When is the "right" time to have children?

So you wanna be free of kids by the time you're 40? You must be a Young person to think this way! I'm 73, with 4 grown boys and lots of Grandkids.I Have some experience in these matters, and see it all in a different light.Firstly you are foregetting that People are living longer, and are able to travel and see the world best, when they are older, and have more disposable income. Also you haven't considered the advantages of having your kids when you are still a kid (at heart)so you will be able to grow up with them. Also "being free at age 40", doesn't add up (Kids or no kids). 40 is not a good age because you are neither young or old, Its an age of transition. Also you don't want to be free of your kids, (ever.) Kids are what make life worthwhile! Why do you think most people have kids? My sister is 71 and has never married or had a family. She's a career woman who loves her work, but she suffers because she is alone. She dotes on our family and we feel for her in this respect. So my answer to you is... Have your kids when you feel like it... Just don't put it off until its too late!

well here in the US- women are having babies at all ages--- when I was in school- girls were pregnant at 16- nowadays much younger than that. My friend recently had a child at 41, they baby is fine and she is very happy that she waited. For the most part though women here finish school - then get married and have kids. As you know I do not have any and sometimes wonder what they might have been like - and then I watch the news and see all the horrible things happening out there and I am thankful I do not have any children (except for of course the hairy boys...LOL).

I am 26 and I have no kids.. Like u said here it is usual for us to wait a bit longer. noone thinks it is strange if u dont have kids at 30. I do want a family but it is also important for me to get a family with the right person and when I am totally ready for the life of motherhood =)

Personally I don't think age is as important as making sure you are finacially able to support children. I have seen 20-30-40 year old women have kids and not have any money to support them. I've also seen 18 year old girls working two jobs so they don't have to use welfare. AT PEACE WITHIN

Never, does never work for you? I always said I was too young to have kids, until I figured out that if I had a kid, I'd have a teenager in my 50's and said: AGGG, I was too young to have kids, now I'm too old! Not that I ever wanted a child - and now its too late! YIPPIEEE!!!!!

having children is a lifelong responsibility. way back in the 70's here in the philippines i would say 50percent of women get married between the age of 20 to 25 and start a family right away, but it has changed tremendously in the 90's up to the present. with a lot of opportunities available for women and men alike it has changed a lot. i have noticed that majority of the young nowadays will only settle down and start thinking of having a family when they are 30 to 35 years of age. they enjoy so much their freedom and single blessedness. as for me one can have children as long as they are finacially and emotionally capable to face the responsibilty of having one.

Well Sweetie I say do not have them until you are ready and that is that I do not understand that these Cultures are still going to be honest we are suppose to be our own Person I had my First one when I was 23 and my second one I was 26 which to me is what I wanted I mean really when they have them to young they are still Children themselves but I suppose every Country is different and it is the way they are brought up Hugs to you

My experience? I don't have any. Except for the fact that my mother was 18 when she had me and I think she missed out on her life. She's living it now and starting to get out and do more things for herself but I think deep down inside she should have done it when she was younger. I personally think that it's good to live a little bit first, so you don't feel as thought you've been 'robbed' of your free time. I'm only 23 but if I fell pregnant now I would feel as though I haven't done all the things i wanted to do like travel O/S or finish studying. At the same time though, I've been having nesting urges for a couple of years now and I think I'd be willing to give up travel and study for now to become a parent, and the happiness of starting a family would be stronger than other things.

Interesting question. One that will be answered quite differently by each person. Considering physical and psychological growth and maturity, other than that I think that the right time is when one feels it's the right time. There are dangers to this idea as well , because we - poor humans - are often confused as to when it's the right time for anything :) Western society values education, independence and thus in many cases women are giving birth later after finishing their education and creating a life that can be lived independently if needed. Other cultures value family life more and women are focused on creating a family and being able nurture it leaving the supporting issues to the males in the family. THis is not necessarily wrong, just different. Is there a right or a wrong time? Only if the pregnancy is not planned or it's imposed for some reason. WHen did I have my children? I was one of the ones that waited a bit. MY daughter was born when I was 29 and my son when I was 32. I don't think it was to late. I had time to finish my education. I had time to get married and enjoy married life before children, and those who are married with children know what I mean :) And now I am enjoying my kids as well. True sometimes I wonder if maybe I should have had them even at least 4 or 5 years before, but still I'm quite happy with my choices. Is this the right time? Not necessarily. It was the right time for me:)

i dont think there is any 'right' time to have kids because if you wait until you are ready (financially and emotionally) chances are you are too old to have kids lol!!!

Ok, I am not completely 'qualified' to answer this question in its entirety because I do not have any children that survived past three months in the womb; however, I can say at 41 years of age, with my last failed pregnancy at 34, there is more sway to later-age childbearing on the pendulum of procreation than early on, lets say between 17-30. I feel the European idealogy is more respectful and appreciative to a woman (and man) becoming whole within themselves, meaning satisfied in higher education goals reached, financial freedom achieved (to a point), a well-seasoned traveller not ready to quit after kids but at least have stories of places to tell them about, etc. It is much easier when we are more experienced than just merely a teenager struggling with their own identity let alone trying to mold a whole'nother person's identity. A baby for babies is ridiculous but some cultures prepare better so judging should be gently approached. In the US, the competition between young woman to have their kids sooner is amazing. So many want to be 'free' after 40, but with children as forever they are yours, who is really ever 'free' from their children ? sharing the light, Erica, the Enlightenment Advisor, M.A. Transpersonal Psychology Studies Counseling, Author/Artist/Freelancer http://www.shareapic.net/content.php?id=30215337owner=enlightenedpsych2

huh i do not know. i am 22 and the thought of a child scares me. for me the age is after 30 if i decide to have a child (+ a biology teacher told us that the child is the most healthy if it is conceived between the age of 33 and 35, 36) but i have noticed that pregnancy is related to education a lot... i went to a high school that allows further college education and am in college now, none of my ex classmates or other classes girls have children (well except one by accident) and there are girls also my generation who decided to go to other "lower" schools (for cashiers, waitresses etc) and a lot of them are already pregnant.

well i feel the best time to have kids is when you are ready phyically,and finaically secure.i think the best time is around your late 20's and early 30's,only if your ready for it.i am 33 and had all 3 of mine already.some people feel they have to have a child as early as possible,but to me if half the people that do it so early in life,dont ever really think of the outcomes involved,especially the money to have a child.when i was young i always wanted to have them real really too,but im glad i waited because i got to live alittle and own my own hair salon,to be able to be finacally secure.

I know it is considered normal here in Europe, but if you look around you will see, that it is happening more and more that girls get pregnant on an early age. Sometimes even before they are even 20. I am 25 years old and am a mother of 3. Now I must say I did start at a young age having a child. But I live in the Netherlands, and it seems to me that teen pregnancies are getting very normal now a days

I had my daughter when I was 18 and really I think I was too young. Of course I managed (because I had to!) but I do wish I had waited until I was a bit older because I think I would have enjoyed it all more. My daughter is now an adult and she has her own daughter but she didn't have her until she was 26. I think the difference between the way she is with her daughter compared to the way I was with her has brought it home to me that I really wasn't "ready" to be a parent at 18. Of course at the time I THOUGHT I was ready - heck I knew it all lol! But I think between the ages of 18 and 30 we do an awful lot of maturing mentally and emotionally (or at least we should!) so I think with the benefit of hindsight I would have waited until at least my mid-20's. I have to say though I'm full of admiration for these women that have babies in their forties. I'm 45 and my grandaughter is 15 months old and she wears me out lol! I thought I was pretty fit for my age until I started running round after a baby again.

I did it the easy way. I married a man with 5 children and got out of childbirth altogether. However, in the U.S. the norm is becoming teen mothers. Sad, but true. I'm 36 now and hope that another child isn't in store for the hubs and I. I am in college and our youngest is a junior in highschool. We already have grandchildren & I really, really hope we are done after our youngest is grown. I don't think I could handle another 18 years of motherhood. Sounds like Europeans have their act together. That's the smart thing to do. Get the education & career down, and get the partying out of the system instead of pushing out babies as a teenager then leaving them with sitters so mommy can go party. It's sad, but it is becoming the norm here.

Well, we're all different - my wife and I weren't sure that we wanted children until we were about 38, we were lucky and we have a lovely healthy little girl who will be four in a few months. I would not advocate having your first when you're nearly 40, but we are quite a youthful active couple (less active now...!) and it works for us. We have a home and can (just) afford to survive on one income, if we had children earlier, my wife would not have been able to be a stay-at-home Mother due to financial pressure. There are good points about being older parents, but then there are the bad points too....

I'd say the "right" time to have kids is whenever you, the person having the kids, feel that it is the right time to have them. Whether your child is more or less at risk for a disease, so long as you feel like you can handle it and take care of it that's what really matters. I mean you never really know whether your child will be perfect or be that one in one hundred million that has this condition or that condition. It's not about being rich or anything. It's about being stable and being caring and be able to take care of a child...whether you're 21 or 34 or 52.

It is all a matter of personal choice and circumstance. I really don't think there is any "right" time. I had my first child when I was 21 and my last when I was 38.

I don't have any children at the age of 27 and I'm not sure if I will have any. I finished school and started a career, but haven't been too lucky at it so it has never been the right time to have children. I just take it day by day, but now I'm in a 3 year relationship and just think to myself, if it happens it happens. I don't think it's good for someone to have a child probably earlier than 18 because they haven't had the chance to grow up themselves and that's the worse thing for a child (someone with the maturity level not too much more than theirs trying to raise them) It is way harder on the teen and the teen's parents because a lot of times they end of raising them. I think it's fine anytime after you become independent and start making your own decisions and money.