I got to admit, that ...

Philippines
August 27, 2007 10:14am CST
I am a failure in every relationship i entered myself into.. got this attitude "My way or the highway"...ive realized that this isn't doin any good to my boyfriend and to myself as well. I am punishing and suffocating my boyfriend that tends to really make him doubt whether i loved him or not. the way i was brought up and have seen how my mother treated my father had been inculcated in my brain and had been subconsciously absorbed has made me treat my boyfriend as my mother treated my father. i know that it is wrong and that i have the choice of changing it and not following in the footsteps of my mother... That's how i have lived and seen it all, i know its not an excuse and I should control myself and slowly lessening the bad habits or attitudes that my mother has shown to my father... How about you??what have you inherited from your father/mother that tends to affect on how you handle your relationship.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@cheska26 (34)
• Philippines
28 Aug 07
maybe you can ease in the idea of giving in to your partner, letting go of yourself. imagine yourself in his shoes, something like that. you are not a failure, its just that maybe you are afraid of letting go or losing grip that you tend to control, people can still change you know, stop comparing yourself to your mom, you are a different person, yur choices define who you are. you wouldn't have a boyfriend if he never saw anything fascinating about you. sometimes it also takes too long to be able to find someone that balances who you are. i had problems myself, i was paranoid and rebelious through all my relationships, for years it had an expiry date of 1-3mos. and i was okay with that, my parents were separated and yeah, my father cheated and run off with my moms bestfriend, but hey it took me a stubborn man before i realized that relationships are different because the two individuals in it were different. so don't lose hope. ;p
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Sep 07
Yeah , I am defined by having a man in my life or by following the shadows of my mother. I am who I am and I have a life of my own I can be influence by some people but never would be acting the same as them.
@Far525 (37)
• China
28 Aug 07
As far as I see, I did not consider my parents 's marriage is the best one.By opposite, I thought the best way for them was to divorce.But, as I grow up, I find they are happy to be together.The facts are not as bad as I image.I understand that don't always believe on your eyes. If although there may be problems in your prents' marriage, it not your fault and it not means you will make the same mistake.I think, you should talk with your boyfriend about your problems.You must trust yourself and try your best for it.Come on, baby.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Sep 07
Indeed, I am a different person. I am not my mother nor my father. I am who I am, I own my life and not them. They do influence me on how to view some things in life and how to deal with life and on the other hand it made me realized also that life is what we want it to be. We are mesirable because of the choices weve made in our life that leads us to be mesirable.
@silkyt34 (324)
• United States
27 Aug 07
thankfully my mother taught me never to be jealous,always give 110%, always put your spouse first, and most importantly always tell the truth and talk about everything she told me that way if you know you love that person then everything is golden..her way of thinking was if you have to fight and argue and mistrust the person you love then why are you with them.. to her and to me doesnt sound like the type of life i want to live i want to be happy and know the one i love will be there for me always.. good luck hun i hope you can change your way of thinking before he decides he wants to leave... the highway is a pretty lonely place when your out there all alone... make some compromises... they dont hurt they just take some time getting use to.. follow the golden rule.. do onto others as you would have them do onto you.. its the best one you will ever follow.... good luck again
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Aug 07
that is something i that struck me. i would like to say i really appreciate you shared your experience and the advice that you have given me.. hopefully if he's gonna leave then the next one would be different...
• United States
28 Aug 07
Mostly, from my parents I learned how 'not' to do things. They argued about money constantly, and tended to snap at each other over the least necessary instances. It was like two bulls locking horns constantly. They genuinely did love each other, but finances got in the way. I suppose it is what eventually made me take a 'money will come when I need to use it' sort of stance towards life. I can be broke for weeks at a time and be happy.
• Philippines
29 Sep 07
I definitely agree with you when it comes to finances it really ruined everything a happy and contented family can be ruined because of this issue. there are alot of divorce cases now and the number issue and main cause of divorce is "money". That is something so intriguing though but obvious to say but never the less hopefully people would realize life isnt all but money.