Whats your opinion on women taking their husbands last name?
By pilbara
@pilbara (1436)
Australia
September 5, 2007 12:27am CST
There was a discussion on this earlier and opinions ranged from why should women do this, it's old fashioned, chauvanistic and misogynistic and women should have better sense than to continue to do this just because it is traditional.
On the other side people talked of it bringing about a sense of family and togetherness.
What's your opinion?
4 people like this
10 responses
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
7 Sep 07
I think one good solution would to have a woman hyphen the names...like have her last name first, then hyphen then her husbands name..a great way to blend the union of the two families, and this is getting more and more commonplace...I'm kind of against the woman completely dropping her last name though...like, what? Her name isn't important anymore just because she is married? It is kind of old-fashioned in my mind
2 people like this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
27 Jan 10
Why don't they both hyphenate? Why should it only be the woman who hyphenates?
@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
5 Sep 07
My husband told me ot was up to me when we got married. I wanted to keep my surname and add his but it would have been so long and a mouth full (28 letters in total) and than which surname to put on the kids and I would be different from them and that would open another issues so I decided not to keep my surname and I just got his.
2 people like this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
7 Sep 07
When I was married, I wanted to keep my surname and add his to mine. He wouldn't have it. I still go by my surname. I was working when I was married and didn't want the hassle of having to change the surname to a totally different one. So, officially I am still going with my last name. But sometimes I am referred to as Mrs. (Husband's last name) which is okay by me. Anything that concerns us as a family, I would like to be known as Mrs.__ ...but when it comes to my individual stuff, I would like to be known by my maiden name.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
27 Jan 10
I doubt if that's ever going to happen (turning the tables on men, I mean). Honestly, I feel it's the woman's choice. You see, there are some women who are just too family oriented....and are Mrs. so and so to the core (if you know what I mean). Their husband and kids are the be all and end all of the world. Well, you can say they don't have an identity of their own...but that's the way they want to be and we need to respect their choice. Just because we don't want to be a Mrs. so and so...doesn't mean that we need to feel that a woman who wants to be it is wrong....as long as she isn't forced into it. So, for women whose whole world revolves around the husband, it's but natural to take on his surname and not stick to her maiden name..and I'm sure such a woman would want to adopt the husband's surname. And the main thing here is what the individual wants...and not what's right or wrong.
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
27 Jan 10
If my husband thought he had any say in what MY Name would be, I'd start looking for a better husband. LOL Since when is an adult's name the business of another adult, who might suggest changing it?
And what would happen if a woman turned the tables on her husband and said she'd refuse him if he kept his name?
@carlaabt (3504)
• United States
5 Sep 07
I took my husband's last name when we got married. He's in the military, so pretty much everything would say Mrs. (his last name here) whether I had changed my name or not. That's just the way they do it. We had a neighbor that didn't take her husband's last name, but everything was still addressed as SrA and Mrs (his last name). I would hate to get stuff that didn't have my proper name!
Plus it's easier for our whole family to have the same last name. Instead of having two last names. That could get confusing to other people.
I can see why some women wouldn't want to take their husband's name, though. Like if a woman has a successful career before she gets married, and everyone knows her by her last name, she might not want to change it and risk confusing some people. Some people also just like their own name better.
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
5 Sep 07
I believe it's your own personal opinion. Whatever someone wants to do, it's okay with me. I took my husbands last name for various reasons. One, my last name at the time was from an adopted Grandfather. He was not my blood and had adopted my dad and aunt. Needless to say he was abusive to boot. My Grandmother actually ended up re-marrying my real grandfather, but not after we all already had the jerk's last name. Now as for the second reason I took his name, I thought it would be an honor to accept his name as mine. To actually become a "couple" a Mr & Mrs if you know what I mean. Also when we had children, it would be strange for my kids to have one last name and me to have another. We are after all a family.
But as I said before, it is up to each and every individual as to what they personally want to do.
1 person likes this
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
15 Oct 07
I didn't - just because we didn't know that it wasn't automatic - and we've just procrastinated. Our baby has his last name. We later found out that in Chinese tradition, the woman retains their own last name. As he is originally from there I don't mind going with that. Just a name. Still, I'll likely eventually change it - its so many years later so it won't be quite as easy.
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
27 Jan 10
If it was divided between women taking their husband's name,s husbands taking their wives names, whole families hyphenating, whole families creating new names, etc. then that would be fine. However, since the majority of people follow a very patriarchial tradition, I think the family unity argument is invalid. How is it that women are too often the ones to take the man's name, whereas the odd man who does take his wife's name is ridiculed for "not being a man?" Because of this double standard, I think the family unity argument is an invalid one. There are many other things that one can do to ensure a single family name.
@biwasaki (1745)
• United States
8 Nov 07
My husband and I had 2 of our children before we were married. We decided to give the girls his last name when they were born. When we got married later, I wanted to take his last name to show our unity as a family. Just because I have chosen to take his name and drop my own, doesn't mean that I have forgotten where I came from.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
8 Nov 07
We went to the Marriage Commissioner, my foster mother gave us a reception at her house, and my father had the wedding dinner at a dining hall over a store that was across from the Pacific National Exhibition near Hastings Street. When we went to the Marriage Commissioner, I felt as if we were over in the U.S.S.R, there was no ceremony, just signing of papers, and I started to think, "No wonder couples do not want to get married if this is what a civil wedding is like. People do need a little ceremony. It certainly would encourage people to marry.
@soleya (1100)
• Latvia
5 Sep 07
Well, I think that it is common to change the family name when going to marry. I personally haven't changed my surname when married two years ago, because I was affraid that I lose my personality. Now I am thinking that I will change my surname when I will have kids, so that our family would have the same surname.
