Disciplinary Actions for a 10 Year Old!???

@MsJessi (423)
United States
August 31, 2007 11:08am CST
Ok, so my son is 9, will be 10 next month. He's in 4th grade this year and we're running out of options as far as Discipline goes! We're not sure what to do anymore and I could really use some advice from other parents who experienced the same kinds of issues with their child and what they did to help them. Our main is issue with him is negativity. He refuses to do his school work, he throws fits in class, he lays his head down and refuses to listen. He chooses not to participate in class and takes a 0 for the day. He calls me nearly everyday telling me that he has to stay an hour after school as punishment for his actions. He disrespects me and only listens to my husband, who of course is gone all day at work. Here's what we've tried: We've been working on positive reinforcements; telling him he can do this, telling him that he's smart and capable of learning. Telling him how proud we are of him when he does a good job and completes his work. We even started a chart where he would get a check for everyday that he did well, and an X for every day that he didn't. And if could get 5 checks in a week, than he could choose an activity to do over the weekend, whether it be rent a movie of his choice, or rent a game to play, or choose a family board game to play...etc. But that just didn't work, he could never get the 5 checks in a week. So we've tried grounding, taking things away and telling him he had to earn the thing or priviledge back...and that doesn't work either. It's like he'd rather just do without what he lost, than work to get it back. SO, I've been talking with his principal and teacher and thought of a reward system...that involves play money. Whenever he completes his work, or does something good, or expected of him, he would be "paid". And then whenever he disrespects either us or his teachers, or does not do what's expected of him, he will have to pay money. The money can be used towards his reward of choice. Nothing too extravagant...but reasonable. I don't know, I'm just so frustrated. It just feels like no matter what we try to do, he just keeps slippin further and further!
1 person likes this
5 responses
1 Sep 07
hi you just talk to your child.
@MsJessi (423)
• United States
2 Sep 07
Talkin isn't workin. We talk to him all the time. And all we get is a bunch of "I Don't Knows". We can never get a straight answer. He'll start makin stuff up...and the only reason I know he's makin it up is cause it'll prove later to be untrue. And then he'll struggle to think of something else.
@crazed_moma (1054)
• United States
1 Sep 07
I like your play money idea. For my kids I have tokens they earn when they do chores and lose when they misbehave. They trade them for Xbox time, computer time and, if they save enough, real money. Was he like this for his teacher last year?
• United States
1 Sep 07
That sounds like a difficult situation. Maybe you need to take him to a psyciatrist and a psychologist he might just be lacking motivation in his brain or he could use a psychologist to overcome his disrespect for woman.
@alfecris (181)
• Philippines
1 Sep 07
you know what for me, the best place to to discipline your child is here in the philippines because here in my country, you can do all the things you wan to do with your kids because it is your obligation to discline them for as long as your are in the right track. just do not exceed on your limits and do not break the law. during that age around 5 to 11 years old is where you get your foundation with your kids. now for them to be good and that they would always learn from their mistakes is to reprimend them or discipline them in times of stubborness in class or even at home. i know you do not really do that to your child their because its agaainst the law.
@cher913 (25855)
• Canada
31 Aug 07
is school too hard for him? does he struggle in class? i know what you are going thru to a certain extent. my daughter is smart but she is lazy or gets frustrated and stops working without really trying. so much so that they have put her in a special class at school which i dont feel she needs but... talk to the principal and if they offer no help talk to the school board level. they have people that can help you.