My "adult" child has ADHD

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Raising John was not particularly easy. He was very thin, hyper and uncooperative in most matters. At the age of 2, he refused almost every food we offered him. For a week, all he would eat was Spaghetti'o's. Then for a l week, all he'd eat was peanut-butter, then peaches. Eventually, he settled on a steady diet of chicken nuggets, hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. From the age of 2-7, he never put a single vegetable nor fruit in his mouth. His dad and I disagreed on how to handle it. I wanted to let him go hungry until he ate what we gave him. His dad was afraid he would starve to death. He was abnormally thin and unusually strong willed. As his school years went by, he became more and more strong willed. Doctors would give him meds (Cylert, Welbutrin, ect...) and promptly take him off them when he lost weight. When he was 13, his dad died waiting for a heart transplant. After that, I couldn't get him out of bed in the morning or get him to go to bed at night. His teen years consisted of skipping school, smoking cigarettes, refusing to get a job, and being generally defiant toward me. At the age of 16, he was arrested for domestic violence for hitting his little brother. He went through a live in domestic violence rehab program that included daily talk therapy. His therapist was frustrated because he would get in trouble for things he did and then he'd blame somebody else for making him do it. He barely passed the program. I remarried and moved from AZ to TX when John was 18. My younger 2 children (10 and 15) came to TX with me. John stayed in AZ. He bounced around because he couldn't keep a job and hence couldn't pay his rent. When he was staying with a friend, he invited a stranger to his apartment to drink. (He was about to turn 20.) The stranger showed up with 3 other young men to rob him. The incident ended in the shooting death of one of the intruders. (John's roommate shot the guy who had pulled John's loaded shotgun on him.)We relocated John to TX a couple of days later. We cosigned for an 18 month lease on an apartment. IN that 18 months, John worked a total of about 6 months. He met a girl on line and drove to Atlanta to bring her to TX to live with him (in violation of the lease we had cosigned for.) Then he got a German Shepherd for his 3rd floor apartment. Then he got his girlfriend pregnant. In May, he had no job, a dog and lease that was about to expire and a pregnant and homesick girlfriend. So, what did he do? He drove to Atlanta to visit her family. His car broke down while he was there. So he called us to send him enough money for gas to get home. When we called him to confirm where he could pick up the money, he was waiting to be seated at TGIF for dinner. That was the final straw. We told him "Not another dime from us". The girlfriend had a miscarriage in the end of June. John got a job in July installing cable. But he didn't get paid enough money quickly enough to get an apartment. So he stayed with us for a few days....dumping all of his garbage in my daughter's closet and in my family room. When we kicked them out, they went to stay with friends. That's where they are now....with another baby on the way already. Today, he called to ask me to pick him up and drive him around because he needs to fix his truck. He is about to loose this job too. What can a mother do? I know I can't keep bailing him out.