem to like the same things. We both spend alot of time on the net...and share our office so we can talk and spend time together too. And we normally spend our evenings watching movies...most of which we both agree on. There are times when he will play games and I'll go sew and watch a movie. But for the most part we spend our time together. I've known alot of women that have become game widows...Everquest being a big one. I've known ppl that have given up their marriages, kids, jobs and everything for that game. I played for about 6 months and may play again one day but for now I've taken a break and closed my account. I just have too many other things I like to do as well. I don't think I'd like it if Hubby and I had seperate hobbies. I like that we spend our time together and share things. AT PEACE WITHIN
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Aug 07
I have heard those games are really addictive. I'm glad things are working out for you though.
@KrisNY (7591)
• United States
24 Aug 07
Ok--- being on the computer too much is worse in my opinion- than being a football widow- Football is on 2 days a week- the computer is always there- My sig. other watches football but not often- I watch it more often than he does- He actually does not spend a lot of time away or doing other things- we do most things together- we both enjoy a lot of the same things- so we are both lucky!
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
23 Aug 07
I actually don't mind it when he watches tv after he gets home from work. It helps him to wind down and relax especially if he has had a hard day. In the weekends we have family time and spend it either at home or out and about doing whatever we feel like. When my son is asleep, sometimes we watch a movie together and sit on the couch and snuggle together. That is always nice to do once in a while.
@taylorblue (1286)
• Canada
22 Aug 07
My husband is always watching TV or playing the Xbox 360 and I get really bored fast because we don't watch anything the same except Big Brother. So I tape it during the week and watch it with him on the weekend. But I had it because i'm on the computer or he is watching tv and I am just sitting there waiting for him to talk to me. He says its the other way around but I don't think so!
@daryljane (3437)
• Philippines
22 Aug 07
well, with my past relationship, im the one who's a tv lover..i tend to ignore him even that there are times he shuts the tv off just to get my attention..we have to argue about it more a lot of times..and we have to compromise also...
@mistissa (1350)
• Netherlands
22 Aug 07
It is not really taht he watches too much tv, but he will never listen when spoken to while he is watching. It is just like he's gone to another planet whenever the tv is on.
@sacmom (14250)
• United States
21 Aug 07
Yes, I get jealous if my husband spends too much time on his hobbies or watching television. Though I certainly don't get as jealous as I once did (having kids and a computer helped with that :P). I remember a time he was putting together a prebuilt radio controlled airplane. He was working on it for hours so when he continued to do so the next day I ended up going for a walk around the block...a 7 mile walk! :P LOL Okay, so I didn't plan to make it that long, but once I starting walking, I figured I might as well keep going to see if he would notice that I was gone. LOL And he did! After that my husband got me a kitten so I could spend time with my kitty while my husband worked on his hobbies. LOL I even took that cat with me when we went to fly my hubby's plane. LOL
@jolenegreen (1209)
• United States
20 Aug 07
Hmmmm....He watches alot of TV. I am on the computer alot too though. I dont mind not spending time with eachother bcuase we are together pretty much 24 hours a day. The 2 things that upset me the most are he dont spend much time with the kids and he dont help around the house. Theese are my 2 complaints. The kids are growing up sooo fast and he hardly ever plays with them. The other thing, I dont EVER get help wit the house unless I ask for it and even sometimes then it dont even help. Makes me mad
@Laurla98 (786)
• United States
20 Aug 07
When my husband is watching tv or playing with his fantasy sports teams online, its like talking to a brick wall. When we were dating I could always tell when he was playing video games while we were on the phone because he would go quiet and do the uh huh and mmmhmmm crap. It annoys me sometimes, but I know I do it to him sometimes too. So I have to take that into consideration as well.
@jeanena (2095)
• Bucklin, Kansas
20 Aug 07
My hubby plays games on the computer . Once he gets started in a game I cant talk to him. Well i can talk but it is like he doesnt hear.The games he plays can last hours on end. If he needs to do something else it gets put on hold unless I really throw a fit.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
20 Aug 07
IN regards to the television - and everything including computer time as well - we have come to an agreement. HUbby loves to watch TV while I don't really enjoy it that much unless there is a movie or a documentary that I am interested in. He on the other hand gets home and the first thing he does is to turn on the TV even if there's nothing special on:) We both enjoy the computer but me more than him, so sometimes I would be at the computer, he was watching TV and even though we were in the same room it was like we both were alone in a way. It wasn't a good idea so we compromised and it has been working nicely. I take time to sit down in the sofa beside him and watch TV instead of being on the computer so much, and he takes a bit more interest in the things I do on the computer= specially my graphics and web sites - and will give me opinions and ideas. We both make sure that each day we have some time just for us - no kids, no tv, no computer - to talk or maybe play chess or cards together, and every weekend we have a games night together with the kids where we play cards, dominoes, chess, checker or other games. At the same time we each have some time each day to do what we really enjoy - computer, tv that will not be criticized by the other:) This has been working quite well with us and I"m glad we took the time to talk about it and find a good solution. Maybe something like this will help in your situation as well. IN any case talking about it and finding a solution you both feel good about is the best thing to do :)
• China
20 Aug 07
yes, he does. he like basketball and even taking time from me on our anniversary, let alone common days. i was so angery that time that i did not talk to him a few days. everytime he was called by his playmates when he is with me, he would leave me alone and go with his basketball. the first few times i was in his home, he should stay with me all the time because i was not familiar with his family and if he leaved for a while, i did not know what to do, how to sit or how to talk. but he still left me in the house and went to play basketball himself and did not allow me to go home. everytime i complain to him, he says,"it is the only hobby i have. it is the same important as you in my heart." i've found nothing to do with it.