If you have to have only one kid ,what should you do?

China
August 28, 2007 10:33am CST
Next year I plan to be married.I love kids.But in my country policy does not permit us to have more kids because birth control is the most important fundamental policies .As a matter of fact ,I'm the only child in my family.I'm the first generation product of the policy.I feel lonely in my life,I long for any brothers or sister. So I hope my son or daughter has one or two companions and they help each other,love each other in their lives.
6 people like this
19 responses
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
28 Aug 07
My only kid will be treated just like any other child-he would e corrected, cautioned, warned and repremanded into the correct ways of life! If you shower your only kid with excess love, money or too much freedom, you will spoil him or her and you will regret why you ever brought forth life with your own blood into this world! I know of an only son who was given everything, only to later be turned into a family monster, beating up every body in his drunken stuper and selling off family assets for more booze! What pride is there in having such a child!
3 people like this
• Canada
28 Aug 07
I think it's unfair to limit the amount of children a family is allowed to have. I have one sister. Two children in my family made it just the right size. We were born 4 years apart. What happens in your country if a family decides to have anothe child, against the rules?
2 people like this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
29 Aug 07
They can be forced to pay a fine up to 8 times a yearly salary, imprisoned, suffer destruction of property (houses have been bulldozed) as well as be forced to have abortions.
2 people like this
• Ireland
6 Sep 07
that is the most horendous thing i have ever heard!! its downright disgusting!! and a complete infringement on human rights!! how can they get away with this!!
@lesnan (537)
• United States
28 Aug 07
Pray for twins. Miracles have been know to happen for those who pray.
2 people like this
• China
29 Aug 07
thanks for your opinion.I will.But the probability of twins is one in ten million.Am I so lucky?
2 people like this
@babystar1 (4233)
• United States
29 Aug 07
I am from kansas, I work with china students that come over to go to college here. Yes they did tell me about you can have only one child. They also told me if you do have another child you have to pay money for having another baby.We dont have rules like that here. I have 5 sisters and one brother. I have 4 children of my own 2 girls and 2 boys. I am glad that we can have has many children as we want.
2 people like this
@vicki2876 (5636)
• Canada
28 Aug 07
I am so sorry for you. That law is amazing! I am in Canada and we don't have any such laws. I came from a family of 6 and I have three childern myself. I would have loved to have more but couldn't. Is there anyway people can change those laws? I am not sure why government would control what I think should be a human right. But I guess considering you child will be going to school with other single child families it will seem normal and they would all like to become close because no one will have siblings. I used to be jealous of my friends who were only childern because they seemed to have so much and were given everything they wanted. But they said they would rather have had the siblings. My sister is my best friend. Good luck!
2 people like this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
28 Aug 07
China has that policy because of their enormous population. It's an affront to basic human rights and causes enormous suffering.
2 people like this
@vicki2876 (5636)
• Canada
28 Aug 07
That would be terrible for me. I always wanted to have big family. By today's standards, mine is big with three kids. I feel so sorry for the families that have to go through this suffering.
2 people like this
@tsitra100 (171)
• Barbados
28 Aug 07
If your country permits you to have only one child and you want more, then you should move.
2 people like this
• China
29 Aug 07
Good idea.I will try my best.Hope when I succeed in moving,I am not too old.
2 people like this
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
29 Aug 07
I suppose if that were the rule in the country in which I was living I would have to follow it. I 'm glad that it isn't the rule in the United States. I have four beautiful children. I do feel that the number of births should be limited in our country for those who are on welfare, but that it an entirely different discussion/subject!
• Canada
29 Aug 07
I can't imagine how hard this would be . I have five children and can't imagine my life without each and everyone of them . I never thought I would want a big family but after I had my first I wanted another and then my second and so forth and would even have anohter if it were not for medical reasons that I could not . Have you ever considered moving someplace else ? I am not sure if this is an option but there are so many other places you can live that don't have this law and one is allowed to have as many children as one wants .
1 person likes this
• China
29 Aug 07
you must be a happy mother,your kids must be happiest kids,envy you.I will try my best to move,but it is not easy.thank you for your response.Best wishes
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9484)
• United States
28 Aug 07
I say have your child and if you still feel like you want more after you have them and have raised thm for a few years. Moving to another country. Thats the only option i see for you. So save your money and get ready to move. lol What happens if an accident happens and you end up with another child. Does the goverment abort it??
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
28 Aug 07
There have been reports of forced abortions in China for women who violate the One-Child Policy.
1 person likes this
@Nardz13 (5055)
• New Zealand
29 Aug 07
Hi there. Good for on planning out your marriage for next year, I hope it all goes well... I never knew or heard about where countries control the birth of a child/children... So tell me what happens when the mother has quads/triplets or twins for that matter... I think the law in such countries stink... They should base the number of children on how financial, healthy, safe and caring the family are before they have children... Have a great day anyway...
• China
29 Aug 07
When the mother has quads or triplets ,the government will support her in raising the children.If you break the policy,you will be punished with money or in other ways.
@youless (112091)
• Guangzhou, China
29 Aug 07
I think we are from the same country because only our country will have this unfair rule. I don't like it. I think it's better that we have two children. It's up to the parents. Two children will be perfect for a family. One child is somewhat risky. I think there is only two choices for it. One is your have to bring up your child in a good way. I know he/she is the only one child, but remember do not spoil him/her. After all, being independent is the best gift for them. Another choice is to earn more money to have one more child.
@iamtetet (44)
• Philippines
29 Aug 07
so sorry to hear your predicament. i hope that the law would somehow change in your country. probably you can move (if its not difficult) to a closer country but no policies like that. that way, you can have many children as you want. are you from china? coz ive heard that couples are only limited to one child. ive recently read somewhere about preference of abortion in the same country. so males have a higher population than girls.
• China
31 Aug 07
Yes,I know ,our country is such a big popoulation country.
• China
29 Aug 07
Nowadays many contry doesn't permit to have more kids in oder to control the birth rate.Which country do you live in?Even so,you can look for the policy of your country,maybe you will find some exiting.
1 person likes this
• China
31 Aug 07
I live in China.As many pepole know,it's a big-population country.
@ssh123 (31073)
• India
29 Aug 07
We too have only one kid and it is really difficult to raise a single child. We thought of adopting a child for the sake of company to our child but then it did not work. Nowa days our earnings are not at all sufficient due to increasing cost in education and maintenance. Single child raising will create certain behavioural problems. In countries like Sweden, they adopt a children from Asian or other countries to give company to the other child so that psychologically they behave normally and learn things faster than single.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
29 Aug 07
For me, it would not be as big of a problem. I only plan to have one child. I have a lot of friends who are only children, and they are fine. I'm very close to my siblings and my cousins, and my kid will play with their kids a lot, so they will still have the extended family that I had growing up.
• Philippines
29 Aug 07
Well actually life is so hard these days and it is very important that you plan your family. MAybe the 1 child policy is ok if you want to. As long as you love your family, that's all that matters.
@rx4life (1930)
• United States
29 Aug 07
I feel so badly for the children growing up without siblings...families are wonderful...My daughter and son in law are leaving the US on the 13th of September to come to your country and adopt a little girl...we are all so happy. She will need a little surgery on her leg as she has a club foot...but we will all help with that..she is coming to a very loving family with 2 little boys and 4 grandparents...we can hardly wait...They are unable to have anymore children biologically...she is a beautiful child...we have seen pictures and videos of her... I hope you can move away from such a country that disallows families to be of a size as to be happily engaged with each other as children...but it is difficult to leave the rest of your relatives...you have a tough choice...Bless you in your decision...and keep in touch... you sound like a very kind and gentle soul... I am so excited about my new granddaughter...and learning about her culture...she will be 1 year old 7 daysafter she arrives here in Seattle..I have begun a diary for her to read when she is older containing my feelings and excitement about her arrival... I have written down many thoughts and prayers of mine and also comments by her parents and her brothers about their feelings about her pending arrival....I have documented with words and pictures all the changes in the house in anticipation of her arrival...I hope someday it allows her to know how much we wanted her and wished for her...She will be loved just as if she was born into our family...there will be no difference...I have raised a beautiful family that are not blood related in the normal ways ...and we have never referred to each other as step parents or children...we are a family bound together by love...and it is a great love... I hope you have the same some day..It is so wonderful.. Best of luck with your life's decisions..
@brew2x (3094)
• Philippines
29 Aug 07
I'm sorry for you. I hope they would revise your country's policy regarding birth control and let couples have as many kids as they want as long as they will be able to take care of them and support their needs.