If you are an adopted child, are you still looking for your parents?

adopted child - adopted child with foster brother not the same race.
@jcyap888 (721)
Philippines
August 30, 2007 7:17am CST
I'm an adopted child,i still looking for my parents even they told me that they are irresponsible, addict, etc. just want to know who they are who are my brother and sister. what my family back ground history. health history. etc. but i dont blame them for giving me for adoption, i think they had some good reason for that. i been looking in the internet if i will trace any site. but still the same cant find one site to look for them.
6 people like this
11 responses
@lightningMD (5932)
• United States
30 Aug 07
My husband is adopted but he has no desire to locate his birth parents. He says your parents are the people who fed and clothed you.the people who lo0ved you and wiped your nose and changed your diaper. Not the person who got pregnant by mistake. He is just grateful that they cared enough to give him up when they realized they were not ready to be parents.
1 person likes this
• India
31 Aug 07
I am not an adopted child, but I have been fascinated by adopted children and their adoptive parents. I understand that as adults, parents make a conscious decision to adopt a child and bring it up as their own. The child also learns to treat them as its own parents, unaware of the fact that it was adopted. Then one day, suddenly the child is told that it was adopted in infancy. What happens then? Do the adoptive parents and the child go through psychological trauma of owning and disowning each other? You are the first person whom I am interacting personally and who is adopted. I can understand the urge to trace out your biological parents but one thing I must say is that please be careful that you do not hurt your biological parents in the process. I am not saying that they did you any favour by bringing you up, but your adoption should not be a cause of resentment between you all. Children have lot of arguments and misunderstanding with their parents, but your biological parents should not be made to feel that just because you have suddenly come to know that you were adopted, you suddenly feel like cutting off the strings and go away looking for your biological parents. If ever you meet your biological parents, they should also not be made to feel guilty about giving you away. All in all, I don’t think it would be a very healthy situation for you, if and when you meet your biological parents. I know you cant do it (the urge is tooooo strong) but I still think that you should give up the search and instead concentrate on your ‘parents’ like all children do, try to make them happy as their child, concentrate on your career and move on with life in general.
@djmarion (4901)
• Philippines
31 Aug 07
yes of course so i would know how they look like and why did they gave me to other people. i want them to explain to me the reason, i wont be mad at them but i guess everybody deserves an explanation right.
• Philippines
31 Aug 07
yes, i still want to look at my parents. I want to see the resemble and if they indeed my true parents. I want also to know what happen, why other people adopt me, although it is past, my life will never complete if i don't know when it all began. Anyway, i have their blood that is why when we do get angry of them we still felt attached to them.
• Malaysia
30 Aug 07
I suggest you to get an authoritative source of information and the appropriate channel is National Registry Department. You are the only one that consider an authorized person and you have the concrete reason to the solution finding, son & parents. I hope my small help will works for you. I'm feeling very very sorry on reading your statement of declaration.
@maryannemax (12170)
• Sweden
30 Aug 07
if i had been an adopted child, i will be a bit curious of who my parents were, how they did live before and the reasons why they had to give me away back then. i think i will just ask from the persons who adopted me and i won't try so much in searching for my real parents. i don't know why. but that's just how i feel. maybe i will just be thankful for the people who adopted and took care of me and be satisfied with their love and affection for me. if ever i will know something about my real parents, that would be great. but if not, i will still be fine. anne
• Philippines
30 Aug 07
i had seen some adopted child looking for their parents..some are positive for the reasons and some just wont..for me, its been a good option to have a child adopted to a family who can be responsible for their growing years..someone who can give them their rights and someone who can treat them right if the original parents can..i think that is way of showing love for their child rather than being selfish by keeping the child and cannot act as parents to him/her..if i am adopted i will still look for my birth parents..i still wanna know how they are..what they look like..who they really are and from what family did i orirgin..i think thats normal.
@joyce959 (1561)
• Philippines
30 Aug 07
I am not adopted. I have some officemates who have adopted kids. They said they will tell the adopted child the truth but at the right time. Sooner or later the adopted child will find out that he/she is adopted and will start to ask about his/her identity and about the biological parents. In your case, you are already grown up and and has already a family of your own. I understand how you feel... that you like to know your biological parents for your own reasons. The best way to find that out is thru your adoptive parents. If they don't like to divulge, you can ask their relatives or close friends who probably know about it. Good luck.
@lynboobsy11 (11345)
• Philippines
30 Aug 07
if i were on your side. i will do the same as yours. i will still look for my real parents. because i would want to know who are the one's who brought me in this world. even though they are irresponsible, i still would want to know them.
@youless (98994)
• Guangzhou, China
30 Aug 07
I don't think I will look for my parents, especially when I am happy in this family and they treat me as well as their own child.
@tuffy999 (794)
• Philippines
30 Aug 07
you have all the right to look and know who your biological parents are, for whatever reason you may have in looking for them. start with your adoptive parents, ask them who your biological parents, i'm sure they have the names. check the hospital where you were born or the nso. checked your profile you're from the philippines, we have a lot of common family names and most same family names originated one way or the other from the same place, if you have the names it will not be that hard. just have an open mind. good luck
• Philippines
30 Aug 07
i think yes, i will definitely look for my parents. though im not an adopted one. because i think its my right to know them. and im sure to those parents who have done that kind of matter, they all have their own good intentions why they done that kind of thing. so regarding to your problem. go! dont lose hope, im sure god will find a way for you and your family to cross your path together.goodluck!