What's the most hurtful thing your spouse could do to you?

United States
August 23, 2007 7:46pm CST
As for me, the most hurtful thing that my spouse could do to me, would be to lie. And, I know you might think that cheating would be more painful. But, I see infidelity and cheating under the same heading as lies. You have to lie in order to carry on an affair. And, most times when a relationship gets to the stage where one partner feels comfortable lying, then he or she, most likely also doesn't mind cheating. If he left me, then that would also be a very painful event. But, once again, I'm sure I would have noticed that his leaving was a possibility once he begun to lie. For me, it all leads back to lies. Once the lies starts, the door is wide open to all kinds of bad possibilities for the relationship. So, what is the most painful thing that your spouse or signifigant other could do to you? Would it be a sign that the end was near for your relationship or just another bump in the road?
3 people like this
11 responses
@DanaMark (807)
• United States
25 Aug 07
I think the most hurtful thing my spouse could do is to leave me. Anything else I belie3ve we could work through. After 38 years we have figured out how to work through most anything. But if she left, that would no longer be possible.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Aug 07
Yeah, it would kill me if mine ever left. Not that he wouldn't have reason. When I get all hormonal, I'm a real bear! And, I know how to hold a grudge. I should practice the art of forgiveness more. Not that he has anything to be forgiven for. But, I need to be less petty and understand that he's only human. There, now you know my two biggest secrets. LOL!
@lburns70 (182)
• United States
24 Aug 07
To me it is being completely honest. My husband who loves me says what he feels even though it hurts me. If he sees a good looking woman he might make a comment that hurts. Example- he might think she is hot and wonders what it would be like to be with her. He says he wouldnt do anything behind my back he would let me know. I dont know. Sometimes knowing the whole truth isnt good.
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
24 Aug 07
I can understand that. A few times I can see it from the guy's side, but if he's not reassuring you that you are the most beautiful thing in his life (physically and emotionally) then yea he's the scumbag.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Aug 07
Good grief! lburns, why would a guy say something like that to you, especially if he's your own spouse. I would just die if mine did that. Mine is a real sweetheart and yeah, I get upset at him over trivial stuff and I hold grudges. But, I would just fall over in a pile if my spouse started pointing out cute women that he wanted to sleep with. Well, there's that and he'd be sleeping in the truck for a week after he did it. Maybe your spouse doesn't know he's hurting your feelings.
@KrisNY (7591)
• United States
25 Aug 07
am going to go with abuse- Any kind- mental or physical. To lie is bad- but I think I could move on and it would not do me bodily harm- but to abuse me would cause me harm- I agree though that cheating stems from lieing-
@Phoenix9 (59)
• Canada
24 Aug 07
I am in agreement with everyone else. Cheat or lie to me.
• China
24 Aug 07
sometimes you maybe so sentive.i will let bygones be bygones.so far ,nothing hurtful happen i wish you better.
@twoey68 (13650)
• United States
24 Aug 07
Lie to me or cheat on me. I've been in those kinds of relationships and hate going through it. I'd rather he be honest with me. AT PEACE WITHIN
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
24 Aug 07
The most hurtful thing. Cheat on me. Period. Other than that, if she stopped loving me or left me. Either one would be devastating. Realistically, the divorce would be the ultimate deathknell (not just emotionally). In either scenario its most likely the end of the relationship. I'm no slouch and I know I'm worth a lot more than that, anyone with the gall to try that kind of horrible action against me, I wouldn't want to be with them a second longer. End of story.
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
24 Aug 07
I would say treating our child bad would be the worst thing that my husband could do. If he ever hits my son, or treats him the way my dad treated me when I was little, I will leave him. He already knows that, though. He loves our son, and I seriously doubt he would ever do anything to hurt him, but you never know. I would be more willing to forgive him for hitting me or cheating on me than I would if he were to abuse my son in any manner. It's just not acceptable to treat children like that. Wea re supposed to love and take care of them.
• United States
24 Aug 07
i would say cheating. it has brought us closer
• United States
24 Aug 07
lying is the most hurtful thing. Trust and honesty is so important to me, and thinking that it is not valued by the other person is too much for me. I was in a relationship for 3 and 1/2 years and found out at the end that he had been lying the whole time about his father and their relationship. nothing good comes out of lying.
• United States
24 Aug 07
There are two things. One if he hit me, I would have to leave him. And if he didn't believe a word I said.I don't lie and I wouldn't lie to him but if he couldn't believe me it would hurt and I would have to leave him.