Changing name after marriage

@dreamy1 (3815)
United States
August 25, 2007 2:51pm CST
Did you do it? Why or why not? I'm not married and don't know if I ever want to but I know that if I do I will not be changing my name. Why you might ask. I don't think it's necessary. Some cultures don't do it. I don't want to do it because I don't want to go through the hassle of changing my documents like passport, drivers license, SS card, credit cards, yada yada. I've had my name for over 30 years I was born with it, and it's me so I'm keeping it. If I have kids they will have their father's last name I have no problem with that. I'm not hyphenating, making up a name, combining a name, dropping my middle name and all that jazz. But if someone calls me Mrs. Smith or sends me mail with Mrs Smith. when I'm really still MS. Jones. I won't get mad at them. People can call me Mrs. Smith if it makes them happy but all my documents will still be Ms. Jones.
6 people like this
14 responses
@crazed_moma (1054)
• United States
25 Aug 07
It really wasn't that big of a hassle. :) It never really occurred to me NOT to change my name. What do you plan on doing when/if you have kids though?
1 person likes this
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
25 Aug 07
The kids can have his last name that's fine with me. They'll have his name and that's it no adding names or hyphenating.
2 people like this
• United States
26 Aug 07
lol I was gonna say that could get a bit annoying. If two people with hypenated last names married and their children had both of their names. lol I can see it now!
1 person likes this
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
26 Aug 07
Yeah or you could do it in the Latin tradition and have multiple names without a hyphen. I had a Filipino ex bf who had 5 names but he only used 3, first name , first last name was middle name and second last name as last name. Ex John Doe Jones. He usually just wrote it as John D. Jones so that's not confusing.
1 person likes this
@ranitam22 (1147)
• United States
25 Aug 07
I see what you mean, it is a big hassle to change all those documents and then when you fill out applications and stuff you have to fill out that extra space for your maiden name. I guess for me it would depend on what my spouse's last name was and if it went okay with my name. Nothing like marrying into a jacked up last name..lol
1 person likes this
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
26 Aug 07
Ha ha jacked up last name lol.
1 person likes this
@clocks123 (1226)
• United States
25 Aug 07
i think you should change your name when you are married because you are married now that is how it use to be and i believe it to me now as well
1 person likes this
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
26 Aug 07
Well just because things are like it used to be why does it mean it has to stay that way? I don't think that's a good enough reason for me to change it just because that's how it used to be. People used to be slaves should we start enslaving people again because that's how it used to be?
2 people like this
@lecanis (16661)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
25 Aug 07
I didn't change my name after I got married. There were several reasons really, I guess, but mostly just because it had always been my name and I wanted to be born and die with the same name. I suppose you could also say my religious beliefs came into it, because I believe that names have great power. Casting aside my name would be throwing away part of myself. It would be different if you like switched names or something, because then it could be seen as "giving part of yourself to your partner" but since the woman simply takes the husband's name and gives up her own, I couldn't see it that way. I like being who I am, I have worked hard to become the person that I am, and that is not something I would just give up. My son, however, has my husband's name, and that's fine with me. I wasn't going to give my child a hyphenated name either, mostly just because it would be annoying to them.
1 person likes this
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
25 Aug 07
That's exactly how I feel. Some say "what's in a name" it shouldn't make a difference. But I totally get what your saying about the fear of losing a part of yourself when you change your name.
2 people like this
@Malamute (50)
• United States
25 Aug 07
Well, I'm not married and male so this may not be the viewpoint that you're looking for....but. It would not matter a lick to me if my wife didn't change her name to mine, it's an outdated practice. It's YOUR NAME, so keep it if you would like :-)
1 person likes this
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
25 Aug 07
I'm glad to hear that coming from a man because there are still some men who have a big problem with their wives not changing their names. Good for you for having an open-mind
1 person likes this
@Geminigirl (1909)
• United States
25 Aug 07
Good for you! I did not change my name either. I love my last name and I am proud of it, and it represents my family. I did not want to go through the hassle of changing every thing either. I'm so glad I did not change it, and I know you will be, too.
1 person likes this
@rinkub (231)
• India
26 Aug 07
I had a friend who had a decent enough name. She got married and since she was a journalist, she added her husband's name to her maiden name. For instance, if you are say, Anna Smith and you were to get married to a Johnson, it would be Anna Smith Johnson. She felt since she wrote and she was known in her profession by her name, changing her name altogether would confuse people. In less than a year she was divorced and reverted to her maiden name. People were just getting used to her former name once again when she remarried and she started using her new sirname, that is her present husband's. What utter confusion. All her numerous bank accounts have different names, her email IDs have different names, her other cards have different names. Even she loses track which name is being used where. Recently she'd applied for a job. It was in a company she had earlier worked in during the period she was married the first time. As per her CV when her prospective employers wanted to check on her credentials they just couldn't find her name on the rolls! Finally she had to tell them her entire life's history. I think one should stick to just one name in their entire lifetime to save others from confusion.
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
26 Aug 07
Yeah that is confusing.
• Vietnam
26 Aug 07
i didn't, because i didn't get married. lol. in my country, women don't have to change their names. i know there are people in many countries do, but it's not obligatory. it's just something the majority do, and of course, one doesn't have to be with the majority all the time.
• India
26 Aug 07
to change your name after marriage depends on the views and likes and dislikes of both the husband and wife.just because it's a custom or tradition whatever it be, to change name is outdated nowadays. some change their names for numerological beliefs. whether to change name or not you have to discuss with your husband and decide because you should not have misunderstanding between both of you and you both should live happier and peaceful life.
• India
26 Aug 07
I didnt change my name for 5 years after I got married and i was determined to use my maiden name forever. However once my daughter was born, the first compromise came when i applied for her passport. In the country I am from, mother's maiden passport won't do for a child's passport. whether its a practise or a law i do not know but the fact is since i needed to travel abroad with my baby i didn't have much choice at that point of time. It was either change the name in the passport to get my baby's passport fast or fight the system and delay it. I took the easy way out and now i am stuck. Even if i want to use my maiden name i can't because my passport has my married name.If I could find out from somewhere whether it was ok to use maiden name in fact of passport having married name, I would surely continue to use maiden name.
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
26 Aug 07
You couldn't use both names? Like Jane Smith (maiden) Jones (married) That way I'd think they'd be interchangeable but I'm not sure.
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
26 Aug 07
When I got married I changed my last name...I guess in away i'm old fashioned that way...I changed all my id for nothing and had to send proof to others but it wasn't really that hard to do...But my sister told me if she gets married she keeping her maidon name as well I guess it's really up to the person who is getting married...My husband was happy I took his last name but I know he would of supported me if I kept my name..
@nangel78 (1458)
• United States
26 Aug 07
I changed my name because I got tired of having to spell out my maiden name for everyone. Nobody ever got it right and I do not blame them. It is name that has different spellings to it and I just got tired of it. My husband's name is much easier to spell and I prefer it.
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
26 Aug 07
I didn't, only because I thought the change was automatic -I could write Mrs. so and so on documents and such right away. We've procrastinated because it doesn't mean so much. I found out from a Chinese friend that its not automatic in their culture to do so and my husband's family is Chinese. I don't feel too connected to my name - or his - I may change it to something that has meaning to me, like my pen name that is also my legal one.
@cutepenguin (6447)
• Canada
26 Aug 07
I changed my name. It didn't really matter to me, although now that i think about it, I still haven't changed all of my documents. Eep. That's something to get done.
@petspets (476)
• Antarctica
26 Aug 07
I agree with your views. Years ago when I was married I was proud to be called Mrs... because I loved my Hubby very much. After much unhappiness with him and his family, I dislike being called Mrs... and would always put Madam ...( my last name) whenever I have to fill up a form. I'm proud of my last name because it is my father's name. He was a good father.