Let's talk about third parties...

Switzerland
August 27, 2007 6:47am CST
Two-timing or third party. These are terms that everyone knows and whom everyone despises to become one or be a victim of such events but then again, why does the concept exists? Why do people resort to this? And what kind of thinking could they have and guts to even endure being one and or doing the deed. What could be the reasons why these things take place? Now tell me, if for example, you have a guy whom you dearly love, what could be the best and realistic reason that you could come up with why you will do this? What will make you do such a thing towards your girl/guy despite your love for her/him and let's not close the idea that just because you love your guy so much is that it is unlikely that you will do this. What do you think would make you do such things? And if so, how would you justify this to yourself? I don't think I can ever justify it. I'd rather be single forever than cheat on someone.
4 people like this
4 responses
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
27 Aug 07
I've never cheated on anyone, but I have been in relationships that weren't monogamous. It was simply a matter of being in love with more than one person at the same time, nothing more than that. Had my partner not given me permission to have such a relationship though, I would not have done so, because I think cheating is horrible. If you really feel like you want to be with someone else so badly, and your partner doesn't agree with it, you should just leave that relationship.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
27 Aug 07
"It was simply a matter of being in love with more than one person at the same time, nothing more than that. Had my partner not given me permission to have such a relationship though, I would not have done so, because I think cheating is horrible" I agree and as you know can relate....and I do really think that cheating is horrible EVEN THOUGH I was a cheater many yrs ago (after I'd been cheated on in a previous relationship)...BUT now I'm in a non monogamous relationship/marriage (though that doesnt mean I'm with anyone I choose, there is ONLY one other man and its been that way for 10 yrs) however if my husband (not married at the time mind you) had said he WASNT cool with it, it'd never have happened..oddly enough though it was HIM who'd suggested it in the first place!
2 people like this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
29 Aug 07
Funnily enough, Ravenladyj, it was kind of the same way with my situation. A friend and I had kind of been dancing around each other for years when my husband and hers kind of said we should just have a relationship and stop being stupid about it. It didn't work out, long-term, for a lot of reasons, but at the time it was the best thing for everyone involved.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Aug 07
I know exactly what you mean. It's like...if you are still at a point in your life where you can't commit to one person...don't commit to one person and don't make one person think you actually HAVE! I don't understand what would drive a person to cheat or two time, honestly. I mean I guess one reason (not saying it's a good reason) is if maybe a husband or wife wanted to leave their spouse but didn't want to go through the hassle of a divorce. Like I said, that's not a good reason, but there ISN'T a good reason. Maybe people like that are trying to prove something. Who knows? Or just do it to show that they have so much control in their relationship that they can do whatever they want and their partner will sit there in their leash waiting to be called again. People who think it's okay seriously make me sick.
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
14 Apr 08
I am assuming that you are talking about people that cheat. So, here is my intake on this. The only time I cheat on someone is when I am no longer in love with him and I am trying to find a way out, so that he can break up with me first. I never have the heart to break if off with anyone. But, if I truly love someone, I would not cheat on them ever.
@derek_a (10874)
27 Aug 07
I think most people do their utmost not to cheat, but unfortunately, life and love may not be so black and white as that. It may be a person's karma to meet somebody some day that it is spiritually necessary to be with, and an overwhelming force compels them into a relationship. As a Zen practitioner, I see life and its experiences as a lesson and we are presented with experiences that are beyond our ideas of what is right and wrong and we need to deal with that. In Zen, I am learning about what it is not to judge self or others - for our every-day thinking mind (the ego) cannot contemplate what absolute Truth is - it is only when we are integrated with our spiritual mind that we can and then we become enlightened. :-)
1 person likes this